Single Moms
So my boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. He has known my plans from the beginning. To be out of school and offer the little bit of govt. help I am getting before DS is 2. I told him that school, work, and a kid would take up a lot of my time. It would be hard but it would make life easier down the road. I also refuse to pawn my kid off on people so I can go out to the bars and crap. So when we are together it is pretty much sit at home.
Today he comes over and asks if I am happy. I told him I am content. He said he was unhappy. I just stated at him and waited for him to continue. He was complaining.g we never see each other because of my schedule and his 2 jobs. Then informed me that he couldn't give up a job. He tried to put it on me to change something. I can't because my son is my top priority and everything I am doing is to give him a better life.
He then says he wants to take a break. I told him no. He is either a part of this or he can leave. DS doesn't need someone bouncing in and out of his life when things get hard. If he is that unhappy then he can hit the door. I said that I would miss him but that it was better for me not to be with someone who bounced when it is difficult. If he wants to go out and party with someone then there are plenty of single mom's or childless women who would oblige but that is not me.
Guess he wasn't as unhappy as he thought since he decided to stay.
I was very proud of myself for staying calm and standing my ground.
EDIT: I understand compromise is important. So what do you think I should compromise? I spend my time going to school, working, and the little time I have left is split between DS, cleaning house, and about 5 hours of sleep.
Today he comes over and asks if I am happy. I told him I am content. He said he was unhappy. I just stated at him and waited for him to continue. He was complaining.g we never see each other because of my schedule and his 2 jobs. Then informed me that he couldn't give up a job. He tried to put it on me to change something. I can't because my son is my top priority and everything I am doing is to give him a better life.
He then says he wants to take a break. I told him no. He is either a part of this or he can leave. DS doesn't need someone bouncing in and out of his life when things get hard. If he is that unhappy then he can hit the door. I said that I would miss him but that it was better for me not to be with someone who bounced when it is difficult. If he wants to go out and party with someone then there are plenty of single mom's or childless women who would oblige but that is not me.
Guess he wasn't as unhappy as he thought since he decided to stay.
I was very proud of myself for staying calm and standing my ground.
EDIT: I understand compromise is important. So what do you think I should compromise? I spend my time going to school, working, and the little time I have left is split between DS, cleaning house, and about 5 hours of sleep.
Replies
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good for you mama -
while I agree that you should continue to work towards your goals, relationships are about compromise.
you don't seem willing to compromise at all.
what's wrong with your mom watching your son for a night so you two can go out and be adults?
what's wrong with a friend watching him for an afternoon so Yall can catch a movie?
it can't be your way or the highway. -
Well good for you, I think you set a good precendent for the relationship. Now he knows where your priorities lie, and there's nothing wrong with that. And you're absolutely right about what you said to him!
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I have been overloading everyone with babysitting for school and work as it is. I had been working on my friend about Wednesday night but hadn't mentioned it because I did not want to get his hopes up until I knew for sure.
He should have come to me and asked for us time rather then threatening to leave.
Quoting happymommy1105:
while I agree that you should continue to work towards your goals, relationships are about compromise.
you don't seem willing to compromise at all.
what's wrong with your mom watching your son for a night so you two can go out and be adults?
what's wrong with a friend watching him for an afternoon so Yall can catch a movie?
it can't be your way or the highway. -
Thank you
Quoting h_minkus:
Well good for you, I think you set a good precendent for the relationship. Now he knows where your priorities lie, and there's nothing wrong with that. And you're absolutely right about what you said to him!
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I totally know how it is. And yeah, he should be mature enough to address the real issue rather than threaten a "break." Let it go now though, don't keep beating him up for it. Not saying you would, just a thought because I think I did that sometimes with my ex.
Quoting Kaya529:
I have been overloading everyone with babysitting for school and work as it is. I had been working on my friend about Wednesday night but hadn't mentioned it because I did not want to get his hopes up until I knew for sure.
He should have come to me and asked for us time rather then threatening to leave.
Quoting happymommy1105:
while I agree that you should continue to work towards your goals, relationships are about compromise.
you don't seem willing to compromise at all.
what's wrong with your mom watching your son for a night so you two can go out and be adults?
what's wrong with a friend watching him for an afternoon so Yall can catch a movie?
it can't be your way or the highway. -
good job!
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I'll make a couple of sarcastic comments over the next 2 weeks and tell him he is on probation then forget about it.
He knows since it isn't the first time he stuck his foot in his mouth.
Quoting h_minkus:
I totally know how it is. And yeah, he should be mature enough to address the real issue rather than threaten a "break." Let it go now though, don't keep beating him up for it. Not saying you would, just a thought because I think I did that sometimes with my ex.
Quoting Kaya529:
I have been overloading everyone with babysitting for school and work as it is. I had been working on my friend about Wednesday night but hadn't mentioned it because I did not want to get his hopes up until I knew for sure.
He should have come to me and asked for us time rather then threatening to leave.
Quoting happymommy1105:
while I agree that you should continue to work towards your goals, relationships are about compromise.
you don't seem willing to compromise at all.
what's wrong with your mom watching your son for a night so you two can go out and be adults?
what's wrong with a friend watching him for an afternoon so Yall can catch a movie?
it can't be your way or the highway. -
Good for you for standing up for yourself and your child. Good luck to you!!
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If you want a relationship to work, you do need to work on it. Couples need alone time without a kiddo from time to time. He stayed now but that's cuz he backed down. He is unhappy. Taking a few hours here and there for your mate is not "pawning your kid off".