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hazelnut830
Son joined Army - came home for break for 12 days and spent 1 day with me
January 2, 2013 at 10:14 PM

i head that single mothers have a harder time letting older children go and i believe it. 

my son moved when he was 16 to his dads, well dad's mom's really.  they live on same property but she is more responsible.  anyway, my son hasn't been that close to me since he moved.  he joined the army a few months ago and just came home for break for christmas.  he spent a total of 24 hours with me.  he lives an hour from here.  said he would see me before he left and didn't.  i'm so sad about it.  he says it's because he's older (he's 19) but i know lots of kids who are this age and have close relationships with their moms.  

his dad was an alcoholic unti a few months ago and was never there for my son.  he has alot of anger built over it but seems to take it out on me.  he has a gf and always has drama with her cause he's so disrespectul.  i don' tknow what to say to him to make him understand how much he hurts me.  he doesn't seem to care.  he text me today on his way back and said i'm too mushy and smother him.  and he saw me plenty while he was home.  i don't smother him.  i asked to go see him twice and he said no he was trying to win his gf back.  i don't even want to write him the rest of time he is in basic training because of how he treated me while he was here.  i got him some really nice gifts for christmas and he got me nothing.  he was in a horrible mood because of his gf and then left right after he opened his gifts.  ugh

is this normal teenage boy behavior or not?  i'm just hurt and mad and wondered what i did wrong?  i brought him up to be loving and respectful. 

 

Replies

  • Mommyto2LilMen
    January 2, 2013 at 10:53 PM

    *HUGS* sorrmy mama.  i do know that if my kids ever drifted away from me, I'd be heart broken.

  • mytrueloveS
    January 3, 2013 at 1:24 AM

     My brother is the same way with my mother, and we don't know why.  She's helped him through his worst times; yet he only calls her when he needs her to bail him out of jail.  My brother has been doing this since he was 17 (he is now 26), so I don't know exactly why they act the way they do.  I tell my mom to leave him alone, maybe that way he sees and starts appreciating everything she's done for him.  Good luck to you, and I hope things change with your son. 

  • Ridingsolo
    January 3, 2013 at 7:29 AM

    Give him space.  Still send him cards or touch base once in awhile, but give him space.  It's normal to drift away at this age.  He is trying to forge his own identity. 

    If you keep a good relatioship but don't make him feel crowded, you may develop a close bond again in the future. 

  • victoriahearts
    January 3, 2013 at 11:10 AM

    Sorry that must be hard for a mother to experience my son is still very small compared to yours, I think the best thing is to give him space to see he can work out whatever is wrong. It seems to me that he may be battling inner problems with myself or situation, give him time and space to see if they work themselves if it doesn't I would suggest confronting him with your feelings. My hope is that with time he will see how much you have given him and see how horrible he has been treating you.

  • easinpc
    by easinpc
    January 4, 2013 at 2:46 PM

    Hugs!

  • MicahBoo07
    January 4, 2013 at 2:54 PM

     U shouldn't of gave the gifts until u said everything u had to. idk I would of kept them & took them back.

  • hazelnut830
    January 6, 2013 at 9:19 PM

    thanks guys    i know he is forging his own identity but i wish he could do it and be nicer.  his 6 yr old brother told me the other day his bubby doesn't love himanymore.  so sad. he's just so selfish and i'm sure i was too at that age but it's hard.  ithink it's even harder for single mommies. 

  • conniejo75
    January 6, 2013 at 9:26 PM
    Idk. I have 2 sons --- 18 tmrw and the other is 16. Neither of them even want to speak to their dad. I can't imagine either of my boys doing that.
  • mylilgooberpea
    January 6, 2013 at 9:36 PM
    Hugs! Thats the military for you. Its the lifestyle they do one of 2 things. They are either on the go during leave or lazy and sleep. Hell come back around. The military makes em grow up fast maybe not smart but fast. Hugs again just keep your doors open. They only get so much true them time they try and cram visiting everyone or as many as they can in.

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