so lets see if I can make this long story short enough to keep u reading, i was married for 15 years (19 to 34) have 3 boys (16, 11 year old twins) my EX cheating on me for 3 years and after counseling and trying to work it out i left when i found out he continued to see her. I did however, have a moment of craziness, when after verbal confrontation with "the girlfriend"over the 3 years, went to her house and had a physical altercation with her. (I admit not my finest moment) that same day, I left him for good and have never looked back since, I have since forgiven my EX for cheating on me, and realized we met when we were very young (13 years old) and I grew out of love with him. I have since met a wonderful man who is kind and loving and VERY patience with all my insecurites with trust. He loves my boys as if they were his own.....OKAY here is the crazy part, my EX is so ridiculiously mean and rude to me even though I am so nice to him and willing to always put the kids first before myself, I even went as far as apoligizing to the same, that's right he is still with "the girlfriend" and wishing them sincere happiness and no ill will. but no he cant move on...I dont want anything from him we dont exchange money support either way. we share custody of the boys, all i want is for him, for lack of a better word, to stop being a jerk to me, and making the kids feel awkward at the boys baseball games, football games. it is gotten so bad that my boyfriend just doesnt even go out of respect for the kids, because we see how nervous they get when we are all in the same area. i feel like we bend over backwards to make him comfortable and all he does is act like a child. My older son is taking it the worst, my son wants to be a fireman and my bf happens to be one, so they have bonded over that, but my son hides it from his dad becuase he is afraid he will get mad. enough is enough and i dont know how to handle it without getting anger myself. please help with some suggestions??
Best suggestion is STOP making it so easy for him, you done your part for what seem like a very long time to make him feel comfortable and even went to the point of forgiving him and apologizing if he can't see you are willing to put it all to bed for the sake of your kids, he is a giant ass that doesn't deserve everything you have given him so far. Have a firm conversation and tell him that the buck has finally stop , if you don't he will just continue to take advantage of you and the situation. Tell him how his actions are affecting his boys and hopefully he will come around if he can't, then I would suggest that you tell him he can only see his boys on the days he has visitation, this way you can actually get to enjoy your boys games and they aren't embarrassed or worried about the situation he may create.