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Dcoop2
Family or letting go what should i do?
by Dcoop2
December 19, 2012 at 9:43 PM

so me and my baby's father just broke up in sept right after our 2nd kid was born i'm still crushed everytime we talk i just ask him back to come home and change his mind but he won't hes living in a bad place around bad people my friends say let go and move on with someone that deserves me . but i can't i love my kids to much to throw my family away ....the reason why of the break up is because he said he didn't love me anymore and doesn't want to try ...hes said it all before and came back so i don't know if this is for real or not im afraid to be with someone else theres so many weirdo's out there i feel like i wont be able to trust anymore new for me and my kids to be around i'm hanging on tooth and nail here has anyone else been in this place ?what should i do i don't want to give up i know theres still hope of some kind ...

Replies

  • MamaHens3
    December 19, 2012 at 10:01 PM

    Its better to have a broken up home, then a home with two parents broken. I know what your saying, and feeling yet is it worth going through all that pain to keep a family together? You know he doesn't want to try, you do but something doesn't work unless TWO people want it to. Take a break, co parent with him and see if you can find you again. Don't want to be with him, for the kids sake or the family reason.

    I miss my family unit, yet I sure in hell do not miss my now xdh. I wanted to save my marraige with my x, we were together 9 yrs as a couple and 8 married. I wanted the kids to have us together, but they saw more drama us together. I could tell it was getting to the oldest two, and I started to see we are better off split up. I wasn't happy, he wasn't happy and that  equals unhappy children. I for myself saw he didn't want to work it out, I wanted to yet saw the ending result if we stayed together. Do what you feel you can, and should do. Don't do it for you, as much for your kids and is it worth it. Good luck chick. *hug* 

  • amonkeymom
    December 20, 2012 at 12:34 PM

    Hard to say, have you talked to him about couples counseling?

    Quoting Dcoop2:

    so me and my baby's father just broke up in sept right after our 2nd kid was born i'm still crushed everytime we talk i just ask him back to come home and change his mind but he won't hes living in a bad place around bad people my friends say let go and move on with someone that deserves me . but i can't i love my kids to much to throw my family away ....the reason why of the break up is because he said he didn't love me anymore and doesn't want to try ...hes said it all before and came back so i don't know if this is for real or not im afraid to be with someone else theres so many weirdo's out there i feel like i wont be able to trust anymore new for me and my kids to be around i'm hanging on tooth and nail here has anyone else been in this place ?what should i do i don't want to give up i know theres still hope of some kind ...


  • Andrewsmom70
    December 20, 2012 at 1:12 PM
    Take him at his word and work on you. Get to know yourself and figure out what you want. You shouldn't want a man that is wishy washy anyway.

    Don't even think about dating anyone else yet. Just do you.

  • Robsessed98
    December 20, 2012 at 4:01 PM
    You cant make him come back, especially if he left bc he doesnt love you. You have to let him go and move on or youll be miserable frrom now on. You dont need a man to be happy, so focus only on your kids and yourself. If at some point a man comes along thats worth your time, start dating again. Until then, enjoy your life and kids.
  • Barblicious
    December 20, 2012 at 6:00 PM

    When I discovered I was pregnant my daughter's dad told me that "he only wanted a child with someone he was married to, and only wanted to marry someone he was in love with and that was not me!" That was the end. As hard as it was to accept, he never was in love with me. He loved me but more like a sister or something. I would have been miserable and so would have he been miserable if we'd stay together just for the child. 

    If you let him come and go over and over, he will never commit completely because he knows he can leave and come back. That is not fair to you and really not fair to your children. Better to take him at his word, and let him go. Don't worry about dating now, just heal your heart and focus on your babies. In time, the wounds don't hurt as much.

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