Single Moms

katemckenzie
Screwed for rent
February 5, 2013 at 8:05 AM

Rent is due today.

$650 by 9pm. I have $380. I don't get paid for 2 more days, and I can't be late without extensive late fees. DS's father gives my 250 in CS each month out of pocket, because FOC has been dragging their asses on processing my application for CS. This month though, he's decided he's not giving me a cent, because he suddenly "wants custody of DS." We share parenting time half and half, even though I have full custody by default. I think he just doesn't have the money and doesn't want to tell me. All of his bills are paid, but I haven't paid my electric, gas, phone, internet, etc in 5 months, since we split and he left me jobless in this overpriced apartment. I work now, but even full time, minimum wage doesn't cut it. My car doesn't have insurance or tags, and it's only a matter of time before it gets impounded. I'm so stressed out, I can't stop throwing up. 
We're going to be homeless and he acts like he doesn't even care.
He's a very good father and has always been very helpful to us, but I don't know why he's suddenly being an asswipe about it.
Any suggesstions on how to deal with this situation? 

Replies

  • andyroosmama
    February 5, 2013 at 7:54 PM

     Here's the deal, when did you apply for assistance? and on top of that, if one job minimum wage isn't cutting it, why not work at a 2nd job? DHS and the AG are overloaded with cases and you aren't at the top of their lists... you will be worked in. And yes, in an emergency situation, they only have 5 to 10 days to give you a response. I know because I have been there... I have had to work 2 jobs, put myself through college, and taken care of my kids... and now back in school as a single mom and re enrolled in school... and you need to look for something more affordable for you to live...

  • LifeCafe42
    February 5, 2013 at 11:26 PM
    Hugs I'm sorry good luck
  • Kissybratzmom
    February 5, 2013 at 11:43 PM
    Now I remember why I quit being a mod for this group. Too many bitches and trolls lurking around trying to make people feel like shit.
  • andyroosmama
    February 5, 2013 at 11:47 PM

     That wasn't my intent... I understand her predicament, though, and nobody here has the right to judge her or make her feel like crap...

    Quoting Kissybratzmom:

    Now I remember why I quit being a mod for this group. Too many bitches and trolls lurking around trying to make people feel like shit.

     

  • CHDMommy3
    February 6, 2013 at 2:18 AM

    Call landlord/rental company and explain.  Tell them you can give what you have atleast that shows you are trying to pay.

    Try preparing a budget to plan ahead and have it before you need it.  You can walk to a church, yes some with financially provide from their funds.

  • CHDMommy3
    February 6, 2013 at 2:24 AM

     I did not think you were making her feel bad just stating obvious....... always wanting to complain that your hand outs are not coming fast enough or someone else is not doing their job.  Bust your butt a bit harder to provide for yourself people.  Times are tough for all walks of life.  Be glad you can apply, I "make too much lol" to even attempt to ask for help so hmmmm guess I had to plan how I spend a bit and get another job if need to.

    Andy you were not rude at all some people just want a pitty party and all these "oh so sorry" blah blah blah strokes their party train.


    Quoting andyroosmama:

     That wasn't my intent... I understand her predicament, though, and nobody here has the right to judge her or make her feel like crap...

    Quoting Kissybratzmom:

    Now I remember why I quit being a mod for this group. Too many bitches and trolls lurking around trying to make people feel like shit.

     


     

  • idunno1234
    February 6, 2013 at 8:07 AM

    CHDMommy3: "

    "I did not think you were making her feel bad just stating obvious....... always wanting to complain that your hand outs are not coming fast enough or someone else is not doing their job. Bust your butt a bit harder to provide for yourself people. Times are tough for all walks of life. Be glad you can apply, I "make too much lol" to even attempt to ask for help so hmmmm guess I had to plan how I spend a bit and get another job if need to.

    Andy you were not rude at all some people just want a pitty party and all these "oh so sorry" blah blah blah strokes their party train."

    Wow.  How's the air up in your rarified world?  I'm a middle aged mom who made the mistake of staying home with my kids and now, when life did what life tends to do- throw curveballs-  the kids are financially dependent on me, I can't even get an interview, let alone a job.  Not at a McDonald's (overqualified), not as clerical (too much competition), not as packer (no experience and too old),  not as a waitress or retail (no prior experience, too much competition which does), not a part time teller, receptionist, HR assistant....no one wants to take a chance on me because they don't have to.

    So fuck your feeling of superiority.  A little more than a year ago, I was still living in my 5 bedroom house, had a perfect credit score, all the enthusiasm and motivation in the world for potential employers and couldn't even imagine that my kids' dad would do what he is doing now.  Three Christmases ago, I was donating presents to needy children and volunteering for the food drive.  I never would have guessed that I would be on the other side. 

    Here I sit, in a cold house with an oil tank running on fumes, can't pay rent this month and I feel nothing but despair regarding my inability to find ANY employment, let alone something that will actually support my kids in a state that is ridiculously expensive.  The attorneys have sucked me dry over these last two years of this horrific process, have left me destitute and my ex is withholding support until I agree to what he wants. 

    I am beyond grateful for whatever assistance I am getting but angry that it even has to be this way- I am college educated, computer literate, intelligent, hardworking and highly motivated......all that good stuff but it isn't enough when you are 52 and have a huge gap on your resume that others applying for the same position don't have.  My ex is a sociopathic alcoholic/addict who has been allowed to use the NJ court system to lead the judges, attorneys, my kids and myself around by our noses for these last two years, while draining my bank account.

    You are right, feeling sorry for oneself is never useful and usually detrimental and I have learned that I cannot depend on anyone but myself but unfortunately, potential employers don't give a damn, because there are far too many qualified people to choose from. 

    Poverty sucks.  Its scary, all the time scary.  Not knowing where you are going to end up, are my kids going to have to change schools for the 2nd time in two years, do we have to give up our pets we have had for years, all their material possessions which don't fit into a garbage bag?  You ever go to into the SNAP office or housing or assistance and look at the faces around you?  Really look?  Do you see any smugness, sense of superiority, any sense of peace?  I see fatigue, fear, shame and wariness. 

    So good for you that you think its all so easy as to just work harder, get another job, find a cheaper place, cut back even more.  Buck up all us moochers out there.  We just aren't measuring up and people making us feel even shittier about ourselves are just doing their job in pointing out how it is our inferiority which got us here to begin with.

    I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy but I have to admit that I would have a great feeling of satisfaction to put you in my life for a while.  You would be ashamed of yourself.  If you have, by any chance been at the "bottom" of society and been able to climb out of poverty, then give a helping hand to others who want to help themselves but can't find a way.  If you've never been where I am, count your blessings, open your eyes and your heart and have compassion instead of judgement.

  • josiahmom
    February 6, 2013 at 9:49 AM

    gl

Single Moms