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Traceyssel
Do you have a contract?
June 28, 2012 at 8:56 AM

My son's biological father and I have agreed to parenting time arrangements over the phone. Am I being weird about typing it out, having him read it and sign it?

Replies

  • BonneVie
    June 28, 2012 at 9:02 AM
    I think that is smart. To be more protected, have it notorized. Nothing holds up 100% unlesd its filed with the courts, though. I learned that the hard way.
  • aahudson
    June 28, 2012 at 9:15 AM


    Not at all, and if you don't do that at least e-mail him with a summary of the conversation and agreement. If you can't prove you have an agreement when he breaks it then you have nothing. Even if you guys are friendly right now it is always good to follow up in writing with a summary of the conversation. 

    For example. I'm just following up with you about our conversation yesterday. As I stated on the phone our son had a doctor's visit with Mr. Smith and he said that ......... You can even include scanned copies of the doctor visit paperwork. It shows you are encouraging a relationship. 


  • Traceyssel
    June 28, 2012 at 9:25 AM


    Quoting aahudson:


    Not at all, and if you don't do that at least e-mail him with a summary of the conversation and agreement. If you can't prove you have an agreement when he breaks it then you have nothing. Even if you guys are friendly right now it is always good to follow up in writing with a summary of the conversation. 

    For example. I'm just following up with you about our conversation yesterday. As I stated on the phone our son had a doctor's visit with Mr. Smith and he said that ......... You can even include scanned copies of the doctor visit paperwork. It shows you are encouraging a relationship. 


    Good idea! thanks :)

    I called him to discuss it...but his newest baby mama is in labor right now. LOL.

    He doesnt have email, but I have been sending him certified letters in the mail

  • HyperMom38
    June 28, 2012 at 9:44 AM

    No, you are not being weird- you are being smart.  An over the phone conversation you have no proof about won't hold up in a family court.  So you might as well get it in writing- just remember that it binds BOTH of you, not just him.

  • Tashia07
    June 28, 2012 at 9:51 AM

    I would also get that bad boy notarized, just in case you need it in the future!

  • steviechick
    June 28, 2012 at 9:53 AM

    I concur on the notarized document.  It isn't legal without that and getting a copy to the courts.

  • mommynac
    June 28, 2012 at 9:54 AM

    Nope. If I were you, I'd switch to email to save time. Sounds like a lot of work!

  • Traceyssel
    June 28, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    How do I get it notorized? Can't banks do that? Also, I'm unsure how to give it to the courts? I'm new to the court stuff.

    Quoting mommynac:

    Nope. If I were you, I'd switch to email to save time. Sounds like a lot of work!

    He doesnt have a computer, cant drive to the library (license is suspended for life), and doesnt know how to use a computer or internet.

  • fireangels2
    June 28, 2012 at 10:46 AM

    You are being very smart about this and I agree with the ladies about. Another you need to do is if there has been/ and in the future, save any text messages that seem important. Or even if you think they might be later, save those. Plans for you to exchange your child with him, if he starts willingly bailing on seeing your child, if he ever says anything bad about you or your child, etc. Even if things are good, they may be very useful later. They have saved my butt with my lawyer a few times with my ex. Same thing with voice mails. These most of the time can't be used in court, but a lawyer will be able to use them to build a case.

    A saying that I learned from being a CNA for over 12 years, "if it isn't in writing, it didn't happen." That always referred to us doing our charting and that documentation meant everything in our line of work.

  • Traceyssel
    June 28, 2012 at 11:10 AM


    Quoting fireangels2:

    You are being very smart about this and I agree with the ladies about. Another you need to do is if there has been/ and in the future, save any text messages that seem important. Or even if you think they might be later, save those. Plans for you to exchange your child with him, if he starts willingly bailing on seeing your child, if he ever says anything bad about you or your child, etc. Even if things are good, they may be very useful later. They have saved my butt with my lawyer a few times with my ex. Same thing with voice mails. These most of the time can't be used in court, but a lawyer will be able to use them to build a case.

    A saying that I learned from being a CNA for over 12 years, "if it isn't in writing, it didn't happen." That always referred to us doing our charting and that documentation meant everything in our line of work.

    That's how I have a restraining order agaisnt him. He use to text me threatening, intimidating, hateful text messages. I got a lawyer and showed the judge. There were over 100 of them.

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