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Zipcrystal
So he told me he loves me…
March 16 at 1:16 AM

 

So the guy I have been seeing (who is not the baby daddy btw) told me he loved me the other night. It was over text so I am not sure if he was kidding. I just kinda played it off like he was. I am seriously his first gf =/  and the whole love thing is weird for me. Would it hurt your feelings if you meant it when you said it and the other person just acted like it was a joke? He doesn't seem hurt by it. But he has been acting weird. It's just weird for me being pregnant and being with him. I feel like he is getting really involved in the idea of me, him, and the baby even though it isn't his. Should I even be feeling weird bout that? Idk... 

Replies

  • Sarahb21
    March 16 at 1:17 AM

    Well I think you have to figure out how you feel about him. If he's ok with the baby and stepping in, there is nothing wrong with that. There are guys out there that are completely willing to be in that situation. But if you don't feel the same, don't drag him along.

  • Zipcrystal
    March 16 at 1:22 AM

    I really like him and I want him around. But what I don't want is for him to pick me and the baby over his life that he had planned before he met me. He is sapposed to be moving this summer to go off to finish college in a better school. =/ I don't want to be the girl that he throws all that away for

    Quoting Sarahb21:

    Well I think you have to figure out how you feel about him. If he's ok with the baby and stepping in, there is nothing wrong with that. There are guys out there that are completely willing to be in that situation. But if you don't feel the same, don't drag him along.


  • Sarahb21
    March 16 at 1:25 AM

    Then talk to him about that. Tell him that you love that he wants to be there and you would love him to be there, but you worry that he will throw away everything for you. It's ultimately his decision. If this is something he wants, you have to let that guilt go. People do crazy things for love. Maybe in his eyes, he's not throwing away his plans, he's just changing them to accept something he new he found, you know?

    Quoting Zipcrystal:

    I really like him and I want him around. But what I don't want is for him to pick me and the baby over his life that he had planned before he met me. He is sapposed to be moving this summer to go off to finish college in a better school. =/ I don't want to be the girl that he throws all that away for

    Quoting Sarahb21:

    Well I think you have to figure out how you feel about him. If he's ok with the baby and stepping in, there is nothing wrong with that. There are guys out there that are completely willing to be in that situation. But if you don't feel the same, don't drag him along.


  • Zipcrystal
    March 16 at 2:44 AM

    That's true it is his choice and I should be ok with whatever he chooses =/

    Quoting Sarahb21:

    Then talk to him about that. Tell him that you love that he wants to be there and you would love him to be there, but you worry that he will throw away everything for you. It's ultimately his decision. If this is something he wants, you have to let that guilt go. People do crazy things for love. Maybe in his eyes, he's not throwing away his plans, he's just changing them to accept something he new he found, you know?

    Quoting Zipcrystal:

    I really like him and I want him around. But what I don't want is for him to pick me and the baby over his life that he had planned before he met me. He is sapposed to be moving this summer to go off to finish college in a better school. =/ I don't want to be the girl that he throws all that away for

    Quoting Sarahb21:

    Well I think you have to figure out how you feel about him. If he's ok with the baby and stepping in, there is nothing wrong with that. There are guys out there that are completely willing to be in that situation. But if you don't feel the same, don't drag him along.


  • 3xangel
    by 3xangel
    March 16 at 8:38 AM
    What's the backstory? How far along are you? How long have you been with this guy? Do you honestly want to be in a relationship right now?
  • seaturtle1
    March 16 at 12:46 PM

    This is just my opinion and I am not judging you.  But I feel that life right now needs to be about you and your new baby.  If things do not work out with you two.  The baby will get hurt when he leaves.  You are a mom right now enjoy being that.  Work on finding love a little bit later.

  • Kt6713
    by Kt6713
    March 16 at 12:50 PM

    agreed. you cant have been together too long if you are pregnant with some other dudes kid, i would definitely take it slow. let him go off to school, see if the long distance thing works for both of you, because it is not easy, trust me. how old are you guys?

    Quoting seaturtle1:

    This is just my opinion and I am not judging you.  But I feel that life right now needs to be about you and your new baby.  If things do not work out with you two.  The baby will get hurt when he leaves.  You are a mom right now enjoy being that.  Work on finding love a little bit later.


  • Lavie74
    by Lavie74
    March 16 at 1:07 PM

     I think you have the right to feel any way you feel. I think he did men it. I do think you is really getting attached to you and the baby. If I told someone I loved them and they acted like I was joking I would assume that they didn't feel the same way about me. I guess the thing to ask yourself is how you really feel about him before sorting aout how he feels about you.

  • Mommy4-27-08
    March 16 at 1:17 PM
    When me and my df started seeing each other, I was worried about this as well. He had a lot of dreams (i'll admit they were unobtainable dreams, but dreams none the less). He said something when we got together (I already had two kids from a previous relationship) and it has kind of stuck with me through our relationship. He said he didn't give up on his dreams, he traded them for new ones. I think this happens several times in your life and the fact that he acknowledged that made me feel a lot better.

    Now on the flip side, when I was younger (pre-kids) I dated a great guy. We were together for 6 months or so before I broke it off and I did because he was talking about changing his life for me and I didnt want to feel that guilt. He was giving up dreams that were totally his and we just weren't in the same place. I don't regret it and I did love him, but I loved him enough to let him go when I needed to.

    It really comes down to how you would feel about it and whether you could live with it.
  • Zipcrystal
    March 16 at 9:10 PM

    Met him in college, he tutored me in Chemistry. I went on one date with him (didn't have sex) and then a few days later took a test and found out I was pregnant. We have been together about 4 months, but I saw him a lot before we became a thing. I am 29 weeks. I think I do want one, but it's just a weird timing. 

    Quoting 3xangel: What's the backstory? How far along are you? How long have you been with this guy? Do you honestly want to be in a relationship right now?


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