Single Moms

Kazmira222
Leaving your child with a father that knows nothing??
February 5, 2013 at 4:46 PM
How do you learn to allow yourself to give your child to his father for visitation? My sons father is most likely going to go to Parental Guidence and I'm not sure how it's gonna go or how things will happen. But I know for sure that he has no child raising experience, he lives with his mom and new gf and their house is very cluttered and dirty. Hazardous in my opinion. They don't own anything right now that could even remotely take care of the child and he thinks he can do this? I think not. I see him becoming VERY overwhelmed with him and I fear what could happen. He wouldn't hurt his son, but I really don't see how he can take care of him. He's never even changed a diaper.. My son is 6 weeks old and his father has only seen him twice. He blames me for that. I live 25 miles away, full time mom, I do online college and I work pt. His father does nothing but smoke pot all day... He says he's going to go back to school and get a job but he's been saying that for almost a year now.. I just can't get over the fact of ever leaving my son alone with him. How do you ladies do it? Is there something I should know about how child support and Parental Guidence works? I just wanna hear some similar stories about it all. It's been stressing me out a bit.

Replies

  • Mommyto2LilMen
    February 5, 2013 at 5:02 PM
    Not sure what to tell you hun. Good luck.
  • easinpc
    by easinpc
    February 5, 2013 at 5:14 PM

    Hugs!

  • faerie75
    February 5, 2013 at 5:21 PM
    As a first time parent were YOU an expert w newborns? No?

    The court will tell him he needs to get his own baby care items. But you saying he "knows nothing" will not stop him from getting rights. Now, if he shows up without a proper child safety seat you can refuse. And you aren't required to let him use yours.
  • Kazmira222
    February 5, 2013 at 6:11 PM
    He doesn't even have a license...
    And yea I believe I was much more educated cuz I baby sat a baby while I was pregnant to prepare myself. He was in and out of jail half the time. I just don't believe he has the patience and it scares me that he might lash out after becoming overwhelmed. I just found out that a friend of mines BD drop their baby due to him becoming frustrated. Now her skull is fractured but she is ok. I don't want that happening to mine.


    Quoting faerie75:

    As a first time parent were YOU an expert w newborns? No?



    The court will tell him he needs to get his own baby care items. But you saying he "knows nothing" will not stop him from getting rights. Now, if he shows up without a proper child safety seat you can refuse. And you aren't required to let him use yours.

  • faerie75
    February 5, 2013 at 6:20 PM

     not all men are goig to throw their kid on the ground because they are frustrated.

    he sounds like a real winner. if he doest follow through the court thing, you have nothing to worry about.

    he can be prohibited from driving the kid anywhere if he is not licensed and you can require he have a licensed and insured driver.

    Quoting Kazmira222:

    He doesn't even have a license...
    And yea I believe I was much more educated cuz I baby sat a baby while I was pregnant to prepare myself. He was in and out of jail half the time. I just don't believe he has the patience and it scares me that he might lash out after becoming overwhelmed. I just found out that a friend of mines BD drop their baby due to him becoming frustrated. Now her skull is fractured but she is ok. I don't want that happening to mine.


    Quoting faerie75:

    As a first time parent were YOU an expert w newborns? No?



    The court will tell him he needs to get his own baby care items. But you saying he "knows nothing" will not stop him from getting rights. Now, if he shows up without a proper child safety seat you can refuse. And you aren't required to let him use yours.

     

  • CamsMommy0731
    February 5, 2013 at 6:25 PM
    Why get with him if you don't want him around a child he created with you?
    He has rights to his son and till he messes up, I doubt that will be changing.
  • mytrueloveS
    February 5, 2013 at 6:43 PM

    As a first time parent I didn't know anything.  Kind of like your ex.  He will learn to be a father.  

  • conniejo75
    February 5, 2013 at 6:47 PM
    A lot of people aren't licensed or don't own a car. That wont prohibit visitation


    Quoting Kazmira222:

    He doesn't even have a license...

    And yea I believe I was much more educated cuz I baby sat a baby while I was pregnant to prepare myself. He was in and out of jail half the time. I just don't believe he has the patience and it scares me that he might lash out after becoming overwhelmed. I just found out that a friend of mines BD drop their baby due to him becoming frustrated. Now her skull is fractured but she is ok. I don't want that happening to mine.




    Quoting faerie75:

    As a first time parent were YOU an expert w newborns? No?





    The court will tell him he needs to get his own baby care items. But you saying he "knows nothing" will not stop him from getting rights. Now, if he shows up without a proper child safety seat you can refuse. And you aren't required to let him use yours.


  • Kazmira222
    February 5, 2013 at 8:08 PM
    Well, he was really only with me for the sex. He had 9 months to figure things out and he never did. I did it all on my own. He never even wanted to be with me.... I want him to be involved but he doesn't even try. He wants me to do it all and I can't. He won't even try to come to my place to see him. Yet it's all my fault that he doesn't see him. That's BS in my book


    Quoting CamsMommy0731:

    Why get with him if you don't want him around a child he created with you?

    He has rights to his son and till he messes up, I doubt that will be changing.

  • LifeCafe42
    February 5, 2013 at 11:23 PM
    That's his son too because if your child's age he probably won't get much visitation away from you. I learn every day about being a parent nobody knows everything

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