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My ex husband went to jail in November 2011. Since then we have had no contact (ordered by the court system for DV). His entire family had made this year the worst I've ever been through. We are both young (23&24) with two young girls 3&5. Over the last 5 years he has walked in and out of my childrens lives w/ no remorse. I had to beg his girlfriend to ask him to take my girls every wknd to help me out with daycare due to finances. I recently modified my CS & he is contesting it, and basically saying that him & his new gf need all the money they can get because she has 3 of her own children. She confronted me 2 days ago saying that if I push for more CS that her kids will suffer from my choices. Should I feel wrong about CS because he chose to get with a girl who has children? Or should I keep with my plan & not take into account that they have a full house to support also?
Replies
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Screw her and your kids. Your child's father is obligated to his OWN kids not someone else's. Maybe the new GF needs to get a job to support her OWN kids.
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Don't feel bad, agree with most and or all who have said he needs to care about HIS kids. Not hers, she had them before she met him right? Well there you go lol, for real her worries and he isn't to play daddy when he's not even daddy to his own kids.
I've thought of asking for more support from my youngest dad soon, he has four kids though from his ex wife and is the sole bread winner of the home. Last I knew he was the main custody parent of them, and he already gets support out that they ordered betting that puts a dent in his check he brings home. If those kids weren't my dd's half sisters, and brothers I'd do it yet I know I care for them.
One thing though I do know, if my bf and i moved in together. I'd not be asking him to pay, take care of my children money wise. Their my kids, not his and their not their father. He can help with bills, yet really my kids are my duty to take care of mainly. He has three kids my bf, one a love child and the other planned that he pays suport on. An I'd never stand in that, he see's them and pays support being a dad. I know as a mother, getting support myself that helps me take care of our child and some chick told dd's dad don't pay she's hurting her some how!
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I agree with this.
Quoting Andrewsmom70:
His first priority is to HIS kids. You have nothing to feel sorry for. -
Her children are not your responsbility or your ex husbands. They are her responsbility. You need to do what is best for YOUR children, not hers. If she is struggling then it's up to her to figure that out. Not you. Go for the child support as you normally would.
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I can understand the guilt , your a mom and she basically playing on those mommy emotions but the fact is that your children deserve the child support as he is the father of your children, if she is going through a hard time then she should do what you are doing, take the father of her children to court for more child support. She needs to be responsible for her children and your need to look out for yours. As much as you can sympathies with her situation , you can't bend over backwards to please her and put yourself in a harder position.
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Keep to your plan...
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Amen to this...
Quoting BeachMommy07:
Screw her and your kids. Your child's father is obligated to his OWN kids not someone else's. Maybe the new GF needs to get a job to support her OWN kids.
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He is responsable for his children. His girlfriend is not, his girlfriends children should be supported by her and their own father. Dont feel bad, the court will decided if he is capable of paying more, and if they feel he is, then they will award that in the CS amendment.
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DO NOT feel guilty. The child support is not for you, it is for your girls. He chose to date a woman with children which is common sense going to cost more. I'd also not beg him or his gf to take your girls at all. Sorry you're going through that.
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Keep with your plan mama. It is to take care of your children. Her kids are not his responsibility, they are hers and then man/men she chose to have them with. Maybe she herself should consider going after thier father(s) to help support them.
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