Single Moms

erinmomofone
Are they right?
October 11, 2012 at 9:39 AM
Why do I listen to what people say? Why do I let it bother me like it does? I know that I shouldn't it doesn't matter what people say about being a young mom but what if it's true. What if I don't do all my goals? what if really I am a bad mom because I kept my daughter and now we are struggling just to make it by? I don't want to believe what people say but....I just think about it all the time when someone tells me that I am not good enough, or I am not a good mom, or I'll never make it in this world because I had my baby early in my life I believe them. I have been doing it for almost 5 years but now it's all different I worked but I was not providing for the house hold. My daughters father did now I am doing it all. I need to not listen to anyone but that's a challenge...Knowwhat I mean?

Thanks for reading....as you can tell I need support.

Replies

  • simplyamazing3
    October 11, 2012 at 9:53 AM

    i got pregnant at 19 had my child at 20. i been struggling with no help from my daughters father and its hard as hell.. your not a failure. your struggling but what parent doesnt struggle whether with the other person involved or not keep your head up. if you need someone to talk to please message me. keep your head held high smile for you are raising your kids and thats a MOM.............

  • erinmomofone
    October 11, 2012 at 9:56 AM
    Thank you means a lot...I was younger then 19 I am 19 now.thanks again.


    Quoting simplyamazing3:

    i got pregnant at 19 had my child at 20. i been struggling with no help from my daughters father and its hard as hell.. your not a failure. your struggling but what parent doesnt struggle whether with the other person involved or not keep your head up. if you need someone to talk to please message me. keep your head held high smile for you are raising your kids and thats a MOM.............


  • devynsmommy09
    October 11, 2012 at 10:04 AM

    Don't listen to what other people say.  You are a single mother and you do the best you can.  Thats all you can do. 

    It takes some huge ovaries to take on the responsiblity of being a single mother.  It proves that you are strong, you are determined and if you can do this, you can really do anything.

    Plus, I don't see anyone bashing the men who leave their kids!!!  Why is it that the women are the only ones responsible for the children when it takes two? 

    Anyway, the best thing you can do for both of you is to get educated, get a good job and live your life. 

  • moosesmom
    October 11, 2012 at 10:06 AM
    Do you hear what you're saying? Re-read your entire post. People have been doubling but for the last 5 years you've managed to do alright by your daughter. If anything you're a great mom. You're doing what needs to be done to make sure she has food, clothing, and love!! That's more than other moms can say. People WILL ALWAYS have something to say...keep doing you :-)
  • devynsmommy09
    October 11, 2012 at 10:16 AM

    To expand on that, I think the biggest problem that we face as single mothers is self doubt.

    In most (not all, but most) situations, the only thing holding us back is us telling ourselves that we cant do something. 

    I finished college while working full time, I worked my a** off and got it done.  I have a decent job (always looking for a better one).  Right now my biggest obstacle is buying a house.  I didnt realize it but I had accepted that as a single mom, I was never going to own my own house.  I have like zero credit and I barely make enough money to save up 10% for any decent house.  But you know what?  A few months ago, I started picking up odd jobs a few times a week and the money I've saved along with my tax return will put me over halfway there.

    Its all about the way that you think.  Don't think you CANT do somthing...think I know its going to be hard but HOW can I do it.  Don't accept failure as a possiblity and everything gets so much easier!

  • lnrmom
    by lnrmom
    October 11, 2012 at 10:42 AM

    I had both of my girls at 19. While I was briefly married to the youngest's dad, I have been a single mom for 90% of their lives. (they were like 2 when we separated for good). I rarely ever get help. I have a bf now, but we are not married. He helps me out tremendously though now.

    Since having kids I have worked up to 3 jobs. I now have a BS, an MBA and am beginning work on a doctorate's in Organizational Behavior. My girls are four years from graduating high school (both of them - they are 10 months a part and 1 year a part in school). I work full time and have a good job with the state.

    You can do it. Don't listen to the naysayers. Cut all negativity from your life. If they are not for you, they are against you. Take hold of the reins and hold on tight. YOU CAN DO IT.

  • MommysTimeOut5
    October 11, 2012 at 10:49 AM

    Yes, I understand what it is like to be criticized. you just have to know to use what others say and motivation to prove them wrong. You are human so you will always care about what people say. Just learn to change it to something positive as hard as that is. 

  • h_minkus
    October 11, 2012 at 10:59 AM
    Whether it is or isn't true, it doesn't matter. You are going to do the best you can because thats what we do. It's not anyone elses business. :) the fact that you even posted this shows how much you care. Just remember, you don't have to prove anything to anybody. Easier said than done, I know.
  • erinmomofone
    October 11, 2012 at 11:03 AM
    Thank you everyone! I needed it! I always get comments and it's do hard on me to not listen.
  • erinmomofone
    October 11, 2012 at 11:07 AM
    Yeah but when she grows up will she still understand?


    Quoting moosesmom:

    Do you hear what you're saying? Re-read your entire post. People have been doubling but for the last 5 years you've managed to do alright by your daughter. If anything you're a great mom. You're doing what needs to be done to make sure she has food, clothing, and love!! That's more than other moms can say. People WILL ALWAYS have something to say...keep doing you :-)

Single Moms