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Are you ready for a new relationship?
October 5, 2012 at 2:47 PM

I saw this in The Stir - Do you exhibit any of these signs of not being ready to move on?

15 Signs That You're NOT Ready for a Relationship

Posted by Aunt Becky on October 4, 2012 

Turn on any movie or television show and you'll quickly be inundated with the idea that if you don't have a romantic relationship, there's clearly something wrong with you and you're going to end up sitting alone at weddings without a Plus One for the rest of your life.

It's not true.

And it's also not a good idea to jump into a relationship if you're simply not ready for one. So how do you know if you should take the leap? Let's find out some signs that you're NOT ready for a relationship yet.

1) You're miserable, unhappy with your situation in life. If you try to jump into a relationship while you're depressed, chances are you're going to attract the wrong type of partner. Happiness comes from within.

2) Like it or not, you're still in love with your ex.

3) You're too busy working on your own life to devote any time to anyone else.

4) You find yourself attracted over and over to the wrong guys, in a subconscious way to sabotage the relationship before it begins.

More from The Stir: 8 Hints He's Blowing You Off - And What You Need to Do About It

5) You believe that a partner will be the one thing that brings you happiness in life.

6) He's a lost puppy and you want to save him, fix him up, and make him whole again. The dysfunction that creates in your life leads to the drama fixing him creates.

7) You believe that white knight is going to swoop in and "save" you.

8) You're more concerned with finding a partner than with anything else in your life.

9) You're more concerned with changing yourself to fit a potential partner than you are with being your true self.

10) You're still healing from past failed romantic relationships.

11) You haven't begun to take responsibility for your role in the demise of previous relationships. We must LEARN from our past, not be mired in it.

12) You're desperately insecure and convinced that a relationship will help you feel less so.

13) You don't love and accept yourself as you really are. This makes it impossible for a partner to love and accept you as you are.

14) You've just bounced from one relationship and are already looking for the next. Give yourself time to heal, hard as it may be.

15) You want a relationship to distract you from your emotional pain and suffering. Instead, learn to sit with your pain and work through it before jumping into a new romance.

Any other signs you may not be ready for another romantic relationship?


  • ochoa.mama
    October 6, 2012 at 6:04 AM

    thank you for the info, I pretty much see now why my 4yr relationship didnt work, can't save the depressed and turn out happy....

  • LifeCafe42
    October 6, 2012 at 9:29 AM
    I see why every relationship I've had has failed lol I do t think I've ever been ready
  • Musiq_Junkie
    October 6, 2012 at 10:37 AM
    I KNOW im not ready!!!im havin problems letting go of my bitterness against my ex.
  • lmp09
    by lmp09
    October 6, 2012 at 4:16 PM
    I know I am not ready, our divorce isn't final yet. And I am not even worried about finding someone. My stbexh and myself just had our 2nd boy Sept 28th. My boys take all my attention.
  • KRIZZ25
    by KRIZZ25
    October 6, 2012 at 4:24 PM
    WE UR hart has healed from the last guy ..wen u are hole..
  • CampClan
    October 6, 2012 at 5:45 PM

    WOW! There are several things here (if not all) that I am still going through (minus the one about wanting to save "him" like a lost puppy).

    I have yet to have that rebound relationship since my divorce. I want to get it done & over with if you KWIM.

  • ieashar1
    October 7, 2012 at 1:41 AM

    I  experienced a similar situation last year but I talked my issues with someone I trusted and worked through them. You have to ask god to help you through it and move on because he has. It's easier said then done but stay strong and in time you will heal. You can reply to this message if you want to talk about this further.

  • heathermichelle
    October 7, 2012 at 1:50 AM

    I am far from ready

  • Bluerivergirl
    October 7, 2012 at 6:53 AM

    I 'm pretty sure that "I don't know" probably means "no", but I don't know.  Isn't everyone a work in progress? 

  • Cenedra64
    October 7, 2012 at 8:26 AM
    I needed to read this right now. Its not me trying to get into another relationship. All my friends keep trying to hook me up. I told them im not ready. I need my life together. Right when i said that my ex boyfriend text after two weeks wants to know if i want to see a pic of him naked. How sick is that. I blew up! His brother called ME making threats. Unreal!!! I had to file a police report and change my # friday. I'm so not wanting a relationship!

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