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Lurion
Male Virgins/Whores
by Lurion
October 10, 2012 at 9:54 AM

You know how they say that throughout history, women are seen as either virgins or whores. There are the ones men want to marry and the ones they just f***?

Seems so demeaning to reduce a woman to those stereotypes.

So I'm wondering if we do the same thing to men, when the ones we want to f*** don't turn out to be the best husbands/fathers.

When they don't love us forever and meet our needs and be the kind of father we think they should, do they go from being...whatever the male version of a virgin and a whore is? 




Replies

  • devynsmommy09
    October 10, 2012 at 10:45 AM

    Maybe.  I married my HS sweetheard and I totally thought he was my prince charming.  He asked my dad if he could marry me (I had never heard of that before).  He remembered little things like our anniversary (took me YEARS to remember it on time) and our firsts for a lot of things...Loved animals, loved kids, etc.

    Now, he's the scum of the earth to me.  We briefly got engaged again earlier this year (stupidity) and I refused to sleep with him even though we already had a kid.  I don't talk to him unless I have to.  Won't keep a job/doesnt try to see his kid regularly.  He has totally bombed my expectations of him as a man and a father.

    I'm not sure if I put him in the "whore" category but I do think of him very unfavorably.

  • Cenedra64
    October 10, 2012 at 10:48 AM
    Yeah its a stupid stereotype. I've had the weird luck of having two men in my life who were virgins. I was their first. Relationships lasted long time. But men always get curious what another woman is like.
  • steviechick
    October 10, 2012 at 11:00 AM

    My ex turned out to be a lying cheating piece of garbage.  26 years ago I would NEVER put him into this category.  He was a rebel without a cause - just wee bit.  FF to 23 years after we met and he started to cheat on me, could care less about his financial responsibilities, fathered two kids out of wedlock because he's a complete jackass, and ended up being a 53 year old financial deadbeat married to someone 16 years his junior.  He would be considered a loser more than anything else in my book.  Whore - not yet.  However, he's been a flirt for most of our marriage, so I can't really count him out of that category......just yet.....

  • faerie75
    October 10, 2012 at 3:05 PM

     i dont try to feed into that shit. when i was single i fucked around. when im in a relationship, i dont. lol. i could give a fuck what anyone thinks. i dnt really think its anyones business.

  • flawskii
    October 10, 2012 at 5:23 PM

    this!

    Quoting faerie75:

     i dont try to feed into that shit. when i was single i fucked around. when im in a relationship, i dont. lol. i could give a fuck what anyone thinks. i dnt really think its anyones business.


  • Robsessed98
    October 10, 2012 at 6:22 PM
    Yep. Dont buy into stupid stereotypes.

    Quoting flawskii:

    this!

    Quoting faerie75:

     i dont try to feed into that shit. when i was single i fucked around. when im in a relationship, i dont. lol. i could give a fuck what anyone thinks. i dnt really think its anyones business.


  • queensweet
    October 10, 2012 at 9:44 PM
    Quoting Cenedra64:

    Yeah its a stupid stereotype. I've had the weird luck of having two men in my life who were virgins. I was their first. Relationships lasted long time. But men always get curious what another woman is like.

    Generally speaking, men are not monogamous creatures. if they dont physically cheat they do so with there eyes and in there hearts. I have learned to accept this. if you get a man that only wants to be with you, you hit the jackpot.
  • Lurion
    by Lurion
    October 11, 2012 at 2:00 AM

    Interesting answers...thanks! 

    I was thinking less literally/sexually--more like do we completely write them off as human beings and call them  a*holes, losers, deadbeats, and overlook that they are complex human beings. Some good some bad? 

    I see a lot of venting about our exes (and do my share, too!) and sometimes just wonder if we're giving them a fair shake. 

  • Cenedra64
    October 11, 2012 at 7:44 AM
    You got that right.

    Quoting queensweet:

    Quoting Cenedra64:

    Yeah its a stupid stereotype. I've had the weird luck of having two men in my life who were virgins. I was their first. Relationships lasted long time. But men always get curious what another woman is like.

    Generally speaking, men are not monogamous creatures. if they dont physically cheat they do so with there eyes and in there hearts. I have learned to accept this. if you get a man that only wants to be with you, you hit the jackpot.
  • mrsary
    by mrsary
    October 11, 2012 at 8:07 AM
    I think we as the mothers give the men their fair share. Out in the world everyone prob thinks they are so wonderful anyway. Smh. Men get so many props for the work we do!


    Quoting Lurion:

    Interesting answers...thanks! 

    I was thinking less literally/sexually--more like do we completely write them off as human beings and call them  a*holes, losers, deadbeats, and overlook that they are complex human beings. Some good some bad? 

    I see a lot of venting about our exes (and do my share, too!) and sometimes just wonder if we're giving them a fair shake. 


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