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JanaeMarie
Anybody tired of being a single mom?
March 15, 2011 at 9:12 PM

I need to know how do you cope with being a single mom? I will be basically be a single mom within a few weeks. Sometimes it doesn't bother me but sometimes it does...I didn't make this baby by myself but my child's father is just a mean, spiteful and cold-hearted person. I love my daughter and will die trying to give her the world. But it just gets so lonely sometimes. I know that I'm a good person and deserve happiness. But sometimes I honestly feel like I messed up in life or that I'm being punished by the child's father because he left.

And I just for once would like to know what real love looks and feels like. My father committed suicide when I was 8 months old so I NEVER knew him. Now my mom is beginning to go through a divorce because my step dad just didn't do...ANYTHING!!

I know some of you are probably thinking why would you put yourself in the predicament but come on no one can ever tell how someone will be. People change and their true colors come out.

I mean my mom is a strong person and she says that she is happy to be getting a divorce. She says she feels free and not burdened or held down by his lazy ways of doing..NOTHING. She says she will get married again because she believes in Love.  My mom has gone 18 years of being a parent. But I have a long way to go and I don't know how I can get over being a single mom.

I graduate this semester in May but sometimes I feel like its all for nothing because I got pregnant. I was always focused in school. I was on the Dean's List, received a FULL tuition scholarship, Honor Roll all through grade school. Although please don't get me wrong, I will try my hardest to keep up my grades and find and land a great job. But sometimes it just gets so lonely. I just feel like how did I get my smart educated self into a situation like this? Can anybody relate?

Replies

  • kyliesmommy7
    September 20, 2011 at 6:32 AM
    I know how you feel i just had this convo with a another soon to be single mom last night its not easy not fair and then if they take you to court they get rights bull i carried this baby for 9 months technically 10 and i have been here since day one taking care of her but you know what we are strong and we will get through this all trust me i was very sick while pregnant i had to be hospitalized and had my gull bladder takin out all while kylies "dad" treated me horriable an continues to do so i did nothing to him yet he said i ruined his life really.... well word of encourgement you can do it you dont need him and yes i know it gets lonely and i know help would be nice but just keep your head up and be the best mom u can
  • boopers29
    September 20, 2011 at 8:11 AM

    i remember being a young single mom and hating it. and when igot remarried i vowed to never be a single mom again no mater what bump comes along the road of marriage. We had a few. But now tht im older and single again i dont mind so much. It gets better.  

  • SunshineMommy74
    February 5, 2013 at 11:49 PM
    I am in the same position, but I am much older than you. I am also very nervous about being a single mom. I found out after I was pregnant with my second baby; she is 6 months old now; that my husband was meeting people on craigslist's sex personal ads. I am completely stressed out now because I am getting ready to go through a custody hearing. Even though my lawyer assures me that it will be fine, I am still a nervous wreck. I can't believe that I even have to go to court to make sure I get full custody of my babies. I feel like I'm having a horrible nightmare and I cant wake up. I am trying to stay positive. I think that I will feel better when all of the legal issues involved are over.
  • raegan1221
    February 5, 2013 at 11:54 PM

     Yes, it's exhausting and I am tired of it. Although I do have a bf..we dont live together or anything. It gets lonely, I'm in debt up to my ears and never finished school. I think you sound like you're doing great. And I am glad to see you're doing so well! :)

  • MsLogansMommy
    February 6, 2013 at 2:01 AM

    im not going to lie...it sucks being a single mom im so tired of doing it all by myself

  • Musiq_Junkie
    February 6, 2013 at 3:37 AM
    Ur definitely right! God doesnt make mistakes. I used to beat myself up about it all the time, but one day my dad told me this situation isnt about you, it could be a lesson to someone else who's going through the same thing watching u. Congrats to u graduating in May! Im sure ur going to be a great mother with or without the dad. Ur babygirl will have someone to love her unconditionally. I always tell myself my daughter's dad may bot be around but shes got a hell of alot of ppl who truly love her!!!and in the end thats all that matters. The pieces will fall exactly the way their supposed to in God's timing. (sorry not tryna go into sermon mode but wooo i done been through some thangs & know things can get better with a little faith & hard work...you'll see!)
  • steviechick
    February 6, 2013 at 10:59 AM

    I was married for 26 years before my ex proved what kind of a 'man' he was.  He ended up cheating on me for just over three years with a co-worker.  He even got her pregant twice.  Even when we were married I felt like a single mom a lot.  I paid the bills, watched the budget while my ex went through money like it was water, put himself into severe debt, watched him fail as a father time and time again,  and put up with my ex's anger management and complex personality for years.  I should get a medal for what I went through being married to him!  I'm much better off without that loser of ex in life.  I'm actually used to being a single mom.  I was even when I was married.  I know that's what has made me stronger in life.  Your academic accomplishments are fantastic.  There are a lot of single moms just trying to make ends meet.  It has to have been very hard raising a child while going to school and maintaining those good grades.  You have learned that even though you didn't pick out the right man for yourself and a father for your child, you have at least learned that getting that college degree will continue to improve your lifestyle and the life of your child.  Your ex is behind you.  Let him either be a father or not.  That's his decision to make.  Your child will see that at least his mother is a good person who actually works hard at maintaining a decent life.  You will soon learn that being a mom is the best job you can have. 

  • Jkia1boy
    February 6, 2013 at 12:48 PM
    Look, I'm going to keep it real. It is very hard being a single mom okay. I'm not going to sugar coat it. You are going to struggle financially,mentally and sometimes physically if it gets any tougher. Just try to stay in school and work hard to get a good job. Oh and you're going to get horny all the tine. Just keep your head up Mama and watch out for the Lion, Tiger and Bears (men).
  • Kelly1308
    February 7, 2013 at 7:21 PM

    I am going to say it like it is....Maybe this makes me sound week but here it goes....I am a 42 year old mom of an 8 year old soon to be 9 in a week.....his dad is not involved in his life but 3 or 4 hours a month......I have no support system where I live and even if I moved back to San Antonio where I am from, I wouldn't have any there either as I am not close to my family at all.  I tend to have turned into an intravert since my ex cheated came back and left again for the same woman.  I am a Teacher and work extremely hard with difficult children all day so when I get home I need a break.  My son wants my attn and all I want to do is scream at the top of my lungs that I need help, peace, and time to myself which I never get and forget a babysitter because I can't afford one.  Anyway, I have many days that I am absolutely tired of being a single mom with no support system at all in place.  You are lucky your mom will be helping. 

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