Single Moms

erinmomofone
How would my life be?
October 6, 2012 at 7:59 PM
Please don't get me wrong I love my daughter more than the world but I sit here at home watching Disney channel I think how would my life be different if I waited to have sex. Would I be in a 4 year college? Would I have more friends? Would I get to be a normal teenager? What would have been my relationship with my daughters dad? I don't know why I am thinking this because I love my daughter more then anything, I would rather have her then be out. Maybe it's because I am having a challenging time with all that's been going on. I don't like living back at home and getting no space and my daughter is still having a challenging time with being away from her father.

Wow I didn't think my post would be so popular.Please don't get me wrong I love my little girl with all my heart and the thoughts I have aren't going to change how much I love her. Another thing my daughter is 4 so I have been a mom for a while however I am new to the single mommy life.

Replies

  • mrsary
    by mrsary
    October 6, 2012 at 9:14 PM
    Whoa... no wonder u feel the way u do! U had a kid as a kid. U have tackled the most irritating years (toddlerhood). My eldest is 7 & she became self sufficient around 6.


    Quoting erinmomofone:

    I am 19 my daughter is 4 but will be 5 in janurary. I am sure I'll have some fun once my daughter grows up.




    Quoting Kaya529:

    How old are you and DD?

    My mom was real young but now at 40 she is going to concerts, trips, and kinds of stuff she missed out on when she was younger. I had my fun early on but will be 50 by the time DS is an adult. She has a lot more money to have her fun while I am struggling at 33 to catch up cause I went through the little but I had having fun before.
    Quoting erinmomofone:

    I was really young when I had Kyleigh. I love hanging out with my daughter but I still have those what if thoughts.











    Quoting Kaya529:

    I would still be in party mode but I was 32 when I had Aiden and got to live it up first. I would much rather hang out with him now.



  • erinmomofone
    October 6, 2012 at 9:17 PM
    Yeah because I made not the best choice in my life but it's ok I have my daughter who's my life she pushes me to do everything. I don't mind the toddler years (I want to own a daycare)


    Quoting mrsary:

    Whoa... no wonder u feel the way u do! U had a kid as a kid. U have tackled the most irritating years (toddlerhood). My eldest is 7 & she became self sufficient around 6.




    Quoting erinmomofone:

    I am 19 my daughter is 4 but will be 5 in janurary. I am sure I'll have some fun once my daughter grows up.






    Quoting Kaya529:

    How old are you and DD?

    My mom was real young but now at 40 she is going to concerts, trips, and kinds of stuff she missed out on when she was younger. I had my fun early on but will be 50 by the time DS is an adult. She has a lot more money to have her fun while I am struggling at 33 to catch up cause I went through the little but I had having fun before.
    Quoting erinmomofone:

    I was really young when I had Kyleigh. I love hanging out with my daughter but I still have those what if thoughts.














    Quoting Kaya529:

    I would still be in party mode but I was 32 when I had Aiden and got to live it up first. I would much rather hang out with him now.




  • mrsary
    by mrsary
    October 6, 2012 at 9:19 PM
    Oh, cool!


    Quoting erinmomofone:

    Yeah because I made not the best choice in my life but it's ok I have my daughter who's my life she pushes me to do everything. I don't mind the toddler years (I want to own a daycare)




    Quoting mrsary:

    Whoa... no wonder u feel the way u do! U had a kid as a kid. U have tackled the most irritating years (toddlerhood). My eldest is 7 & she became self sufficient around 6.






    Quoting erinmomofone:

    I am 19 my daughter is 4 but will be 5 in janurary. I am sure I'll have some fun once my daughter grows up.








    Quoting Kaya529:

    How old are you and DD?

    My mom was real young but now at 40 she is going to concerts, trips, and kinds of stuff she missed out on when she was younger. I had my fun early on but will be 50 by the time DS is an adult. She has a lot more money to have her fun while I am struggling at 33 to catch up cause I went through the little but I had having fun before.
    Quoting erinmomofone:

    I was really young when I had Kyleigh. I love hanging out with my daughter but I still have those what if thoughts.

















    Quoting Kaya529:

    I would still be in party mode but I was 32 when I had Aiden and got to live it up first. I would much rather hang out with him now.





  • LoveMyTrio
    October 7, 2012 at 2:50 PM

    It would probably be exactly as you imagine it would be, but there would be one very important person missing from the picture.  You are her mother for a reason, and we are only parents for a fraction of our lives.  Cherrish every moment. ((hugs))

  • erinmomofone
    October 7, 2012 at 2:54 PM
    I know I got the perfect little girl in my life and I would not change her for the world but with all that has been going on recently I just have those crazy thoughts. No way would I give up my daughter to have all those things.


    Quoting LoveMyTrio:

    It would probably be exactly as you imagine it would be, but there would be one very important person missing from the picture.  You are her mother for a reason, and we are only parents for a fraction of our lives.  Cherrish every moment. ((hugs))


  • Ballad
    by Ballad
    October 8, 2012 at 12:17 AM

    A case of the "what if's" now and then is natural, but don't 'if' yourself to death.  You'll drive yourself crazy and get nowhere with those kind of thoughts.  It's everything we go through that makes us who we are.  And every day, no matter what, we get another chance to move closer to whatever it is we want to be.

  • blessedwith
    October 8, 2012 at 12:28 AM

    Regretting a decision that might not have been the best for you (having sex before you were really ready for the results) doesn't negate being thankful and loving the results....  She is a blessing....:)

  • michiganmom5150
    October 8, 2012 at 12:34 AM
    I still wonder what would have happened if I had gotten in her car with her the night before my wedding 12 years ago and hadn't married my abusive sociopath. You can what if yourself crazy! Enjoy the now, your reality. It goes by way too fast.
  • LaDonna_d
    October 8, 2012 at 12:42 AM
    For myself, life without my eldest (I was 17 when I got pregnant with her), would have been over quickly I believe. I was on a very self destructive path (I had already been on my own for a year). Getting pregnant young, for me, presented me with two options; raise my child in the environment I was raised in (stay on the path I was on), or raising her with a chance at a happy, emotionally healthy life. I chose the latter. I may not have been a perfect mother (far from it!), but I gave all of my children a much better chance then I had and I wouldn't change a thing
  • Robsessed98
    October 8, 2012 at 12:42 AM
    Wondering what might have been is perfectly normal and theress nothing wrong with it as long as you dont fixate on it. It certainly doesnt mean you dont love your daughter or that you regret having her. A few hours ago I was thinking about how my life would have turned out had I stayed with my first love 30 years ago. Im sure it would have been a good life, but if I had stayed with him I wouldnt be sitting here right now watching my beautiful grandsons sleeping and know that I lived the life I should have lived instead of the one that could have been.

Single Moms