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sarahmiamaria
Meeting the parents
February 15, 2013 at 11:14 AM
So I've been completely single nearly 2 years. I met a guy ONLINE that seems to be pretty great. He has 2 kids (5 and 9)and I have 2 ( 3and 1). My parents mean the world to me and I would like for them to meet this guy and give me their view on him but I am terrified to even tell them about him! They believe I should not date at all until the kids are 18 and if I do it should be a man with no kids. Sorry so long! My question is :when to introduce the potential man to the fam? It's my birthday next weekend and I was thinking about then....



EDIT- we have met a few times and have talked on the phone every day for the last couple of months

EDIT 2- I've made some horrible choices in men in the past. I'd like him to meet my folks early on so they can slap some sense into me if I'm making a giant butt mistake. I don't have close girlfriends or people I really trust their opinions other then my parents. I'm lame I know.

Replies

  • LifeCafe42
    February 15, 2013 at 11:16 AM
    Like introducing to your kids I'd wait until you are serious before introducing to your parents
  • sarahmiamaria
    February 15, 2013 at 11:20 AM
    The thing is if they don't get along (parents AND kids) then I wouldn't date him. Bit of a catch 22. I don't want to fall for a guy then have my kids or family hate him...


    Quoting LifeCafe42:

    Like introducing to your kids I'd wait until you are serious before introducing to your parents

  • Robsessed98
    February 15, 2013 at 11:53 AM
    I don't think you should even consider introducing him to the family, especially the kids, until you first of all find out if he's for real since you haven't even met him yet (theyre always at least a little different in person) and then wait until you're sure the relationship may work out.
  • sarahmiamaria
    February 15, 2013 at 11:56 AM
    I should clarify, we have met in person 4 times and talk on the phone every day for the last couple months


    Quoting Robsessed98:

    I don't think you should even consider introducing him to the family, especially the kids, until you first of all find out if he's for real since you haven't even met him yet (theyre always at least a little different in person) and then wait until you're sure the relationship may work out.

  • Robsessed98
    February 15, 2013 at 1:06 PM
    Even so, I don't think it's ever a good idea to introduce a man to the family until you're serious. Parents aren't a real big deal, but kids are a different story. I didn't even think about it ever being an issue with my first dd until after she got attached to a couple of guys I knew weren't going to be permanent and then had to deal with it breaking her heart when they were gone. I was stupid and careless and she ended up damaged bc of it. You'll know when your at that point in a relationship, but don't rush it.

    Quoting sarahmiamaria:

    I should clarify, we have met in person 4 times and talk on the phone every day for the last couple months




    Quoting Robsessed98:

    I don't think you should even consider introducing him to the family, especially the kids, until you first of all find out if he's for real since you haven't even met him yet (theyre always at least a little different in person) and then wait until you're sure the relationship may work out.

  • kitty8199
    February 15, 2013 at 1:13 PM
    Don't worry about the parents. Parents can always find a reason to not like someone.

    Date him, see how YOU like him, and when they see he treats you good they'll have a better chance of liking him.

    My mom doesn't like mine, for absolutely no reason.
    She won't even give him a chance. She's mad he's flying me and Maddie to California to meet his mom when he goes on leave.
    She doesn't think that's a good idea.
    Whatever, lol.

    So give your parents time to see how good he is first.

    Meeting the family is a big deal, and will probably freak him out if done too soon.


    Quoting sarahmiamaria:

    The thing is if they don't get along (parents AND kids) then I wouldn't date him. Bit of a catch 22. I don't want to fall for a guy then have my kids or family hate him...




    Quoting LifeCafe42:

    Like introducing to your kids I'd wait until you are serious before introducing to your parents

  • easinpc
    by easinpc
    February 15, 2013 at 2:15 PM

    I would wait until you feel that the relationship is going somewhere serious and then go from there.

  • easinpc
    by easinpc
    February 15, 2013 at 2:16 PM

    I would however make sure that whenever you do decide to have him meet your parents that you give him a heads up about how they feel about you dating so that way if they jump him about it he isn't completely blindsighted.

  • Mommyto2LilMen
    February 15, 2013 at 2:19 PM
    I would wait a while and see how things go. Seems a bit soon to me. Good luck.
  • steviechick
    February 15, 2013 at 2:47 PM

    You've only been around him four times. That's not enough physical time to be around someone you want to meet the parents.  I would spend more time with him - physical time then decide if you think he should meet your mom and dad.  It's up to you to like not your mom and dad.  I would, however, have the kids meet your bf first.  They should meet him first.

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