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beach40
Men I swear....
by beach40
November 19, 2012 at 2:42 PM

I am dating a great wonderful man, but he can have his moments....Last night he got on to me for having an hotmail account for email.   Said thats a dating website.   I tried to explain to him it was for email...he would not understand.   Said that its for dating.   I finally conceeded and closed the account, not like I get email anyway, since I have cut all ties with the drama and issues in my life.    Then he ask to go through my phone, I said sure I dont care, nothing to hide...next thing he says...you have way to may apps on your droid...ummm they came w the phone, cannot delete them.   Then he asked who David was....there is no David in my phone.   I finally looked at him as asked, do you want to fight or something...no, he said, just checking.   Few minutes later he said his ex wife and last several girlfriends have cheated on him and he is not use to the way I treat him.   I told him, like he told me...past is the past, learn from the mistakes, move forward and dont compare your new love to your old ones.   He was good with it.   The funny thing is, its his phone always going off, but he tells me who it is.   He shows me his facebook page, which I dont have one.   He lets me know when women come on to hard.   I told him that as long as there is normal, not lets meet and fuck conversation I dont mind.  We all have to talk to oppsite sex.   If it crosses that line then I am gone.   ITs not rocket science.   Like I told him numerous times If you can find someon that treats you better and you rather be with I will not stand in your way.   I am secure in myself and what I have to offer....he laughed and said yea your the girl all the guys are wanting to marry, I am the guy the girls want to fuck and leave.   Its kinda of a sad statement.   Yes I have had numerous marriage proposals but I never took them seriously, heck his bff is begging for a clone of me so he can date someone like me.   I just laugh and say he is crazy.   But I watch girls time and time again in front of me, just come on to him, hang on him and try like hell.   I know its got to be hard and tempting on him.   I also know checking my phone and all is his way for reassurance.   I trust him but sometimes I wonder if he trust me.

Replies

  • victoriahearts
    November 19, 2012 at 2:57 PM

    I understand that his been burn before but checking up on your and making demands will only end in problems because there will always be that doubt and who can  have a wonderful relationship if you are always waiting for the other shoe to drop, he needs to move pass everything and start trusting you , if not he will make this relationship fail. It's just my thoughts I could be wrong.

  • beach40
    by beach40
    November 19, 2012 at 3:03 PM

    I thought the same thing.    I know he has been through alot and is still trying to deal but it hard at times.   He lost his dad in march, mother a year before, lost his job.   I know he has alot of down time to think and worry, I am very upfront, I tell him every where I go.   If I am not at work I am with him,   I should be the one w trust issues.   These women are ruthless...texting all the time.   I finally told him that he needs to put end to it.   One sent message saturday, I told him to tell her he is w me.   It worked, no more messages.   Not sure about today though, he is with his son and his gf.   Even his son GF has been trying some moves.   It beats all is seen, she just shows up when her bf  and I am are at work.   Told him you just need to say you have to leave.   I would never do someone that way.   So wrong. 

  • steviechick
    November 19, 2012 at 3:28 PM

    Well, I would talk to your bf about going to couples counseling if he can't step back and allow himself to actually trust you.  I was married to the same man for 26 years when I found out he was cheating on me the last three years of our marriage.  He also fathered two kids with his bimbo.  Talk about trust issues!  I've had lies to last me a lifetime.  I will learn to trust again when I know I can trust again.  I would do something about this gf.  She's old enough to be your bf's daughter.  Not a good situation at all. 

  • SnapIt
    by SnapIt
    November 19, 2012 at 3:36 PM
    I wouldnt have deleted the acct
    Thats the beginning stages of handing him his way
    His obviously insecure and the best thing is to not give in to him so easily
    He needs to learn you are being honest, by keeping the stuff you had before he came along
    I dont think this is the end of his telling you what to do

    Before deleting that hotmail acct you shouldve had him ask around what is hotmail
    Thats ridiculous he thinks is a dating site and by you deleting, it proves to him its something bad.
    Its a email acct! He needs to know that.
    You say you dont have a FB acct? Ha, if you eventually get one he will find something to blame that on too. Even if he tells you to make one just to see you friend. Thats going to cause trouble
  • beach40
    by beach40
    November 19, 2012 at 3:46 PM

    I thought about that.  

  • Barblicious
    November 19, 2012 at 3:50 PM

    He has some major insecurity issues. Making you delete your Hotmail? Seriously? Then demanding to check your phone? RED FLAGS are flying.

    Does he tell you what to wear yet? How dare you wear that sexy sweater. Who are you wearing that for?

    He is controlling you and I think it will only get worse.

    Trust is earned, but you haven't even been given the option to show you are worthy, he is already suspicious and controlling and demanding... yikes.

    Also sounds like he is the one you should be worried about. Often cheaters accuse their partners of doing what they themselves are doing. It is called Psychological Projection. Liars accuse everyone of lies etc. I hope that isn't the case but, there are a lot of red flags flying to me.

  • iHay
    by iHay
    November 19, 2012 at 3:52 PM
    Hahaha thats hilarious that he thinks hotmail is a dating site. You should have googled it and showed him. My new husband has trust issues and saw my email account one day and saw that i was still getting emails from match.com, we met on pof so he thinks i was on all the sites, i was never on match.com but when he saw i had emails from them he got upset so i went through my inbox and showed him that i have emails from over 55 dating sites and asian dating and all kinds of crap. Theyre all junk but for some reason nothing goes to my junk folder.
    I can understand trust issues cause i have them too, how long have you guys been together? Maybe because youre not hanging all over him your bf thinks you dont care? Just a thought, he's used to women being all over him so he's not used to you. You should try reading The 5 Love Languages, if you havent. Maybe youre just not speaking his love language and he needs something to make him feel special.
  • beach40
    by beach40
    November 19, 2012 at 4:03 PM

    I spend every free moment with him.   I text him from work to let him know hey I am thinking of you.   I am very loving and affectionate.   When he comes over I meet him at the door.   if he stays I kiss him goodbye in the morning.   I am trying but also being me.   He is insecure I do believe and has alot of things that he must process and handle.   Trust is two ways and must be earned.   I am very open and he knows that.   Hopefully with time he will see the bigger picture if not, well it was not ment for us to be. 

  • LauraMH
    by LauraMH
    November 19, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    I had the exact same thoughts reading this. He sounds extremely controlling.

    Quoting Barblicious:

    He has some major insecurity issues. Making you delete your Hotmail? Seriously? Then demanding to check your phone? RED FLAGS are flying.

    Does he tell you what to wear yet? How dare you wear that sexy sweater. Who are you wearing that for?

    He is controlling you and I think it will only get worse.

    Trust is earned, but you haven't even been given the option to show you are worthy, he is already suspicious and controlling and demanding... yikes.

    Also sounds like he is the one you should be worried about. Often cheaters accuse their partners of doing what they themselves are doing. It is called Psychological Projection. Liars accuse everyone of lies etc. I hope that isn't the case but, there are a lot of red flags flying to me.


  • mhaney03
    November 19, 2012 at 4:20 PM

    no way in hell

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