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ljeanbeans
New here. live on an Island with my 14 mo old
February 15, 2013 at 8:58 PM

My name is Laura and I live on an Island with my 14 mo old son Trent. There's a small community of people here. I'm legally married but haven't live with my husband for a year and a half because he basically cracked when I was pregnant. I have only had a friend or family member watch baby for 3 hours max since he was born a handful of times. I remember a few people telling me that being an adult would get easier when I was in my 20s, but I still feel like my life is a perpetual catch 22. There are no certified child care providers on the island for child care assistance, and I can't qualify for "welfare" unless I've applied for at least 10 jobs in the previous month even though there are barely 10 jobs to apply for in a 50 mile radius on a given day. I know how to make money on the internet, but work before hit and miss sales, so I don't use a babysitter. There are babysitters here, but they're $10 an hour. We are doing the Head Start home-based program and I have a counselor coming to visit every other week. I only get $250 a month in child support. The people here are really nice and it's a "true community", but I don't get out very often. I'm missing a "dance" right now at the library we both could go to except Trent was fussing out when I was trying to get ready so I wasn't ready. There's other mom's of little ones here, but they are not all frayed and frazzled like me because they have partners. I shower every 2-3 days cuz Trent only sleeps 12 hrs a day.

Replies

  • LifeCafe42
    February 16, 2013 at 1:02 AM
    Welcome!
  • brieri
    by brieri
    February 16, 2013 at 10:34 AM

     Hi and welcome to the group.

  • Robsessed98
    February 16, 2013 at 11:14 AM
    Welcome. Glad you found us.
  • ljeanbeans
    February 16, 2013 at 11:19 AM

    Thanks guys! Nice to meet you.

  • another-shoe
    February 16, 2013 at 12:44 PM
    Hi! On one hand you sound very lucky and the on other hand you have some challenges.

    I spent alot of time with just me and my two children (now elementary age) and looking back I realize that there were times when I needed ideas to stay engaged in the moment with my child.

    Do you mind a pep talk? Your child is achieving amazing developmental milestones: physical emotional language. it is so much fun to watch. Your child is living in the moment, you, may find yourself challenged to put aside yesterday and tomorrow in order to observe those magical moments with your child.

    Find activities that don't cost money. get outside and look around. start something like pick flowers or make a pile of leaves. find safe ways for him to move and walk and jump without to much hovering. demonstrated safe ways to carry a stick or use a shovel.
    Draw shapes in the sand.

    Start a developmental journal along with a gardening journal... I have more ideas on that

    Tell me how you are doing.
  • another-shoe
    February 16, 2013 at 12:45 PM
    Sorry about the typos!
  • ljeanbeans
    February 17, 2013 at 1:56 AM

    I actually really appreciate a pep talk.

    Quote:

    looking back I realize that there were times when I needed ideas to stay engaged in the moment with my child


    Yes, I feel this way. The most I've been doing is sitting down on the floor with him and talking to him about what he's doing. He smiles at me and then ussually, he just moves aside and plays. He's already getting the hang of being an only child, talks and sings to himself. He's not walking yet, although he can stand just fine, and he loves to bang things together to make noises and figure out how to put everything together and take things apart. He's already very independent and entertains himself a lot, except when he just wants my attention and tried to grab everything I have in my hand out of it. My challenge is genuinely playing with him because I feel so pressured. I baby sat when I was a teen and would love the opportunity to have an excuse to play baby games again. I want to, but I feel quite removed from that now.

    I love your input. Right now it's below zero at nighttime. Because he doesn't walk I haven't been very motivated to bundle him up and take him outside to play. Dishes, laundry, showers, moving my thing around (only been in this apt since Sept) and doing things online to make money. I want to take him outside to play. I don't want to be all work and no play. It seems whenever I take a break then I have consequences later.

    Yeah, and I cloth diaper with prefolds and hang dry all my laundry. Multiple reasons to, but the main one is health reasons. Trent does rash out from disposables. I've been working really hard at finding good deals on AI2s like Best Bottoms (make here in WI), but they're so highly sought after that even used ones are very expensive. At least, if I sell them later they'll be worth something.

    And, I'm still breastfeeding. My original goal was 12 month, but he just loves to do it. I guess I'll just have to feed him more and more real food and eventually he'll quit. This evening he probably ate...10oz or so of food and a whole piece of bread.

  • Cenedra64
    February 17, 2013 at 5:42 AM
    You live on an island? Thats got my curiosity up. We got a lot of islands here in NC. One island i know everyone. Wonderful people!
  • bnsellis
    February 17, 2013 at 5:52 AM
    Where is the island you live on?
  • January1964
    February 17, 2013 at 6:57 AM

    What island do you live on?

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