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So the guy I'm kinda dating has told me that my son is "spoiled rotten" a few times. He has a little girl who is about a year younger than my son. I almost feel like he compares our kids and that's how he's coming to that conclusion. But the truth of the matter is that their situations are NOTHING alike. In fact, her situation is tons better in my opinion. I'll give a couple examples of when he's said it and my argument against it.
Replies
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it isn't his place to say that your child is spoiled. I have a situation pretty similar. My DD goes to her grandmas all the time and has a ton of toys there so she doesn't have as many toys here but DS has alot of toys here bc he goes nowhere else. (they have different dads)
I have had people tell me my kids are spoiled they are not. I'm a single mom too so I know how it is.
If you really want to be with the guy just tell him look my child is mine not yours let me raise him how I see fit. If he doesn't like it he obviously isn't ready to be in a relationship with a strong determined single mom such as you. -
No, you have every right to be offended! It sounds like you're doing an amazing job raising your son and he has no right to judge what he doesn't know about! -
I do like him. But between that and other issues we've had recently, I think I'm done. I think it's time to move on. I need someone who is considerate of my feelings and understanding of my situation.
Quoting LizzyPookey1248:
it isn't his place to say that your child is spoiled. I have a situation pretty similar. My DD goes to her grandmas all the time and has a ton of toys there so she doesn't have as many toys here but DS has alot of toys here bc he goes nowhere else. (they have different dads)
I have had people tell me my kids are spoiled they are not. I'm a single mom too so I know how it is.
If you really want to be with the guy just tell him look my child is mine not yours let me raise him how I see fit. If he doesn't like it he obviously isn't ready to be in a relationship with a strong determined single mom such as you. -
Thank you! I totally agree!
Quoting May-mom:
No, you have every right to be offended! It sounds like you're doing an amazing job raising your son and he has no right to judge what he doesn't know about! -
You have every right to be offended, and he has every right to speak his opinion about your child. If you don't like it, sounds like it's time to cut the douchebag off.
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Hi there. My friend and I were just talking about this sort of thing tonight, how people can really insult a single mom by making comments like these because we as the single moms are the only ones really raising our kids! Sometimes these comments can seem critical of us, in particular, and when these comments come from the fathers, who come into the kids' lives for short visits, it's even more maddening. I asked my husband to leave the house this past October, in part because he was overly critical / hard on my kids (we have 2 together) and tended to indulge his own kids. He always had LOTS to say about my kids and how I had raised them, but when it came to his own kids, they could do no wrong, and were never disciplined. When I read your post, I thought, "uh oh, it will only get worse" because if he's making comments now, just wait until he one day lives under the same roof as your son. In my experience, it seemed that my husband always had something to pick on my daughter about, until I had to make a decision: either put her self-esteem at risk for the sake of a relationship with an arrogant jerk, or show her that she was important and not all the things he was complaining she was. I think you are making the right decision to end it now. You don't want someone picking on you and your son's behaviour, especially when they have not seen how you actually parent. It could really end up hurting your son. What I learned about step parents is, noone is going to love your child like you do, and if they do, they are rare. Hold out for the rare one who does love and respect both you and your child.
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It's time to move on. I would never date someone who calls my child names and questions my parenting. I actually broke up with someone for that. -
Time to dump him and move on. -
HELL NO!!!!!!! (excuse my language) He is probably trying to make you feel bad because you have stuff that he can't get for his daughter. If he can't accept a healthy positive relationship between you and your son then he has a really big problem. Hats off to you for doing your thang without much help and ain't nothing wrong with your baby getting toys that belong to someone else as long as he is happy with what he has it doesn't matter where it came from. You are a GREAT mom!!!!!!!!!!
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By the way your kids are not spoiled....they are blessed or lucky if you are not religious to have someone that LOVES their children
Quoting LizzyPookey1248:
it isn't his place to say that your child is spoiled. I have a situation pretty similar. My DD goes to her grandmas all the time and has a ton of toys there so she doesn't have as many toys here but DS has alot of toys here bc he goes nowhere else. (they have different dads)
I have had people tell me my kids are spoiled they are not. I'm a single mom too so I know how it is.
If you really want to be with the guy just tell him look my child is mine not yours let me raise him how I see fit. If he doesn't like it he obviously isn't ready to be in a relationship with a strong determined single mom such as you.