Single Moms

Armywife8807
Advice from you single moms!!!
January 2, 2013 at 11:46 AM

Okay so I here I go I need a little advice on what to do and how to go about it all.

I'm the single mother of two boys, their dad has split custody of them with me being the primary parent. He only pays $400 in child support at the moment which I was granted $784. We agreed that he would pay $400 through military allotment until the divorce was finalized and it went through child support and the court. We are now offically divorced and waiting on child support to get everything done, but he is currantly deployed at the moment so I don't know if that will affect anything at all. We also agreed on $400 cause I didn't want to argue with him over the amount, he said he wouldn't be able to support himself or pay off the credit cards, trailblazer, or the furniture we went out and got. So I settled with $400, well after he deployed he messaged me and told me that he was going to go out and buy himself a BRAND NEW truck when he gets back from deployment his excuse for doing this is the trailblazer is to small for him, I find that not a good enough excuse.

So I have decided to take him to court when he gets home. I have thought about it and the way I see it is if he can afford a brand new truck he should be able to afford my child support for the boys. I have also decided to go and take full custody of the boys, the reason for this is that he hardly ever sees them when he is home and he only lives 6 hours away. My oldest is scared to death of him, will not talk to him on cam, won't go with him or anything etc. He had only seen them for a whole 4 hours the whole two weeks he was home in October. We had split the end of June and he deployed in November. He does not try calling them from over seas when he gets a chance nor does  he hardly ask about them at all. I haven't heard from him in about two weeks and at this moment they are not busy over there  yet. I know this cause of friends that have husbands deployed with him.

So my question on this is whats the best way of going about this? The best way of finding an attorney fairly cheap cause at the moment I don't have a bunch of money just laying around.

Okay now a couple more questions for you ladies.

If you was a stay at home mommy when you became a single mommy, how did  you go about finding a job? How did you go about finding housing? I'm applying for HUD on the 9th and hopefully that works out, I'm also considering going back to school in February to work on my GED then go to college after I obtain my GED.

Sorry its so long and thanks in advance.

Replies

  • Tetiry92
    January 3, 2013 at 11:53 AM
    Oh and he can agree to appear by phone while he is deployed
  • Tish_Hughes
    January 3, 2013 at 8:45 PM

     

    Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

    Good luck! Hope you get the supper you are entitled for your child.

     I hope they get supper, too, lol. ;)

  • Tish_Hughes
    January 3, 2013 at 8:48 PM

     

    Quoting Armywife8807:

    Okay so I here I go I need a little advice on what to do and how to go about it all.

    I'm the single mother of two boys, their dad has split custody of them with me being the primary parent. He only pays $400 in child support at the moment which I was granted $784. We agreed that he would pay $400 through military allotment until the divorce was finalized and it went through child support and the court. We are now offically divorced and waiting on child support to get everything done, but he is currantly deployed at the moment so I don't know if that will affect anything at all. We also agreed on $400 cause I didn't want to argue with him over the amount, he said he wouldn't be able to support himself or pay off the credit cards, trailblazer, or the furniture we went out and got. So I settled with $400, well after he deployed he messaged me and told me that he was going to go out and buy himself a BRAND NEW truck when he gets back from deployment his excuse for doing this is the trailblazer is to small for him, I find that not a good enough excuse.

    My friend's ex-husband did that to her, also. He would send her about $200/mo for 3 kids and before he deployed, got a new (used) Tahoe. Oh, and he also had another baby. Some of these men, boy I tell ya. Mine asked me if I was going to take him off of child support because I "act like he won't send me anything for our daughter". Ha, okay.

    So I have decided to take him to court when he gets home. I have thought about it and the way I see it is if he can afford a brand new truck he should be able to afford my child support for the boys. I have also decided to go and take full custody of the boys, the reason for this is that he hardly ever sees them when he is home and he only lives 6 hours away. My oldest is scared to death of him, will not talk to him on cam, won't go with him or anything etc. He had only seen them for a whole 4 hours the whole two weeks he was home in October. We had split the end of June and he deployed in November. He does not try calling them from over seas when he gets a chance nor does  he hardly ask about them at all. I haven't heard from him in about two weeks and at this moment they are not busy over there  yet. I know this cause of friends that have husbands deployed with him.

    So my question on this is whats the best way of going about this? The best way of finding an attorney fairly cheap cause at the moment I don't have a bunch of money just laying around.

    Okay now a couple more questions for you ladies.

    If you was a stay at home mommy when you became a single mommy, how did  you go about finding a job? How did you go about finding housing? I'm applying for HUD on the 9th and hopefully that works out, I'm also considering going back to school in February to work on my GED then go to college after I obtain my GED.

    Sorry its so long and thanks in advance.

     

  • Mommyto2LilMen
    January 3, 2013 at 10:29 PM

    having problems with the touch screen on my phone and it must have auto corrected....lol

    SUPPORT!

    Quoting Tish_Hughes:

     

    Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

    Good luck! Hope you get the supper you are entitled for your child.

     I hope they get supper, too, lol. ;)


  • Tish_Hughes
    January 3, 2013 at 10:41 PM

     LOL, I'm just messing. I knew what you meant.

    Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

    having problems with the touch screen on my phone and it must have auto corrected....lol

    SUPPORT!

    Quoting Tish_Hughes:

     

    Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

    Good luck! Hope you get the supper you are entitled for your child.

     I hope they get supper, too, lol. ;)


     

  • crystaljem04
    January 3, 2013 at 10:47 PM

    I agree with other ladies, definately take him back he needs to support those kids...I was a stay at home mom when I got divorced and was living with my dad for 3 weeks till i found a job and moved out into an apt..I have 2 children and I do not recieve a dime in child support cuz the father said he can not afford it and he hardly helps me with anything financial for the children. Im still a single mom 3 years almost 4 years later and I have a full time job and i go to school full time (best choice you can make for your children) and i still have split custody and no child support, so you can do it too.....if you ever need support im here to lend it :)

  • camommy08
    January 3, 2013 at 11:06 PM

    best advice i can give about going from a stay at home mom to a single mom is apply everwhere no matter how small or a job is. A lot of companies don't like to hire someone who has a big gap between employment. An hiring agency told me this. So I'm not 100% on how true it is. I know it took me almost 6 months to get a job and that was at subway. I of course had limited skills. Mainly worked in food and beverages and retail.  After I got my job at subway I kept applying at better job almost a year later I got the job I have now. which is good but not a career. Def work on getting your ged and going to college. Get a job for now to get back on your feet than work on getting a career. Its a long road sometimes but sometimes you may luck out and it wont be so hard.

    hope this helped good luck

  • LifeCafe42
    January 4, 2013 at 2:17 AM
    Welcome! Call 211 find your local resources

    Quoting amonkeymom:

    Welcome!

    Definitely take him back to court on the child support issues, he needs to be responsible for helping care for the boys.  I'd suggest contacting child support enforcement or legal aid about this issue.

    Good luck on the housing!

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