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pianokisses
What kind of visitation schedule do you guys have...and what state?
February 11, 2013 at 8:06 PM

I originally had sat-sun  every week and we both get to see them on holidays. Now I'm going to decrease it to every other weekend and he can sort of" buy" his time back since he is only seeing them like once a month or once every two months. I think it's unfair how men can violate the order by not showing up, but the minute we don't let the kids go they try to get us in trouble. Once this is set, I'll give him like a 3 month trial and if he follows the order I will increase his time again.

But what kind of visitation schedule do you guys have and what state allows it?

I'm in NJ and I have a few friends and have been in court with fathers who get every other weekend so I'm sure it will probably be the outcome. Especially since he has been violating the order since September. It's not like I'm doing it just for the hell of it.

Replies

  • sunshine389142
    February 11, 2013 at 10:39 PM

    In indiana the state guidelines are:  Every other weekend from Friday 6pm to Sunday 6pm.  they also can get one mid-week night - generally wednesdays.  There is a holiday schedule and an extended opportunity to have half the summer.

    That being said...my ex does not take as much time as he could per guidelines.  my dd goes to her dad's every other Friday 6pm-ish and I pick her up on Sunday around noon.  He does not take any of the extended time that he could take per guidelines.  We try to make it so that she can go to all holiday events with both sides of the family, but I still end up with her for most of them.

    A part of me wishes he took all the time he could have with her, but the other part of me is glad that he doesn't.  I want my dd to have consistent time with him.  I want him to be involved and be there for her, but in a lot of ways I am scared if he actually would step up.

  • Bella14308
    February 11, 2013 at 10:50 PM
    We are in ct.

    My oldest goes to her dad eowe starting fri after work (yes thats how the order is written) til sun at 4pm. he also has tuesday over night til wed at 8 on school vacations and summer.

    My middle dds father has a visitation order of every sunday 10am-6pm. Thats it. but he hasnt seen her in 5 1/2 years so...

    My youngest dds dad has supervised in person visits twice a year and nightly video chat on skype.
  • grneyedormom
    February 11, 2013 at 10:50 PM

    We don't go by what is filed with the court anymore, since our daughter is no longer 6 months old. (That's how old she was when we divorced.) He gets every other weekend, 6 weeks in the summer, we split holidays and her birthday. And any extra time he asks for. At 10 years divorced, we're good as co-parents and we don't see the need to really follow a "set" schedule for when he should see her. He's her parent just as much as I am and deserves time with her just as much as I do. The only thing that holds him back is where he lives and the job he does right now. We're in Oregon.

  • MIMIBRIE
    February 11, 2013 at 11:22 PM
    We just do whatever works for us. He comes randomly and will take one. I wish he was more consistent though
  • mrene88
    by mrene88
    February 11, 2013 at 11:26 PM
    This! But mine is pretty consistent.

    Quoting MIMIBRIE:

    We just do whatever works for us. He comes randomly and will take one. I wish he was more consistent though
  • raegan1221
    February 11, 2013 at 11:27 PM
    Standard...1st, 3rd, 5th weekend; Tues evenings 6-8.
  • raegan1221
    February 11, 2013 at 11:28 PM
    Oh sorry. I'm in Texas.
  • faerie75
    February 12, 2013 at 1:17 AM
    You can't violate the order now. You can take him back to court though and have the visitation schedule amended
  • faerie75
    February 12, 2013 at 1:21 AM
    Oh and per court order my kids dad used to have first, third and if applicable fifth weekend a month fri 6-sun 6 and dinner visits tues and thurs. he never took the dinner visits and e ended up moving away.



    My SO gets his kids eow fri-mon and Wednesday overnight.<

    We are in Cali./span>


    Quoting sunshine389142:

    In indiana the state guidelines are:  Every other weekend from Friday 6pm to Sunday 6pm.  they also can get one mid-week night - generally wednesdays.  There is a holiday schedule and an extended opportunity to have half the summer.



    That being said...my ex does not take as much time as he could per guidelines.  my dd goes to her dad's every other Friday 6pm-ish and I pick her up on Sunday around noon.  He does not take any of the extended time that he could take per guidelines.  We try to make it so that she can go to all holiday events with both sides of the family, but I still end up with her for most of them.



    A part of me wishes he took all the time he could have with her, but the other part of me is glad that he doesn't.  I want my dd to have consistent time with him.  I want him to be involved and be there for her, but in a lot of ways I am scared if he actually would step up.

  • pianokisses
    February 12, 2013 at 2:43 AM
    I never violated it except for when he waited until a random time to ask for them and we were already out. I refuse to sit around Saturday to see if he is going to take them or not. After a certain time passes I take them to hang out since weve been at school and work all week. That's not violating because theres a time frame for them to be late.


    Quoting faerie75:

    You can't violate the order now. You can take him back to court though and have the visitation schedule amended

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