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Anyone knowledgable about divorce proceedings? PIOG
January 3, 2013 at 1:11 PM

My brother-in-law (48) is one of the sweetest men that I know. Too sweet actually, and he gets walked all over. He was married to a woman for 17 years, she cheated on him a few years ago and she filed for divorce. He ended up giving her everything she asked for, including $700 month for child support for their 15-year-old and continuing to pay for their mortgage.

He moved to a different state 5 years ago, to be closer to us because he couldn't afford to live on his own after that divorce. While he was living with us he met another woman, "H", online and even though everyone in our family thought she was a rude and disrespectful woman, he ended up marrying her. This was 4 years ago. He was "in love" and just thought that we all misunderstood this crazy woman. She has a daughter who will be 18 at the end of this month. brother-in-law and H haven't really got along at all since they got married, mostly because she's not nice to him at all. She's lazy, won't work, while he worked 3 jobs almost their entire marriage.

Tonight my brother-in-law was served papers. Not just divorce papers, a restraining order as well. H filed paperwork to keep my brother-in-law away from her as well as her 17-year-old daughter, who my brother-in-law is very close to. The daughter texts and phones him all the time and talks to him more than her own mother, who she never really got along with. The daughters real father isn't in the picture and she has called my brother-in-law "Dad" for the past 3 years. H is also claiming that my brother-in-law didn't want her to work while they were married, so she's asking for $1,500 a month in alimony. He works 2 jobs right now but his take home is only about $2300.

H's family thinks she's crazy. Legitimately. They all love my brother-in-law and in fact he is living in a trailer on the property of one of H's brothers. H is one of four children and is the only one who wasn't given direct access to an inheritance that was left to the kids after their mother died. One of H's brothers has control of her inheritance money and gives her a set amount every month. One of her family members thinks that she has been going to a women's shelter and telling them that she's in an abusive marriage, to get help with the divorce papers and the restraining order. This is her third marriage and she was supposedly abused by the first two men. The last one she divorced and got $20,000 from him as part of the divorce settlement. She's an evil vindictive person. H listed her brothers wife as the only person who could "mediate" between my brother-in-law and H and her daughter, in regards to the restraining order. The brothers wife thinks she's crazy and called the daughter to let her know what was happening, and to let her know that if she texts her dad, my brother-in-law, then he can't answer her. The daughter started crying hysterically and then H was in the background yelling at her, saying that she shouldn't care about her dad any more because he was no longer going to be in their lives.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any experience with alimony and/or restraining orders. Do you think that someone would be able to get $1,500 a month for alimony if the other person only makes $2,300 and they were only married for 4 years? The alimony request is for two years also. They don't have any kids together and live in an apartment. We are also in Oregon, if that matters.

Thank you for any help/advice...


  • Jenniferlea78
    January 6, 2013 at 11:54 AM
    .. I think that IF this is the way things r done in Oregon, then your brother n law shoukd at least go to the final hearing so that the judge and the courts know tgat he si a sane individual. I think it's pointless for an individuak to tryt Ii fight the idea of someone NOT wanting ti be around them. .but he ciuld at least let the judge know that they woman who filed the order is taking advantage of the system. I tthink it's VERY important for him to make the court aware of her 2 previous relationships where she apparentky has done the same thing . I think your brother in law should also do a search of her past t ok see what other cases she has going on or what she's had in the past, if anything, so u can have the case numbers for the judge. If I were your brother I would tell tje courts that u only showed up so the courts would recognize AND make NOTE of your feekings on the situation. 1-he doesn't want to be around her either, so he isnt fighting the order when SHE is concerned 2- Address the issue regarding her Daughter- maybe she is old enough to speak for herself 3- make court aware of her PREVIOUS partners she's done this to. 4-maybe address his cobcerns about what this may do to his reputation.... ........

    As far as the other stuff goes....I think he should go t ok the courthouse and file a FINANCIAL affidavit or a DRA which is a domestic relations affidavit w the child support office and see about having his child support lowered due ti his situation. I have Never gotten a penny fron my ex and hace seen sone crazy stuff filed from hin gettibg his support order modified. He never even uses an attorney...tour brother can di this himself- just some reading and the forms h e needs will all be in the law library which should be in the local courthouse. I hope this helps some. Sorry about the typing. He definitely NEEDS ti fight this though.

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