Single Moms
Was the love gone? Were the two of you unwilling to compromise? Were there always warning signs that something was off but you Ignored them? Was it abuse? Did you feel displaced by society telling you to disregard gender roles and everyone became frustrated?
I'm just trying to figure out why so many people go through the ceremony to only give up.
Replies
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I didn't give up on our marriage however multiple factors led to our divorce one being changed his mind about having children. I had none and wanted at least one. Funny enough, I found out I was pregnant 3 months after we separated. He's a great Dad! -
Well, cheating was a part of it but I looked beyond it more than once. It was other things that ruined it but I have 3 kids in the tubs right now so bump for later.
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For me it was warning signs that I didn't pay attention to, I believe he was cheating and the verbal garbage he constantly dished out. I did not get married to live the way things were going. I deserve better, more importantly my children deserve better. It takes 2 to make a thing work and when only one person is working its not going to work.
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I think that a lot of people do not take it seriously at all. Then some there are big reasons for divorce. For myself, my ex husband and I married at 20 after dating two and a half years. Got pregnant very quickly after, and our son was born when we were 21, divorced at 22. He was very abusive both physically and emotionally early on. I fell out of love with him because of the abuse. My boyfriend and I plan to get married one day..but for both of us this will be our second marriage so we're taking it slow..him more than me. We've been together going on three years and I am starting to get impatient, lol.
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Money (his love of it) and he was always traveling. -
That would be something that I would divorce over. That's not the kind of marriage I would want!!!! Eek
Quoting moosesmom:
Money (his love of it) and he was always traveling.
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You can spend a whole lifetime and never really know someone. Men change. I really was in love with my ex when we married and him with me. It was 10 yrs of marriage before we had kids. When the kids came he really changed. Before kids i found out he had a porn addiction. He's still got a serious prob with that. He wound us up homeless with two toddlers coz he got thrown out of the army 2 yrs shy of retirement got our house foreclosed on. When i found work and a place got us out of the homeless situation...id come home from work ''momma daddy hit me!'' excuses he was discipling and how bad kids were. One day i was home he threw something hit my daughters ribs just coz she got in way of tv. Thats why i divorced him. You can never see these things coming! Men change! -
Funny thing is we're together now! Lol.
We've grown up a lot. And he's now understanding the meaning of family and how quickly time goes by (missing out on major milestones). But it was difficult and put A LOT of strain on our marriage.
Quoting alc4evermom:
That would be something that I would divorce over. That's not the kind of marriage I would want!!!! Eek
Quoting moosesmom:
Money (his love of it) and he was always traveling.
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I loved my Ex very very much. When I opted to end our marriage it was not because I did not love him; it was THE hardest thing I have ever done. We were married for 15 years and together 18. The short version of it all was that he is a drug addict. This in turn made him abusive in every way you can think. I know had he not made the choices he made I would still be married to him today and very happy. It was the last five years of our marriage that drugs became an issue. I did not take the decision lightly to end my marriage.
However with all that said; Life is not so bad now. I have an amazing new boyfriend and we plan on getting married very soon. I also have a new kid out of the deal a 12 year son and I am smitten with him. My daughter not so much, but I think that just makes him a little brother.
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Yeah porn addiction is a huge sign. It's also brave of you to admit that you were married to a porn addict. I know how those people are. They are sociopaths, and very abusive. There is nothing sane or normal about porn addiction. Good for you for getting out of that.
Quoting Cenedra64:
You can spend a whole lifetime and never really know someone. Men change. I really was in love with my ex when we married and him with me. It was 10 yrs of marriage before we had kids. When the kids came he really changed. Before kids i found out he had a porn addiction. He's still got a serious prob with that. He wound us up homeless with two toddlers coz he got thrown out of the army 2 yrs shy of retirement got our house foreclosed on. When i found work and a place got us out of the homeless situation...id come home from work ''momma daddy hit me!'' excuses he was discipling and how bad kids were. One day i was home he threw something hit my daughters ribs just coz she got in way of tv. Thats why i divorced him. You can never see these things coming! Men change!