Like if you were against CIO and they were for it, would you still be friends with them? Or if they are on strict schedules and you just go with the flow? How about vaxing and non vaxing? Would you still let them watch your kids? What are your experiences with this- have any of your friendships suffered because of this?
I DO NOT want to turn this into a bashing post, everybodys got their own opinion. Just curious as to how it would affect your friendships.
- Only group members can vote in this poll.
- 60% - Yes
- 31% - No
- 8% - Other
September 22, 2009 at 1:16 PM
So far I've not had a problem. My friends that have babies and me have actually gotten closer even though we don't parent the same. we actually will discuss the differences and why we prefer the way we do so there is not like, "OMG How can she do that?"
Now if they were abusive(in any for) thats different. And the vaccine issue might. I vaccinate and I wouldn't want my children being babysat by unvacc children because they could have the illness and not show signs yet and pass it to my dd who doesn't have all her vaccs yet, and there for isn't completely protected
September 22, 2009 at 1:16 PM
I've had two friends who do not discipline their very busy and aggressive children and as a result, we do not invite them to our home anymore. We tend to see them at other locations, but not very often.
September 22, 2009 at 1:17 PM
it has happened once... i just couldnt listen to her garbage anymore. psht, she rather buy good beer then better quality clothes for her kids, and thats only the tip of the iceberg...
September 22, 2009 at 1:18 PM
my sister in law is all about spoiling the hell out of her sons. she lets them stay up really late. she does not even know when they go to bed. she just allows them to stay up while she goes to bed at like 11. they are 8 and 10 now but she has been doing it like this forever now. She does not enforce homework or study skills. she allows them to stay in sports no matter how bad there grades are. They eat junk and sugar at all hours of the day. Im not really really strict. I allow my kids treats and they are aloud to stay up until 9 on the weekends. my kids play sports but have to keep up there grades and always have to do homework before play. even if it makes them late for practice. But I can never win. No matter how much I try to be a good mom and give them treats I still get the " But aunt mandi lets her kids do this and that and the other thing. " ugh. lol so venting. but really i say nothing to her but it bothers me. I don't think its my place to tell her that i do not agree with the way she parents. But really the less time i spend with her and her sons the better.
by rinoasmommySeptember 22, 2009 at 1:20 PM
Unfortunately, yes. I wish it didn't, but because of others' opinions of me, it has hurt our relationship. I practice AP, which I am totally ok with other's not. Oh, and ERF, that's another one that people use against me.
I never even mention my own parenting tactics to my friends unless they ask, and they do. When I answer their questions though, they seem offended like I am attacking their parenting. Like another poster said, as long as you don't abuse or severely neglect your kids, it's none of my business and I won't act like it is.
It just sucks when people ask me about my parenting and why I do certain things and then act hurt or mad because of my answer. It's like they want me to say "what I do is stupid, I should just do what you do because you are right". I just do AP because it's what works for us, if they don't want to do it, cool, why act like because I believe it's right for us that I am some judgemental prick?
by nemillerSeptember 22, 2009 at 1:20 PM
i'm friends with a couple people who's parenting styles differ (from a little to a lot) from mine. it doesn't bother me if someone does things differently, as long as they don't try to preach to me about their beliefs. the only thing that could make me cut off a friendship is if someone did something neglectful or abusive to their children. otherwise i'm "live and let live" about the whole thing.
by jazzieelSeptember 22, 2009 at 1:21 PM
I put yes, in most cases even thou I do not always agree how a friend is raising their child it causes no problems. But a few yrs back a friend of mine started using drugs and was neglecting and abusing her 6 mth old baby and 2 yr old dd. She also was letting her boyfriend do this also by hitting the oldest child. Their home was dirty beyound words. There were roaches crawling on the floors and food laying on the floors every where. Dishes that sat for weeks at a time. I ended the friendship and me along with others turned her and the boyfriend into childrens service. The boyfriend disappeared and the kids were removed from the home. The girl was forced into rehab. But yrs later we did run into each other. She then thanked me for turning her in. She has since got her kids back and has been drug free for 4 almost 5 yrs now. She said thanks for turning her in. She said because of me and the others turning her in, it forced her to take a good look at her life and what she had done to her daughters. She said she knew then she had to clean up. She had to fight to get her girls back and spend her life making it about her children. She is now with a man who has never done drugs and wants nothing to do with them. He has a good job and supports the kids and her well. Yes she got her kids back. Took parenting classes and her life is all about being a good mom. It screwed up our friendship for a few yrs but it was worth it. I would still do it all over again. Even if in the end she never wanted to speak to me again.
by lvnmylifSeptember 22, 2009 at 1:23 PM
I would not be friend with someone who abused or neglected their children or someone who would allow another person to abuse their child. Like a boyfriend/husband/grand mother. Other than that I respect my friends enough to know they are doing what they feel is best for their child. The group of friends I have is a mixture of parenting styles. We discuss in detail what we do as parents but we never tell one another what they "should" be doing. I also don't hang out with people who are that superficially judgemental. More likely than not a person who would judge you on such small parenting choices is probably not a very pleasant person in the first place.
by LiyonessSeptember 22, 2009 at 1:24 PM
My friendships have absolutely suffered from this.
But not simply because of parenting choices, because of the person overall..
However, I do get pretty upset with people who do things I'm against.. And it's not so much that they do what they do- it's that they make excuses for doing it. It's one thing to admit it is what they chose, it's quite another when they claim they "wanted" to do ___, but "had" to do ___.
As far as certain things go- I have to admit I wouldn't trust someone who praises CIO to watch my kids. It tells me exactly what sort of attention they would give my children, and if I wanted my children to cry in a bedroom while I did what I have to do, I could do that myself at home. The point to getting someone else to watch your child while you do a, b, or c is to have them watch and take care of them.
September 22, 2009 at 1:25 PM
the only way that I would not want to be friends with someone who parents differently thn I do would be if they tried to make me feel bad for bad for my choices, or if they were abusing their kids