Single Moms

Sj218
Why am I still so hurt and dissapointed?
by Sj218
October 14, 2012 at 8:38 PM
My STBX posted on FB yesterday that he is in a new relationship. I only moved out 8 weeks ago! I know he's over me, but I thought he'd wait for a full on relationship until we were actually divorced. He introduced this gal to my son already, then told him not to tell me. All I want is some honesty. If he's dating, tell me first before bringing our son into it. And NEVER tell our son to keep a secret from his mom. I'm not mad that he's dating. I'm not surprised by that at all. But really? Posting it for the world to see on FB? That's just tacky and rude.

Replies

  • ImaSoulMom
    October 15, 2012 at 11:37 PM
    I'm sorry. Yes it is easier for ex to move on. They have more time to "socialize". No need to worry about a sitter or feel guilty. Their time is for them and sadly for most the kiddos are not #1. With me, they teach my son mean things to say. He calls me a "f*&%ing b#%ch" and now they teach him to say he loves the nasty homewrecker.

    It is playing childish games. Petty people with nothing better to do. I'm sorry you have to deal with that garbage.
  • Sj218
    by Sj218
    October 16, 2012 at 1:53 AM
    Oh, I'm mad about that too. I'm even more mad that she will be at my sons soccer game this weekend and will be spending the weekend with them. It's just too soon. My son is almost 9. He should not be exposed to this new relationship yet. It's not fair to him.


    Quoting VicAndKailee:

    i totally see where you're coming from. I would be more upset about him introducing your child to another woman before discussing it with you. even it'd you guys aren't on good terms there's has to be room for communication.

  • edithch
    by edithch
    October 16, 2012 at 2:32 AM
    I dont know what im going to do when he gets a. new gf. But 8 weeks is nothing its still so fresh. That was such a jerk move from him.
  • steviechick
    October 16, 2012 at 10:13 AM


    Quoting Sj218:

    There was one affair and our divorce won't be final for a few months. But definately NOT what you had to go thorough. The whole thing sucks. Why can they just move on and have a life while we're left to deal with all the damage and destruction. I feel like I'm the one paying the consequences for his crappy decisions. Why doesn't he have to pay?


    Quoting steviechick:

    I found out during my separation that I was married to a sociopath.  He had been having an affair for three years and fathered two kids with this gf (now wife).  I also learned that my ex has a split-personality disorder.  Put these together and add severe money problems and you have my ex-husband.  It's the most shocking thing I've ever had to deal with and I hope I will ever have to deal with.  I've gone through hell and back with my ex.  How can he just up and have an affair - live a dual life for three years, create children with another woman and remain married and have a relationship with me while he was active duty?  The lies that my ex told me, my daughter, and his own parents will forever resonate with us.  We all have come to the conclusion that my ex is severely mentally unstable.  He even had the audacity to ask me to change our separation date to the date he became active duty just so he could convince his gf (now wife) and his employees that he had been separated the entire time he told them we were.  He tried to embezzle money from me while he was having an affair.  How can someone do this to his own wife of 26 years?   He should be put in front of a firing squad and have me pull the trigger. 


    You were divorced from your ex when he decided to move on.  Mine cheated on me for three years, and had children in the process.  He will continue to lie to his new wife, have money problems and more than likely cheat again.  I hope to hell that happens.  He deserves to be kicked into the gutter.



    I'm sorry you had to endure an affair, too.  Its incredibly disappointing all around.  In my case, since my ex had to have his sexual release with a co-worker (yes, they work together which makes it even more interesting) since that was the case even after he impregnated her why didn't he just leave me?   It's a question I can't even ask him.  My only answer is that the first baby wasn't even planned.  Idealistically BOTH of these idiots should have been using birth control since my ex was still married to me.  The second child also unplanned.  And, again, no birth control was needed.  And, again, we were still married.  My ex and the new wife live in a fairyland where they only think about themselves and not the consequences of what they do to others.  My ex is 53.  He is a father to two kids 2 and 1 years old.  I can't imagine giving my children a father of that age.  He will always look and act like a grandfather to those kids.  I know that alone will be a deterrant to a 'happy' marriage.  I see karma biting my ex and his new wife in the rearend.  My ex can't afford these kids and he certainly isn't ready to become a father at his age again.  This is what keeps me in my happy zone.  Of course the kids will be the ones hurting in the end.  They deserved better in life.  I'm getting over the destruction slowly but surely.  Yes, the ex and his new wife have started a life together.  But, I can honestly say that this kind of life isn't one that will be filled with rainbows and sunshine. 

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