My ex and I have been informally separated for about a year and a half now. But I was living with him still, until two months ago (I had nowhere else to go and couldn't financially support myself, so I stayed for as long as I could handle the abuse). So I moved out two months ago, am filing for divorce, have been seeing someone for a month (a good friend of mine whom I've known since junior high), and I would really like to drop my married name now. I know that legally I can't yet, but I want to drop it on Facebook, at the very least. I have no ties to the name, I don't have a career to think about, etc. Everyone already knows me by my maiden name anyway.
I just don't want to see like I'm being a jerk to my ex. As horrible as he was to me, I know he's having a hard time right now and I don't want to rock any boats. But I also really don't want or have any need to keep his last name. Just wanting to change it first on Facebook. Feels weird for me to keep it when everyone knows we're not together.
You do what you feel you need to do, as harsh as it sounds let your soon ex deal with this how he has to. First step is change it on FB, legally you can put on the papers when it's final you are going back to your maiden. Good luck
I know when I got the papers, he requested my XDH aka troll I change my last name. I wanted to yet same time I felt wierd. I wouldn't have my three big kids same name anymore, yet I was prego with my fourth not the trolls child. An I wasn't going to give her her BD's, he didn't care about me when prego and he wasn't getting his last name attached to her. I went back to my maiden since I wanted my youngest to have mine, and that meant changing it. An I agreed, and when the divorce was final it changed legally. I had to change everything though, which I didn't like which meant my SS# and finally this year got done changing everything. IF I get married again, I'm just adding a name to my maiden. An my youngest will still match mine. :)
Yeah...it's interesting how something just snapped in me. I just had enough. I was done. I mean, we'd been separated for a long time anyway, but I had been so scared to move and start a new life until one day I just decided that I wanted a new life more than to stay in the same crappy spot with him. You know? I couldn't be happier!
When I started my job right after the separation I told them my legal name, but asked to go by my maiden name. It still confuses some people at work :) but I needed to do it to help reestablish my identity and reclaim control of my life.