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hheartt
Introduction and My story
by hheartt
October 3, 2012 at 10:24 PM

LIke everyone here I wouldn't be in a single Moms group if I wasn't going to be becoming a single mom.  I was an idiot, had sex with my ex of almost 4 years to see if I could finally walk away from him and be okay on a Friday the 13th back in April, and what do you know?  Birth control failed... But at least I now know that I can get pregnant (never believed I could as I never even got a "scare" with my ex-husband years ago and we weren't using any birth control) and I'm getting a little girl.  

I'm scared to death about being a bad mom or her not getting what she needs from me.  I'm scared of letting my ex boyfriend be involved with her because of how much he hurt me and I don't want him to do that with her.  I'm scared his family (who has money and I'm struggling to get by) are going to try to take her from me.  And I feel alone, I feel like any chance I have of him and I finding some type of working relationship will never happen because he's constatnly angry at me and trying to blame me for getting pregnant (i.e. I did this on purpose crap) and will not even try communicating with me.  And I'm afraid that this means I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.  Because my daughter is going to be my life and my sorry butt is still in love with him, even if he's a self centered narcassist who can't be out of a relationship for more than a week with a habit of lying instead of talking to people.  

I just don't want to "screw up my daughter" I want her to have a good life surrounded by people who love her, care for her, and show her how to be strong and independent instead of a father who resents her because he's having to put her first instead of himself for a change.  

Sorry to unleash on an introduction I just had a lot building up I guess.  

Thanks for reading

Heather

Replies

  • Robsessed98
    October 4, 2012 at 1:06 PM
    Welcome to the group. All your fears are normal. Just know that whe, the time comes you can and will be able to do it, either with him or alone. Please never allow your personal feelings or relationship interfere with allowing him to be a dad. Yalls problems are about you and him... His relationship with the child is a totally separate matter. If hes willing to step up and be a dad, please let him for your childs sake.

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