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Orlandosmom
Having a hard time dealing with being a single parent
October 1, 2012 at 1:13 AM
so I just gave birth to my son almost 2 weeks ago and me and his father are not together anymore and we haven't been together for a while it's been off and on for over 3 1/2 years but all he wants to do is party and be with other girls he told me he wasn't ready to be in a relationship but it seems as though after our son was born he's been searching for a gf and it looks like he has found someone he is interested in but I feel like why couldn't you commit to me but some random girl can come and change all that in two seconds it's really hard trying to raise our son who looks just like him and also at the same time trying to get over his father and he also comes over to visit with him so I see him a lot my heart feels like it's broken into a million different pieces and all I wanted was my little family to be together I feel like I have failed

Replies

  • norwgnwood
    October 1, 2012 at 1:23 AM
    You're not a failure! Fuck your ex! Well not literally. Leave that to the trash he's dating. You've got your little man to think about. My ex sounds just like yours. Total loser. My son also looked just like him after he was born but that didnt last long. :-) Being a single mom is awesome. Theres no one to fight with or take my attention from my kids. I don't have to shave on a regular basis. My kids are raised the way I want them to be and I don't have to comprise with anyone. Sure its hard sometimes but I really do prefer it. Maybe I'll met someone one day that's worth my time but I'm in no hurry. You can do it! Now go love on that baby!
  • Orlandosmom
    October 1, 2012 at 1:43 AM
    Thank you! I really needed to hear that and trust me I am loving on my son all day everyday :) he's my heart
  • ReglaCaridad
    October 1, 2012 at 2:13 AM
    You are NOT failure and can NOT take the blame for the actions of a coward! I know it hurts because I am going through the same thing. I hoped that I too would finally have my little family, but its not working out that way. I am 22 weeks along and the break just hapened. I walked away because I have to think about and protect my baby. Crying and feeling sad will only hurt her. You are probably stronger than you realize. Focus on the love you have for your baby he needs to feel your happy and positive energy. Unfortunately, for us there are a lot of little boys out there disguised in mens bodies and most of them do not know what it is to have a family, they don't know how to love or receive love, but thats not your fault or problem. You will be fine and I have faith that I will be too! A big cyber hug to you! :-)
  • lissetteP
    October 1, 2012 at 2:16 AM
    Well look at the bright side..atleast he care about his kid.. my dds dad is a deadbeat that never sees our DD and I'm still inloved with his bitch ass....its sooo hard ..we have to try our hardest to get over these douche bags...we deserve waaay better....he's out their mama we just gotta be patient
  • Gina_C
    by Gina_C
    October 1, 2012 at 3:25 AM
    I've been a single mom from day one and I love it. Just me and little man. I know it's hard and this definitely wasn't my life plan either. But life happens and you just make do with what ya got :) Try to just enjoy this time because it's true when everyone tells you it flies by. You don't need a sorry POS like that anyway
  • Bluerivergirl
    October 1, 2012 at 5:51 AM

    Listen,  I stayed with my abussive ex for 10 years before finally kicking his ass out.  If there is one thing, and one thing only, I would wish for above ALL ELSE, it is that I had left him from DAY ! !!!!  My son is now emotionally injurred, we are outcasts in our neighborhood, and I am 40 yrs old so my prospects for true love and more babies are truly lessened. 


    This imature and irresponsible person is doing you a huge favor by letting you go, believe me!  People do not change that much.  Do you really want to have to be sucked into his dysfunctional behavior and co-dependent family, for the rest of your life?  NO!!!   


    Feeling all the pain you are feeling right now is part of your journey.  You are not going to live there, and I see many beautiful opportunities in your present and future.  Trust the journey. 


    luvlexi

  • texoma2
    by texoma2
    October 1, 2012 at 11:09 AM

    U are actually in a way better situation than you can imagine! Time will allow you to see that.

  • PaperClip811
    October 1, 2012 at 11:16 AM

    you havent failed. It's hard, I know-- but you need to take the focus off of him-- it will never make sense, and just focus on you and the baby. 

  • Orlandosmom
    October 1, 2012 at 11:37 AM
    Thanks ladies I really don't have many friends to turn to and the couple of friends I do have seem to get pleasure from what I am going through so I just keep it to myself
  • LifeCafe42
    October 1, 2012 at 12:03 PM
    Welcome to the group!!! It took a bit but I'm in such a better place and me and DS are both happier than we would have been

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