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Really need encouragement
January 3, 2013 at 2:47 AM

I'm 20 years old. I had my twin daughters when I was 18. They are 16 months old now. Their dad was my first love, only guy I ever slept with, but he left me shortly after I told him I was pregnant. He was in and out of our daughters lives, we had (and actually are still in) a pretty ugly custody battle. He has supervised visits only right now, but over the past couple months he has begun to be more responsible about his visits. WELL one night he came over to help me with our daughters since they were sick.....we ended up staying up and talking and we decided we both wanted to try to work things out. Well....I ended up pregnant a couple days later. I know how stupid this was, but it happened and there's nothing I can do now. We are not doing the best as a couple, and I am sure I know that this will turn out the same way it did last time with him leaving sooner rather than later....I am preparing myself to be a single mother of three. My daughters will be two years old when the new baby is born. I'm terrified. Mostly for the financial reasons and the toll it will have on my family with me being a single mom to three kids under the age of three before my 21st birthday. A few of my friends know, and they haven't been supportive at all. I am terrified to tell my family as I know they will probably hate me for being so stupid. I know I have options, but I am really leaning away from abortion....I just couldn't imagine life without my daughters so it makes me think more.....and adoption, especially after keeping my daughters, I just couldn't imagine.


  • Cenedra64
    January 3, 2013 at 5:57 AM
    I think youve made up your mind what to do already. But this guy obviously is not gonna be one to commit to a rationship. Seems he wants his fun without responsibility but will do whats legally required not to get in trouble. Theres good and bad on both sides of the coin to having children older and younger. Unlike me youre younger and will have grown kids sooner. I started in my 30s. Ill be over50 when my kids graduate. But i
  • kkat117
    by kkat117
    January 3, 2013 at 7:21 AM
    I only have one daughter ...i was 21 no car, no job and no money...I still have no money but my dad helps me out a lot. I am sure your family will be a little upset, but hopefully they will help you out...and who can really be upset about a bababy for long? :)
  • meranda20
    January 3, 2013 at 8:33 AM

    You can do it! It's going to be hard of course, you are not stupid everybody screws up. i'm 21 an I have two kids. they are ages 1 and 3 so if you do the math i had 1 when I was 18 and 1 when I was 20 and they are both girls.It's really hard being a single mom, they have different dads an neither do anything for them so I'm pretty positive my baby making days are over. Lol! But anyway i'm trying to enroll into school right now, I know it's going to be tough trying to raise kids, work and go to school but I believe I can do it! Just keep your head up, raise your kids to be strong and these no good dads are going to wish they were more active with your kids.

  • Mommyto2LilMen
    January 3, 2013 at 8:39 AM
  • victoriahearts
    January 3, 2013 at 11:03 AM

    From the sound of your post you have decide to keep the child you are carrying, so now it's about making decisions and plans that will help you put yourself in a better place. So take some time for yourself and take everything you have experienced over the past few years and decide how things will work better for you and your children, what would be the ideal situation and then find a way to put in place. If you need family support to make the plan work, make sure you sit down with your family and tell them about the current situation and what your plans are, this way have time to get  use to the idea but also know that you are aware of your situation and you have plan to make things work with their help. The second thing to do is sit down and have a serious conversation with the children father about what your fears are, what you expect him to do and not do, how he has to take responsibility. You may find that being together is not going to work but maybe he will agree to a parenting relationship with you and one that provides you with some type of financial support and emotional and physical support for his children. If he decide that he is not willing to do either be ready for that, I do truly wish you the best of luck. 

  • brieri
    by brieri
    January 3, 2013 at 1:43 PM

     Hi and welcome to the group.

    Time to married to him, forcing it so he will be responsible.  whistling

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