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almost single
January 23, 2013 at 2:16 AM

My dd is 4 months. I am getting a divorse for her safety. I was actually told to leave the state by officials. So... I am technically still married, though not for long, and I am here alone with my daughter. I am terrified by the single mom life. It's overwhelming! Any tips are appreciated!


  • MamaHens3
    January 23, 2013 at 2:48 AM

    First off welcome, and I'm glad your getting away from your soon X since sounds like its the best. 

    It can be scary to be alone, not going to lie but with a good support system. It gets easier, doing what you got to o for your child(ren). Is what you got to do, I know when I became a divorcee with three children. I felt last, I was married 8 yrs together for 9 to a man who turned my life upside down. I pulled myself together, picked up the pieces and being a single parent became something normal to me. 

    It can be overwhelming, you are right yet at the end of the day. When they show you they live you your child, rather a little smile or wanting to cuddle with you wanting you. Since they know your there for them, to ake care of them it's worth it. 

  • Ridingsolo
    January 23, 2013 at 6:08 AM

    I'm sure you were already informed of this, but don't let your husband take your daughter for any visits without you there.  Until you have a court order, he could take her and not return her, and there is nothing you could do. 

  • breebree04
    January 23, 2013 at 10:50 AM

    Im sorry you are going through this. Being a single mom is hard but you can do it. We all manage it somehow, you just have to take one step at a time. Do you have family support or friends to help you out when needed?

  • easinpc
    by easinpc
    January 23, 2013 at 11:44 AM


  • crzctl8de
    January 23, 2013 at 3:01 PM

    First and foremost...breathe. I know that sounds trite, but many of us forget it from time to time.  Everyone of us handles it in a different way.  

  • themrsrick
    January 29, 2013 at 2:58 AM
    Thank you all for your replies! I'm still figuring out how to use cafemom, so I just saw them today. I appreciate each one of you!
  • jessicasmom1
    January 29, 2013 at 7:33 AM

    Breath , slow down everything will work out I became a single Mom when DD was 14 months old my husband passed away so I was forced to be that single mom, times get hectic but always understand you are only one person and taking care of your DD will be so rewarding as she grows.  You will be her mom/dad at times always put your daughters thoughts before your actions. 

  • themrsrick
    February 5, 2013 at 12:09 AM
    There is just so much to think about! My blog can share more insight bit feel free to reply here.
  • victoriahearts
    February 5, 2013 at 10:22 AM

    Welcome to the group and you did the right thing, remember that as long as you do what is right for your child and yourself you will never regret it. If you left because your husband was abusive, I would start with getting a RO first and then moving quickly to get a divorce and get custody of your child. Consult an attorney and get some advice , the quicker you can put this stuff behind you the better, being a single mother is hard but as long as you find some support , cut yourself some slack and keep in mind what is best for you and your child you will be fine. 

  • steviechick
    February 5, 2013 at 10:32 AM

    Hello and welcome to the group.  Getting away from an abusive relationship is the first and best step to make.  Just know you did the right thing.  Being alone is scary.  But, you aren't really alone.  You have your child.  You just aren't with your stbx anymore.  If you feel you  need an RO get one ASAP.  File divorce papers on your stbx ASAP.  Get the cs in order and get those payments set up.  That way you have some financial support.  Do you have any friends you can talk to?  What about staying with family until you get your feet on the ground and a permanant home for you and your child.  Once you file that paperwork for divorce you will start to feel some relief.  You have a good life ahead and a child to make your life great.

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