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hollinicole
Why did my daddy not want me...
October 14, 2012 at 7:02 PM
So my soon to be 6 year old DD is super smart and has always had questions about "dad". I have always been able to give some kind of answer, with help from here, well today a movie was playing while I was cleaning and she stopped to look and the little girl said " your dad left before you were born, he did not want you" I changed the tv, by then the wheels in her head were just a going. About 15mins ago she came to ask me was that true for her? Why did her daddy not want her? I really can't answer that question for her the way she want. I tried the normal he was not ready and all that but she said no mommy really why? I just don't know what do say. I wish he had to look into them big brown eyes and answer this question his self, but I have not heard from him in almost 3 years. Have no way of contacting him either.I just hate this part of being mommy.

Replies

  • Gina_C
    by Gina_C
    October 14, 2012 at 7:05 PM
    *Hugs*. I think this is the one thing I dread the most, having to explain that to my son, and then raise him to be the exact opposite kind of man his "father" is.. I wish I had some advice for you, but I think maybe honesty is the best thing.
  • faerie75
    October 14, 2012 at 7:06 PM
    Just tell her that you don't know. It's the truth.
  • annas_momma
    October 14, 2012 at 7:39 PM
    I really do know how you feel. My daughter will be 6 next month and her father hasn't been around in over 5 years (since she was 3 months old).

    We have this conversation often and I always tell her that of course he loves her. He just had to leave and go back home. (He is from PA we are in AL).


    If you ever need someone to talk to about these things feel free to write me anytime
  • Zacknalexmom
    October 14, 2012 at 8:04 PM
    I would be honest with her. Don't keep anything from her. She's at the age she's understanding things. When my kids were her age they began asking me about their dad. Even though he wanted to be with them it was court ordered he had no visitation with them due to his drug problem and anger issues. I told my kids everything. Good luck
  • angie2568
    October 14, 2012 at 8:31 PM

    I have gone through this with my kids. I told them that he loves them very much, he just cant be responsible enough to be a parent, but he does love you and get updates about school, dr & dentist visits and photos of yall through the years. It was a revolving door off and on for years but now no contact for the kids to him. (14 yr daughter and 8 yr son).

    My youngest is 4 his father was involved the first year but not since, only gets photos and yearly updates. He knows his name and that he loves him but I told him I dont know why he doesnt come but he does love you.

    Thats all I have known to say and it seems to work.

    Good luck Mama - it is really hard but just hang in there believe me I know how your heart aches bc you want him to be there for your child.

  • LifeCafe42
    October 14, 2012 at 8:33 PM
    Tell her the truth it's hard but reminder her about the special family you have and how much love is there
  • tyfry7496
    October 14, 2012 at 9:11 PM
    This.

    Quoting LifeCafe42:

    Tell her the truth it's hard but reminder her about the special family you have and how much love is there
  • Luv.My.Kidz
    October 14, 2012 at 9:17 PM

    You answered right.... "He wasn't ready to be a Daddy! Some boys are never ready to become men and take care of their responsibilty!"

    I've always been honest with my kids. My youngest son's sperm donor walked out and never looked back. It's been 4 1/2 years since we split up and 31/2 since he's disappeared. I have a way to contact him.... but I refuse to. I don't want him around. Because he's going to lie to my son. He's going to tell him that I kicked him out and forced him away, and changed my phone numbers and moved etc. My house # has been the same # for 5 years... hasn't changed. My e-mail has been the same for 15 yrs, he knows my facebook, twitter, etc. He CHOOSES not to message. DF and I already have a lawyer writing up the paperwork for both of my kids to have DF adopt both of them 6 months after we're married which is just before their birthday so we're going to celebrate both that year. I've been keeping everything hush hush on FB so my oldest son's nosey ex step mom doesn't run back to my ex and try and stop it :P

  • Robsessed98
    October 14, 2012 at 9:33 PM
    Tell her the truth, that you really dont know. Remind her that yall are doing just fine without him, and that you love her enough for the both of you.
  • Mommyto2LilMen
    October 14, 2012 at 9:56 PM

    How sad...just be honest with her..tell her the truth. 

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