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Single friends still clubbin'
March 27, 2013 at 11:20 AM

I feel like I'm having a hard time fitting in with my single girlfriends now that I am no longer married.  I am dating/have a boyfriend but I do like to get together with girlfriends every now and then.  That is something I neglected big time when I was married so I am making it a goal to do better in this area.

My good girlfriend likes to attend happy hour at a local bar/club every Friday.  Whenever I am available, this is what she does/suggests.  I have went a few times but it's not really my scene.  She also will suggest the local clubbin' type events that happen in our city, i.e. radio station anniversary parties, local promoter parties, etc.  I don't mind a good dance at the club maybe once or twice a year, but the free days I get with her or a few other of my friends I don't want to spend in the club.

Do I just forgo this time with them, insist on other events or try and find new friends?



  • petite101
    March 27, 2013 at 11:24 AM

    Suggest other things to do. You don't always have to go out to the club or bar to get together with friends. 

  • NaviHope
    March 27, 2013 at 11:32 AM


    I try to.  If there are other events, I bring them up.  Occasionally we do other things, but if it's on a Friday, this is pretty much what my one good friend does.  She has been going for awhile.  I guess it's "her thing".  I have also lost a lot of weight and have been healthy eating and such.  She will always suggest eating out which is tough to do while eating healthy.  I don't like restaurants that much.  I just feel like we have nothing in common anymore.

    Quoting petite101:

    Suggest other things to do. You don't always have to go out to the club or bar to get together with friends. 


  • jenmomx3
    March 27, 2013 at 11:53 AM

     Try to include them in other events, AND find new friends.  You need to have friends that have something in common with you.

  • steviechick
    March 27, 2013 at 1:25 PM

    I used to have two friends I could sometimes rely on.  One is married, so we saw each other rarely.  We used to meet for dinner every other week.  When Fri/Sat/Sun came she spent that time with her family and husband.  The other friend used to be single but decided to move back in with her ex-bf.  Every now and then we would hook up and do a movie together, go walking, or hang out for dinner.  I grew tired of having too much time on my hands so I looked for a single/divorced group at a local church two months ago.  Since then I have made four new friends.  One lives near me and the other live in the ajoining state.  We meet for church service on Saturday night and occassionally have dinner together afterwards.  Just chat time mostly.  I'm looking into for more social gatherings for single women.  I'm not about to date on-line.  It's been hard being single and mostly friendless for over a year (since my divorce).  It's hard to start your life all over again, too, and at my age.  That's why I'm thinking about moving near my sister where there's more opportunity to meet new people, be near family and have more things to do with my time.  I'm also hoping to encourage my daughter to move with me so she can continue her studies. 

    I would encourage you to go on-line to  There are probably a lot of single groups in  your area that have a lot in common with you.  Also check out your local church to see what's going on with social groups.  There should be a lot of people looking to just hang out and stay away from the night clubs.

  • brieri
    by brieri
    March 27, 2013 at 3:38 PM

     Suggest something you wouldlike to do, to see if that changes the perspecive.  It's not alway easy to do,and if t doesn' work out, then find newfriends. Or go to the functions by yorself.

  • LifeCafe42
    March 27, 2013 at 4:49 PM
    Make some suggestions and maybe go to events and meet more people
  • faerie75
    March 27, 2013 at 4:55 PM

     id compromsie. do one of her events then find a different thing you like and invite her.

    also make new friends.

    when i was single (and after) i like happy hour. its right after work, i can have a drink or two, appetizers, catch up then go home. i dont have to dress like a hooch or stand or not be able to talk cuz music is loud.

    i used to go to clubs a lot but as ive gotten older, i do still enjoy drinking but not the whole trying to impress otehrs and wearing high heels. lol. also dont like being out that late. with happy hour i can be home by 8! :)

    i do like day parties too, but then thats not your scene. try and enter any activity you like. i personally liuke riding my bike and hiking. i ahve friends that like doing that too. there is a monthly event in my city called "bike party" that i like going to.

  • virginiamama71
    March 27, 2013 at 6:14 PM

     Sounds like you have outgrown your friends.

    Meet other people or like the others said suggest activities to do.

  • Robsessed98
    March 27, 2013 at 6:32 PM
    You've outgrown them. If any of them are genuine friends, stay in touch. You need to find friends who are at the same place as you are now.
  • NaviHope
    March 28, 2013 at 8:34 AM

    I am afraid I already knew this answer but wanted to hear it from someone else I guess.  I have outgrown my friends...what little I had left after everyone split after college.  I just don't have the same interests.  I don't want to seem like I'm better than anyone, I just have no desire to get all dressed up, get hit on by drunk guys, judge other women or drink.  I guess I will try to find more friends.  In the mean time, maybe I can suggest walks, movies or concerts every now and then just to stay in touch. 


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