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alicia9804
Visitation
November 15, 2012 at 6:32 PM
This thanksgiving will be the first time I have to let my kids go with my ex and was wondering how much time do you give them to pick up the kids before you finally give up and leave? I don't know that it will happen but in the past he hasn't showed up on the days he was supposed to to see our kids or he was very late before I let it go cause he never took them over nite except once and only had them 1 nite. Just wondering so I can be prepared for anything that might happen and have something ready to tell my kids when they ask why dady didn't pick them up..

Replies

  • MIMIBRIE
    November 15, 2012 at 6:33 PM
    Honestly I wait 10 minutes then leave. It's a set time and he needs to either let you know ahead of time he's runnin late or miss his visits.
  • alicia9804
    November 15, 2012 at 6:37 PM
    My divorce papers say he gets them from 2:00pm the day of the holiday n it starts his 48 hours and I don't want to get into trouble if i leave after so long of waiting.
  • Chellie13
    November 15, 2012 at 6:46 PM

    Leave a message for him saying you will only wait (however) many minutes before you have to leave because you have plans (even if you don't have plans!).  Tell the kids up front, be ready to go with daddy, and if he doesn't make it, you'll be coming with me.  Plain and simple.  No drama. 

    I went through that all the time.  I stopped telling my kids that daddy was coming to pick them up until I saw his truck pull into the parking lot.  I would just say "daddy might be coming today".  They will just have to get used to it.  Kids adapt , they really do.  WE are the ones who end up feeling so bad for them.  And that sucks, I know.

    But make sure the ex understands, you have a life and will only wait so long.  If he misses his holiday with his kids...his fault, no one else's (though he'll probably still blame you anyways, that's what they do best.)

    Good luck!

  • Chellie13
    November 15, 2012 at 6:50 PM

    That doesn't mean you have to sit around for the 48 hrs after waitng for him.  The time clearly states he picks them up at 2pm, so if it hits 230pm... That's waiting long enough.  He needs to have responsibility of calling to let you know if he can't make it.  Think of it as business, not personal.  If he was going to be late for work, he needs to call (well, most people do!).   The judge would agree with that.. I've been through it already.

    Quoting alicia9804:

    My divorce papers say he gets them from 2:00pm the day of the holiday n it starts his 48 hours and I don't want to get into trouble if i leave after so long of waiting.


  • brieri
    by brieri
    November 15, 2012 at 7:05 PM

     Do everything in your power by calling him or have the kids call to verify time.  If he doesn't show by the time he states within 1 hour, leave a note at your door where you will be and he can then pick them up from there.  Or call just before leaving and tell him you are out the door and he can pick them up at the other person's home.  If he doesn't show then it's no longer your problem.  Just document it.

  • alicia9804
    November 15, 2012 at 7:08 PM
    Thank you! And I have sent him a message telling him that I will b there at 2 and if he can't make it he needs 2 let me no ahead of time. Before he would come to my house to see them but he spent more time trying to get me in bed then spending time with the kids and I didn't approve so I told him things would b very diff this time around and I wouldn't put up with any bullshit.


    Quoting Chellie13:

    That doesn't mean you have to sit around for the 48 hrs after waitng for him.  The time clearly states he picks them up at 2pm, so if it hits 230pm... That's waiting long enough.  He needs to have responsibility of calling to let you know if he can't make it.  Think of it as business, not personal.  If he was going to be late for work, he needs to call (well, most people do!).   The judge would agree with that.. I've been through it already.


    Quoting alicia9804:

    My divorce papers say he gets them from 2:00pm the day of the holiday n it starts his 48 hours and I don't want to get into trouble if i leave after so long of waiting.



  • Kissybratzmom
    November 15, 2012 at 9:54 PM
    My papers state 30 minutes.
  • faerie75
    November 16, 2012 at 7:44 PM

     if hes a flake dont even mention him coming until hes alrady on his way. if i was meeting him seomwhere, he needs to be there within 15 minutes or im the fuck out. if he picks them up from where i am, id give him leeway as long as he kept me posted.

  • Tetiry92
    November 16, 2012 at 8:41 PM
    I agree with the ladies say ahead of time if you aren't there by 215 I'm leaving. Keeping the kids some where for 30-45 min waiting on him is ridiculous. This is a holiday for them and family and you don't need to waste their time they should be with family that prioritizes them.
  • conniejo75
    November 16, 2012 at 8:57 PM
    Ours states 30 mins.

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