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Feel like ex-mil still plans to take my kids
October 23, 2012 at 2:01 AM
When i picked up my kids on saturday. The ex fil and mil always say something. They use about two days out of the month because they "don't want any fighting". He visits the kids at their house and they sometimes ask if he called me without their knowledge. If they want to run his life fine. Their controlling nature took a huge toll on the marriage. But oh well, that is done.

I was trying to get my two year old his medicine and they mentioned they are leaving town and asked if i wanted ex to visit. I said that is up to him but I am the one being the parent and doing my share of the parenting and his. Ex-mil mumbles "yeah For Now" and ex fil starts saying how they appreciate all i do blah blah. That "for now" really bothered me.

From the moment I had our first son ex mil was urging him to divorce me and try to get custody. Then when we argued she would give him money to stay at a hotel as long as he promised to leave. I was five months pregnant with second son. He was gone for a week and from then forward was constantly leaving.

When we were divorcing he would tell me "when they are older they can decide to live with me". Then i got custody and she is being super nice. It seems she still wants to try to get my kids away from me.

Any thoughts? I doubt she will ever stop. During the divorce she even called cps. They closed the case but this is exhausting. Is there anything I can do?


  • lnrmom
    by lnrmom
    October 24, 2012 at 4:56 PM

    Unless they can prove you're an  unfit mother, which they likely can't, they won't win. So let them try. Whatever. Shrug it off.

  • lnrmom
    by lnrmom
    October 24, 2012 at 4:56 PM

    Don't do that, that could backfire. Just let it roll like water on a duck. Roll eyes and everything.

    Quoting kim8934:

    be ready with a comment back next time.  Something like 'keep you comments to yourself or I will make sure you never see your grandkids again."  I think shock the shit out of her would work best, I had an ex-MIL like that.

  • Chellie13
    October 24, 2012 at 5:42 PM

    Ignore her.  CPS already closed a case against you, proving that they will just call for no good reason.  That paper trail against them is good to have.  So, try not to let her bother you.  Sounds like she's fighting hr son's fight for him while he's being an absent parent. 

    Is the visitation schedule through the courts?  Make it very business-like.  They are just trying to get to you.

  • StephMosDef
    October 24, 2012 at 6:31 PM

    I'd stop taking them over there. if shes that way with her son n talks to you like that, imagine what shes telling your sons. go back to court if your ex doesnt want his time with them. use the message as proof. GL momma

  • spotsmom
    October 25, 2012 at 12:55 AM

    The chances of them getting the kids are very slim. You would basically have to be a crack whore for them to take your kids and give them to your ex in-laws (no offense to crack whores intended) other words, extremely neglectful or abusive.  So, keep being a good mom and you have nothing to worry about. If they keep filing false reports with CPS, CPS will stop looking into them altogether. So don't worry, they WILL NOT, ever, get your kids. So let let that fear go. 

  • strngenough
    October 25, 2012 at 1:13 AM
    Eh dated guys with insane mothers like this. I wish you the best of luck. I personally have no idea how to get over them. Man they just pick at you.
  • lissetteP
    October 25, 2012 at 1:43 AM
    ..if your a fit mother they can't do shit
  • sav820
    by sav820
    October 25, 2012 at 1:53 AM

    You dont have to allow them to see them..HE(daddy) gets Visitation....NOT his parents,( unless the court & you arranged that deal)  they're lucky they get to see them......And just because he doesnt see them doesnt mean he can transfere his time to them..NOOOO.....In MOST states there are " NO "Grand parents RIGHTS....Find out what your state laws are...  And then decide.  Don't let them scare you  like someone else said, YOU must be proven UNFIT in a court & if you're a good mom it would never happen...So dont allow them to manipulate you..Good Luck!! 

     P.S. Plus you do NOT want them playing your children against you, or talking bad about you....Buy a cam ( they sell many that look like kids tags for luggage) and hook it to the childrens bag when they visit....and spy /record, and see what the say to your children....

  • mommynac
    October 25, 2012 at 9:19 AM

    Make dad do the heavy lifting. Don't take your kids to see them. Grandparents don't have any rights anyways.

  • suetoo
    by suetoo
    October 25, 2012 at 9:50 AM
    Document everything in a secret notebook, date and time, describe circumstance. Take pictures of every txt or FB threat or comment. Get answering machine to save any threatening message. She threatens under her breath, get in car, pull out notebook and write it down as exactly her words as you can remember. Stop letting them get in the middle. They ask you about anything, say " certainly he can get in touch with me about that" smile politely and leave.

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