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idunno1234
A Single Mom's Rap
February 1, 2013 at 10:15 AM

Quick recap of the last decade of my life:

Married for 30 years, dude starting drinking heavily when pregnant with my fourth 11 years ago and my life has spiraled downward ever since. I have been going through a two year divorce process, had the proceeds from the house I was forced to sell decimated by attorneys and the monstrous Divorce Machine, as well as having to be the sole payer of my kids' living expenses because my not quite yet ex is a sociopathic addict who is leading the judge, the attorneys and me and my kids around by our noses.

I am now utterly destitute, no interim support payments have been put in place and am now facing homelessness. I have to keep the heat on 55 degrees and am considering lowering it because the $700 in heating assistance (which I am extremely grateful for, btw) filled only a 1/4 tank and its been COLD outside.

The thing is, as grateful for it as I was at the time (although by the fourth child it was admittedly wearing a bit thin), I made the mistake of staying at home with my kids. My plan was to go back to work when my youngest was in school full time. My ex was drinking heavily, the kids couldn't be left home alone with him and I needed a job with flexible hours so I got my real estate license. I knew it would be hard but I didn't have the time I thought I would have to build my business because circumstances necessitated having to file for a divorce. So...I left real estate and have been floundering ever since.

I have been slapped by the reality of a really mean job market, especially for a 52 year old woman who has a huge gap in work history. Ageism exist but beyond that, employers have so many well qualified people to choose from that I can't even begin to compete. I don't have a particular career focus- I held a variety of very different jobs before having children- and although I have relevant computer skills, I am a hard worker, highly motivated, eager to learn and all that good stuff- my resume just doesn't cut it.

Because of this, I made a rap. This was out of sheer desperation. I don't know why I got this idea- I don't particularly enjoy rap and I am not a natural born performer (which is painfully obvious if you watch this video, lol) but I have been told over and over again that getting a job these days is about who you know so this idea popped into my brain, took hold and wouldn't let go, much to the horror of several of my children. For several weeks, the response exceeded my expectations- over 800 views, all positive.  Then it was found, held up for ridicule at some of the sites that exist for this purpose, and tainted.  Video game addicted young men who inhabit these sites are not exactly the demographic I am looking for and they made it very clear with Thumbs Down and their articulate (sarcasm) commentary.  Please let me know what YOU, the people who may have some inkling of what I am going through, think:

Replies

  • proudmother5946
    February 1, 2013 at 1:46 PM
    I loved it!!!
  • idunno1234
    February 1, 2013 at 1:58 PM

    Thank you SO much!  I know its a bit rough but its truly from the heart.  Unfortunately, I'm still jobless and I'm thinking that no employer is going to look at this rap and think that they want to hire a bad rapper who admits to having out of date skills but I am seriously all out of options.

    I really appreciate you taking the time.

  • proudmother5946
    February 1, 2013 at 2:18 PM
    Have you thought about taking some courses to get your skills up to date? You would probably qualify for financial aid, pell grants etc. Also if you could get some part time work or go through a temporary service? Sometimes that will lead to full time work.
    I went back to school at age 48 and ended up getting two part time positions. Weekends at a hospital and weekdays at a non profit.
  • amonkeymom
    February 1, 2013 at 2:35 PM

    Welcome to the group.  I'm sorry your family is going through all of that.

  • brieri
    by brieri
    February 1, 2013 at 6:24 PM

     Hi and welcome to the group.

    I do hear that one must hit rock bottom before grasping to the top again.  Good luck in your endeavors.

  • eviesmom453
    February 1, 2013 at 6:28 PM

    Your DD is darling. I hope things get better for you.

  • idunno1234
    February 1, 2013 at 7:29 PM

    I have am proficient at the computer and Word and Excel, although admittedly not an expert.  I just missed a 3 month, full time course which I may have been eligible to receive a grant for and would have made me an expert but I will have to wait until May, for the next opportunity.  My skills really aren't that out of date but my work history is and my resume just can't compete with the multitude of highly qualified, younger, unemployed people out there who are competing for the same jobs. 

    I don't want taxpayers supporting me and I don't want to depend on my sociopathic addict of an ex for support.  I just want a job where I can be a true asset for my employer and I can support my family.  Seemingly simple, yet seemingly impossible at the same time.  I am trying to keep up a positive attitude but I have to admit its really, really hard.

    Even temp agencies, which I have applied to several, are picky about who they choose and these days I am definitely not at the top of their lists.

  • MaddieLainesMom
    February 1, 2013 at 8:47 PM

    I loved the rap! It was so heart felt and tells the story of being a single mom that others try not to say. I think I myself try to play the self-empowering, I can do this side of single motherhood more often than I admit I need help or that I am struggling. We've been really fortunate financially and have made it by comfortably since I work in the entertainment industry and have been paid well. Although, now with my steady tour job gone I worry and I definitely worry about the future after I've hit my prime as a dancer what I will do. Thanks for sharing the rap and speaking out. You, my friend, are awesome!

  • LifeCafe42
    February 1, 2013 at 11:49 PM
    Welcome!
  • NC_Mom_06
    July 10, 2013 at 12:03 PM

     Wow this is touching. Sorry you are going through this.

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