My Last relationship ended in my ex finding someone else. One thing he mentioned is that She never had been married or had any kids and that make it easier. Even though he too was divorced with 2 kids. I find the dating thing hard. Its hard to trust that a man is mature enough to deal with the entire package of a woman with kids. I dont want to be made to feel like I have baggage. Im afraid to attempt a relationship because If it doesnt work out I dont want my kids to see me go through heartbreak. What do you think,? Any hopeful experiences. Can anyone relate?
I have been divorced for 15 yrs. My kids are now 16&18... since then I have had 3 serious relationship that all failed after living together and even being engaged to 2 of them. Yes it was hard for the kids too but ultimately kids need to learn sometimes grown ups are healthier apart.. and it's ok to be sad but it does get better. I don't want my kids to ever feel a relationship is worth losing themselves in or that they don't have the strength to move on. Whether relationships or friendships as they get older.
As for dating... yes I date. I have dated tge same man for almost 2 years. My kids know OF him but have never met him. The reason is because we are not looking to live together or get married so there is no need to complicate things. The kids know I am happy and I mainly see him when kids are gone anyway.
One thing I've learned about relationships is to enjoy the moment. Nothing lasts forever. As for the children, sometimes they'll meet the other person, sometimes not; I say choose wisely on who your children meet.
Before you go out with him, make sure he understands that you are a package deal and that your kids come first no matter what. Don't introduce him to them until you feel sure the relationship is going somewhere. While you're getting to know him, you'll pick up on how he feels about children and having to share you and be in second place. If he shows signs of not being able to handle it, say goodbye and move along.
My ex and I split up almost 2 years ago...I waited a year and a half to start dating. I was with this guy for 4 months..just broke up last month. He met my son and he had 5 kids of his own so when it ended i was mostly sad for my son because he got used to being around all the kids and still asks to go to their house occasionally. The break up is pretty new so I'm sure he will forget eventually. The whole expierence kinda put me off on dating for a little while. I enjoyed being in a relationship and I just ended up getting hurt again...I dont mind being single at least for right now. When its right..you will know!
Just make sure the other person knows that your kids are and always will be number 1. The girl I'm dating right now knows I have kids. And understands we are a package and they come first. She hasn't met them yet. She also understands that until we figure out where we want our relationship to go she wont meet them. And she is totally ok with that. And thats the way I honestly think it should be that way.