Single Moms
So if anyone has got a chance to read any of my previous posts it will explain how me and my baby daddy has been. But I will sum it up .... Our dd is 16 months old. Bd and I were best friends for 3 1/2 years before we started dating then got pregnant. Well he has kinda been in and out of her life since she was born. Well we have been getting a long very well lately and he came over last night and we put yo the Christmas tree and watched a movie with our daughter then put her to bed together. After she was sleeping we were just talking about everything and our feeling and that kind of stuff. Well one thing led to another and he ended up staying the night and we had sex. I hope that we can be together and give our family a second chance. I love him so much and I'm always so happy when we are together. He brings out the best in me. Only problem is he has another baby on the way from his on again off again relationship....ugh I just don't know what to think or how to feel about everything. Id really like some advice! No bashing please!
UPDATE....HE HAS BEEN OVER 3 TIMES SINCE THAT HAPPENED. WE HAVEN'T SEX AGAIN BUT WE HAVE KISSED. HIM AND GF AREN'T GETTING ALONG BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LIKE IT THAT HE COMES OVER HERE AND SEES HIS DAUGHTER. HE EVEN CAME OVER WITH HIM MOM ONE NIGHT SO THAT SHE COULD SEE DD AND HIS GF STILL GOT PISSED CAUSE HE WAS AROUND ME. BUT, HE SAID IDC WHAT SHE THINKS, IF SHE ISN'T HAPPY THEN SHE CAN LEAVE BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING TO ABANDON MY DAUGHTER AGAIN . HE KNOWS THAT HE FUCKED UP IN THE PAST AND I THINK HE'S TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR IT NOW. HE IS COMING OVER TODAY TO SPEND THE DAY WITH US UNTIL HE HAS TO GO INTO WORK AT 5PM THEN AFTER WORK WE ARE TAKING DD TO LOOK AT CHRISTMAS LIGHTS! I CAN'T WAIT! & HE WAS OVER ALL DAY YESTERDAY TILL I HAD TO GO TO WORK. IDK.... I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I DO NOT THINK THAT HIS INTENTIONS ARE TO JUST SLEEP WITH ME. I THINK HE IS JUST VERY CONFUSED LATELY. BUT, WITH HIM BEING OVER ALOT AND US TEXTING EVERYDAY ALL DAY WHEN WE AREN'T TOGETHER I THINK WE ARE WORKING ON BUILDING OUR RELATIONSHIP THAT WE ONCE HAD. I JUST PRAY THAT WE CAN MAKE THIS WORK FOR OUR FAMILY & BECAUSE HE WAS MY FIRST LOVE AND MY BEST FRIEND. I WANT TO BE WITH HIM. I LOVE HOW I FEEL WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER AND HOW HAPPY HE MAKES ME AND MY DD.
UPDATE....HE HAS BEEN OVER 3 TIMES SINCE THAT HAPPENED. WE HAVEN'T SEX AGAIN BUT WE HAVE KISSED. HIM AND GF AREN'T GETTING ALONG BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LIKE IT THAT HE COMES OVER HERE AND SEES HIS DAUGHTER. HE EVEN CAME OVER WITH HIM MOM ONE NIGHT SO THAT SHE COULD SEE DD AND HIS GF STILL GOT PISSED CAUSE HE WAS AROUND ME. BUT, HE SAID IDC WHAT SHE THINKS, IF SHE ISN'T HAPPY THEN SHE CAN LEAVE BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING TO ABANDON MY DAUGHTER AGAIN . HE KNOWS THAT HE FUCKED UP IN THE PAST AND I THINK HE'S TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR IT NOW. HE IS COMING OVER TODAY TO SPEND THE DAY WITH US UNTIL HE HAS TO GO INTO WORK AT 5PM THEN AFTER WORK WE ARE TAKING DD TO LOOK AT CHRISTMAS LIGHTS! I CAN'T WAIT! & HE WAS OVER ALL DAY YESTERDAY TILL I HAD TO GO TO WORK. IDK.... I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I DO NOT THINK THAT HIS INTENTIONS ARE TO JUST SLEEP WITH ME. I THINK HE IS JUST VERY CONFUSED LATELY. BUT, WITH HIM BEING OVER ALOT AND US TEXTING EVERYDAY ALL DAY WHEN WE AREN'T TOGETHER I THINK WE ARE WORKING ON BUILDING OUR RELATIONSHIP THAT WE ONCE HAD. I JUST PRAY THAT WE CAN MAKE THIS WORK FOR OUR FAMILY & BECAUSE HE WAS MY FIRST LOVE AND MY BEST FRIEND. I WANT TO BE WITH HIM. I LOVE HOW I FEEL WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER AND HOW HAPPY HE MAKES ME AND MY DD.
Replies
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my dd father has a total of 4 bm and 7 kids. He actively still has sex with 3 of them. I'm the only one who moved 3 hrs away 5 yrs ago to get away from this man. He just rotates from house to house, and from time to time, some of them get pregnant. Don't be one of "those" girls. Respect yourself! You're worth it(:
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I agree with the other ladies and you deserve better and it will become hard on your daughter as she grows and starts to notice what he is doing. He is deffinately immature and why choose when he has everything he wants and no attatchment to anyone (not meant as rude at all) Its hard but you have to take care of you and your daughter he needs to grow up
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I understand YOU want it to work and YOU love him but hun it takes 2 and you know that ACTIONS speak louder then words it hurts and sucks but be honest with yourself... HUGS
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Do you love him, or the idea of him as the father of your child and as such the idea of being a complete family? Is it him you love or the fantasy in your head of what you dream the future will be?
I completely understand how easy it is to slip back with an ex, specially if you are really attracted to them. My daughter's dad is still very sexually attractive to me on physical level, but I just remind myself about all the baggage he brings with him, and I know the fantasy can never be real whenever that fleeting thought might pop in my brain.
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My dd Gracelyn and her daddy the other day! This is the first picture I have of them together!
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First he left you and your child and knocked up a new girlfriend. New girlfriend is of course jealous so he's cheating with you. You want him back with all these factors? Take your blinders off! He's taking advantage of the fact he can get to you and get with you. If ex doesn't work out he will have you to sleep with. Then before you know it hell be gone with a new gf. Think about the kids first. Your kid and his other kid on the way. He's obviously not. And you don't deserve this bullshit either. But hey it's your choice. I'm not judging I'm giving you my honest opinion and advice, which is RUN! -
Oh Hon- please be careful and guard your heart. I know that things seem like they are getting better- and I pray for you and your daughter that they are. But please don't do anything drastic or work yourself up. Go slowly and make him show you over time where he wants to be, His interests are divided and as some of the other ladies posted he may just be benefitting from multiple situations.
Btw your daughter is BEAUTIFUL! :) -
aww. Thank you my dd is my world.
As far as everything, yes we had sex on the 6th and he stayed the night, put our dd to bed, helped me with her bath and everything. He has been over alot more helping me with her and actually being a dad. We are taking things slow because I do have to concern that he might cheat on me but apart of me isn't sure because I have known him for so long and he isn't the cheating type. Idk. I want to give him another chance. As far as us being together in the past, I broke up with him when I was pregnant because we started fighting alot when I became pregnant then I was in a relationship from the time I was 3 months pregnant till about 2 months ago and her dad wasn't around. I think mostly because of my ex because her dad didn't feel like he was needed because I had a bf that helped me with my daughter. I am just very unsure of everything. I am just very happy that he is being a dad now and we are getting along because for the longest time we didn't but we are working on everything and he is doing great with our daughter. We are all going to look at Christmas lights tonight and I can't wait!
Quoting Mamavelt:
Oh Hon- please be careful and guard your heart. I know that things seem like they are getting better- and I pray for you and your daughter that they are. But please don't do anything drastic or work yourself up. Go slowly and make him show you over time where he wants to be, His interests are divided and as some of the other ladies posted he may just be benefitting from multiple situations.
Btw your daughter is BEAUTIFUL! :)
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You need to make him spend time with your child alone. You need to know if he's truly there to be a daddy or if he's merely playing daddy to keep getting in your pants.
Plus he needs to deal with gf first before he starts up with you again. Otherwise he doesn't have to pick either of you.
Other gf has a right to be pissed if he's texting you all day. Your contact with him should only be related to dd. -
I had to do the same thing, and we are still the same way even after 5 years but there is no sex, and this time he moved away, but when we see each other, the chemistry is still there
Quoting conniejo75:
I agree. My ex was this way. I literally had to move to another state after our divorce to get away and get over him.
Quoting strngenough:
Seems like he has a lot of on again off again things. Like when he doesn't like something at one house he goes to another. A real partner needs to stick through and work through the hard times. I think it's more heart ache than help.