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JanaeMarie
Anybody tired of being a single mom?
March 15, 2011 at 9:12 PM

I need to know how do you cope with being a single mom? I will be basically be a single mom within a few weeks. Sometimes it doesn't bother me but sometimes it does...I didn't make this baby by myself but my child's father is just a mean, spiteful and cold-hearted person. I love my daughter and will die trying to give her the world. But it just gets so lonely sometimes. I know that I'm a good person and deserve happiness. But sometimes I honestly feel like I messed up in life or that I'm being punished by the child's father because he left.

And I just for once would like to know what real love looks and feels like. My father committed suicide when I was 8 months old so I NEVER knew him. Now my mom is beginning to go through a divorce because my step dad just didn't do...ANYTHING!!

I know some of you are probably thinking why would you put yourself in the predicament but come on no one can ever tell how someone will be. People change and their true colors come out.

I mean my mom is a strong person and she says that she is happy to be getting a divorce. She says she feels free and not burdened or held down by his lazy ways of doing..NOTHING. She says she will get married again because she believes in Love.  My mom has gone 18 years of being a parent. But I have a long way to go and I don't know how I can get over being a single mom.

I graduate this semester in May but sometimes I feel like its all for nothing because I got pregnant. I was always focused in school. I was on the Dean's List, received a FULL tuition scholarship, Honor Roll all through grade school. Although please don't get me wrong, I will try my hardest to keep up my grades and find and land a great job. But sometimes it just gets so lonely. I just feel like how did I get my smart educated self into a situation like this? Can anybody relate?

Replies

  • Anonymous 4
    by Anonymous 4
    April 2 at 8:29 PM

    I was a single mom, I got tired of feeling like I wasn't allowed to think about myself at all because my relationships didn't work (one was a marriage). People would say I should wait til the kids are out of school, that I shouldn't "parade" men around my kids and basically that a guy I was dating shouldn't be around the kids til we were engaged...all stupid. I don't care what anyone said. I did date, I just didn't introduce guys unless I thought it could be serious. My kids weren't effected. I went about a year and a half dating someone, seeing him just on weekends because of my kids, but we made it work and we are engaged and will be married in July. It is lonely to be a single mom, and there is no reason we shouldn't be allowed to find someone who we can marry and help us raise the kids. I'm glad I didn't listen to anyone. I did wait to move in with my fiance until we were engaged and we'll have lived together for over a year when we get married and together almost 3 years. 

    Don't feel bad. Wait for awhile to date until you get a little more established (finish school etc) and then go ahead and try dating. Is the baby's dad in the picture at all to take the baby on weekends or anything? Or do you have family that may help out once you are ready to date? Once you do, just take it really slow, just go on dates when your baby isn't with you (are you currently pregnant or how old is the baby?) Just give it some time and eventually you will be ready to find someone again, this time a better someone. It sucks being a single mom, but it is manageable when you focus on work/school and the kid for now.

  • deltathree
    April 4 at 6:02 PM

    How are you doing now?

  • kitcal78
    April 4 at 8:26 PM
    I've been a single mom since being pregnant back in 2011. In 2017 with a five year ole man. My son does behave like a grumpy old man single and parenting is hard. My let go of the hurt and lies from my son's father long before any of my family or bff did. I was ashamed for a long time for being a single mom. How could have been so selfish to put my child in this situation. I prayed about it. Mad poor relationship choices. I let go and gave it to God.

    I used to hear so many other single mommas on here say it time and time again. When the time is right it will happen. I'm engaged to the love of my life. Long story short I've known him for years as one of my brother's bffs. We talk about all the years we wasted not doing something sooner. We just chalked it up too it wasn't our time then.

    We loves my son as his own. He calls him our mini ole man. My son loves him and keeps asking us for a baby brother😮. The feeling of not wanting to be single and wonder when will it be my turn popped up here and there. I had to whisk those thoughts away. They are there and I am not going to feed you so you can weigh me down we worry, doubt, loneliness,etc.

    You have to figure out a menthod to not dwell on your singleness and how it sucks. For each person the balancing singleness is different.
  • kitcal78
    April 4 at 8:28 PM
    Dorry for the typos, grammar and poor spelling. I'm writing this in my phone.

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