Single Moms

aniyahsmommy11
Can anyone relate?
January 23, 2013 at 3:02 PM

Ok I know I am most likely about to catch shit for this and have women telling me how lazy i am wha not. But before i go on, let me just give some info on myself. I had a condition called spondilesthesis where a vertebrae becomes dislodged and breaks off. The way to correct it when its severe is surgery, by fusing metal bracketts and nails around the 2 fused together vertebrae. I had that done when i was 16. However it was broken long enough to give me alot of nerve and muscle damage and as you know lower back issues can lead to leg problems too. So over the years I developed a terrible chronic nerve pain issue in my whole entire back and neck, plus now i have rheumatoid arthritis in ym hips and legs. To anyone unfamiliar with that specific kind of arthritis it is HELL. it exhausts the person with it, it makes my hips and legs feel like they are on fire sometimes, and there are days like today and every day this week so far where i can barely get out of bed it hurts so bad. I cry so much because it feels like someone lit my body on fire and is taking tiny corkscrews and sticking thema ll over my lower body and stabbing my back with hot knives. So obviously i cant work for now. I cant sit or stand for long periods of times and being on my feet for a while is torture. So i am on cash assitance and foodstamps. As some of you may know i am in school however and I plan on going back after i graduate with my associates to get my BA to teach. By then I am hoping i would have gotten my condition under control. I aim to become  a teachers aide once i graduate but i have another 6 mos to a year possibly until i get my associates so I have time. I have just had a run in with a new caseworker who treated me like I am the scum of the earth, he interuptted me while i was trying to talk, and brought me to tears with how he yelled at me. But when i fought back he had the nerve to say "Ma'am this is your first warning I will terminate this call if you do not stop talking to me that way. I will not tolerate you raising your voice" but he wouldnt let me talk. he literally would not shut up and stop interuptting me. Now my old caseworker was a very sweet helpful kind understanding woman. But thena gain she was almost a welfare recipient to and those are usually the best case workers who have been on the other side of the desk before being in their position. I didnt no it was going to take so long to get my records transfered and the last doctor didnt even fillout the form and send it the way she was suppose to it sat on her desk and now im no longer her patient. but that doesnt matter. only my old caseworker didnt blame me. I was told to go to job training as a formality until i can get the form filled. well i had to quit goiung before the appointment because of how bad it got. well today i got terminated from job training and my new case worker gave me a call and thats when he talked to me the way i just described. I am so sick to death of being on welfare being subjected to bad treatment like im not going no where in life like i ENJOY relying on the governement. It breaks my heart I have to go through this. I miss working so severely I cry myself to sleep and I just lose hope. I'm actually crying as I write this because i feel so hopeless and upset that I will never ever get to a point where i am healthy enough to work. does anyone relate in any way at all? even if youre on a type of assitance and youre just fed up being on it or anything similar? I feel like if i dont talk to someone who has been even close to where I am im going to just give up. I feel so alone :/

Replies

  • easinpc
    by easinpc
    January 23, 2013 at 3:18 PM

    Hugs!!

  • MeeshMom
    January 23, 2013 at 3:24 PM
    I'm sorry. Are you being treated for the rheumatoid arthritis? Steroids? What type of doctor do you see? I have an illness that requires steroids daily as well. Hopefully your doctor can improve your treatment or you can get a second opinion. That's hard. Those are legitimate reasons to not be working. And some of those caseworkers are morons. Don't mind them. You do what you have to do. I hope you can get some relief.
  • 40sandPreg
    January 23, 2013 at 6:48 PM
    Have you tried filing for disability?
  • aniyahsmommy11
    January 23, 2013 at 7:44 PM


    Thank you :/ and no im not as of yet, so far they have been giving me a strong muscle relaxer and it helps a little bit most of the time. steriods did not help at all it just made my legs swell. i really hope tommorow he gives me something helpful because school starts back from my one week break and i do not want a repeat of this past course block of me being in so much pain i dont do any work at all i just go to bed. And thank you, I hate being made to feel like i am just making excuses when id give anything to be able to work and get off government assitance. Its hard when you get idiots like him who act like theyve never had a hard time in their lives and look down on single mothers where the dad wants nothing to do with the child or the mother and cant be bothered to help, we do what we can to make sure our children are provided for and if that means beiing on so caleld welfare then fine. thank you for the support :) you dont know how much better it makes me feel to be able to talk to someone about it who is not judging me

    Quoting MeeshMom:

    I'm sorry. Are you being treated for the rheumatoid arthritis? Steroids? What type of doctor do you see? I have an illness that requires steroids daily as well. Hopefully your doctor can improve your treatment or you can get a second opinion. That's hard. Those are legitimate reasons to not be working. And some of those caseworkers are morons. Don't mind them. You do what you have to do. I hope you can get some relief.



  • aniyahsmommy11
    January 23, 2013 at 7:45 PM

    Not lately no, but the last time I did I got denied. However tha was before I had my child. I actually hadnt thought of reapplying. I know they need proof of injuries ands tuff and since I do not have any broken bones and I am mentally sound i do not know if they will consider my conditions bad enough that I can not work. However since you have mentioned it I feel like it is worth a try and I have nothing to lose by it since they can only say no. 


    Quoting 40sandPreg:

    Have you tried filing for disability?



  • conniejo75
    January 23, 2013 at 7:51 PM
    A lot of people get denied a few times before its approved. Try again if it is impossible for you to work.


    Quoting aniyahsmommy11:

    Not lately no, but the last time I did I got denied. However tha was before I had my child. I actually hadnt thought of reapplying. I know they need proof of injuries ands tuff and since I do not have any broken bones and I am mentally sound i do not know if they will consider my conditions bad enough that I can not work. However since you have mentioned it I feel like it is worth a try and I have nothing to lose by it since they can only say no. 



    Quoting 40sandPreg:

    Have you tried filing for disability?





  • 40sandPreg
    January 23, 2013 at 7:57 PM
    If you get denied again take the denial to a disability attorney.

    They are only paid if & when you win your appeal & its only 25% of the back pay.

    With your medical condition I'd try that.

    Its $ coming every month. Takes awhile but if you get it no more PA people bugging you.


    Quoting aniyahsmommy11:

    Not lately no, but the last time I did I got denied. However tha was before I had my child. I actually hadnt thought of reapplying. I know they need proof of injuries ands tuff and since I do not have any broken bones and I am mentally sound i do not know if they will consider my conditions bad enough that I can not work. However since you have mentioned it I feel like it is worth a try and I have nothing to lose by it since they can only say no. 



    Quoting 40sandPreg:

    Have you tried filing for disability?





  • MeeshMom
    January 23, 2013 at 9:05 PM
    Steroids only make you swell if you eat too much sodium in your diet. What steroids do is cause your body to retain sodium and lose potassium. So you have to adjust your diet. Increase potassium intake (bananas, almonds, etc) and decrease salt intake. No chips, no adding salt. I researched this when my doctor finally diagnosed me with an autoimmune disease and I had to take steroids. Doctors don't tell you this because all they're trained to do is prescribe drugs. Nutrition helps heal the body and improves the medical condition. I was also told by a doctor friend that people with autoimmune disease can benefit from a low glycemic diet kinda like a diabetic diet. Diet change will bring you relief. I say see a nutritionist if you can. You can also google salt substitutes and low glycemic foods. i also eat a lot if vegetables. I don't swell ever. I weigh 122 and I'm healthy. Autoimmune disease sucks but it can be managed.
  • Robsessed98
    January 23, 2013 at 10:29 PM

    About 15 years ago, I had to quit working for a while because of fibromyalgia, so I know exactly what it's like to cry myself to sleep every night and get very depressed. I felt worthless and believed my life was basically over. I never knew such darkness and despair even existed. I also dealt with a few people that looked down on and judge me because they thought I was just lazy and didn't care. One day I finally realized I was letting my illness control and destroy my whole life and that giving up or giving in should never be an option. I also realized what other people think of me doesn't matter. As long as I know the truth and am ok with it, screw them if they don't like it. It was hard and very challenging, but thanks to my determination, God, my dr and several resources for people with my illness, I wound up with more inner strength than I ever imagined possible and am mentally and emotionally healthier than I ever was before I got sick. I'll always have my illness, battle alot of pain and I'm always having to work hard to keep going physicalloy, but overall I'm a better person in spite of it.

    Stay focused and refuse to let yourself give up. Finish school and look forward to the day you'll be able to become a teacher.

  • massconfusion14
    January 23, 2013 at 10:35 PM

    I was on foodstamps and welfare and they gave me crap because I was 8 months pregnant and even though I went on interviews every other day, noone would hire me because I was due in 1 month. You should ask to speak with a supervisor about the way the man talked to you. As far as your back, have you tried seeing a chiropractor? They work miracles.. such as 8 months ago I couldn't sleep because my back was hurting so bad and now the only pain I feel is in my shoulder.

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