Single Moms

victoriahearts
The Strange New Ways of my EX
January 11, 2013 at 10:31 AM

So over the last few months my ex has made some changes that have left me pretty shocked. My ex would see our son a few times a year ( probably 3 or 4 times) and now he is seeing him every day. After I asked for a divorce he moved to an apartment in the building across the street from ours but didnt' spend much time there due to work but now he been making it a point to walk our son to school every morning and even come over a few times a week for dinner and will take turns taking our son to his weekend activities, it's starting to feel like a routine, a good routine. It's wonderful to see them together so often now, my ex is also attending most of my prenatal visits with me and has helped me start to put together the nursery for the twins. Things  have been remarkable well, he has step up as a father to our son and future children, he has even been a supportive "partner" during my pregnancy so far, so why I am waiting for the shoe to drop ?


He asked me this week if he should also setup a nursery for the twins as his apartment and if I would consider putting a day bed in my nursery so that he can stay overnight a few days the first few weeks they are home. I feel like we made so much progress in the last few weeks and I'm trying to enjoy how easy thing have been as well but the realistic side of me is telling me to wait for the other shoe to drop. Should I just focus on now or  try to prepare myself for the what if's ?

Replies

  • mytrueloveS
    January 11, 2013 at 10:53 AM

    I wouldn't put so much thought on how the ex is behaving.  It's great that he is being more involved, hopefully it stays that way.  if it doesn't, at least you won't end up disappointed, and you know you gave it your best to help him see his kids.  

  • arkmomma06
    January 11, 2013 at 11:10 AM
    Hope it continues to go well.
  • aahudson
    January 11, 2013 at 11:13 AM

    Sounds to me like he is working to repair not only his relationship with his children but with you as well. 

  • abusednotbroken
    January 11, 2013 at 1:36 PM

    I don't want to cause you doubt, but there is a reason you're not together, there is a reason you don't feel okay with it. I would be cautious. What major changes in his life could change his behavior? I mean to say, did he have some sort of an epiphone?


    And I'm not saying to pull away or do anything different right now, but just be cautious with him. Give it more time.

  • faerie75
    January 11, 2013 at 2:47 PM

     i think you should take it one day at a time. i know that is hard.

  • Mommyto2LilMen
    January 11, 2013 at 3:08 PM

    Hope it keeps going well...good luck

  • victoriahearts
    January 11, 2013 at 3:53 PM

    We divorced because of his dedication to work, he was barely home to be a father or husband and after years of that I got tired of waiting. What can mess up his behavior is work again, right now he is choosing to be here, and keep his home base for work in NY but I know if he is pushed hard enough he will pick up and leave to go where the action is. He has promised me that this will not be the case, that he is too old and has had his success now it's time to give other time to shine, I hope for our children sake that is true but you are right I am being very cautious.

    Quoting abusednotbroken:

    I don't want to cause you doubt, but there is a reason you're not together, there is a reason you don't feel okay with it. I would be cautious. What major changes in his life could change his behavior? I mean to say, did he have some sort of an epiphone?


    And I'm not saying to pull away or do anything different right now, but just be cautious with him. Give it more time.


  • steviechick
    January 11, 2013 at 3:53 PM


    Quoting faerie75:

     i think you should take it one day at a time. i know that is hard.


    ^This.  I also think you and your ex broke up because you just can't be a couple.  If he lives not too far away let him come over anytime he wants when the twins are born.  Don't open yourself up for him to more or less move in.  Big mistake in my book.

  • victoriahearts
    January 11, 2013 at 3:55 PM

    Yeah I know and I'm doing my best to judge him by his actions now and not the past but it can be difficult. 

    Quoting aahudson:

    Sounds to me like he is working to repair not only his relationship with his children but with you as well. 


  • skyelyns_mommie
    January 11, 2013 at 3:57 PM
    Don't know but my advice trust your gut and I hope it works out for you I really do

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