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frustratedstep2
FRUSTRATED
February 16 at 6:24 PM
So frustrated I'm not sure where to begin. My husband and I are newlywed. Only 3 months. He has 2 children from a past marriage. Ages 6 and 9. Lately Ive noticed we fight alot about the children. So much it has me wondering if getting married was a good idea. The children are obveously use to a different type of disapline if any than what I grew up with. It is getting to the point were I dont want to be in my own home on the weekends he has his partial custody!!

Replies

  • indymom72
    February 16 at 6:25 PM

    you didn't discuss any of that before you got married?  How long were you engaged?

  • lucky2Beeme
    February 16 at 6:26 PM

    you and he need to have a serious sit down about the children. When you marry someone with children they become yours.

  • frustratedstep2
    February 16 at 6:32 PM
    We discussed all of this. He wants me to be the disapline. When I do anything to try and help them behave I always look like the bad guy!!
  • hugss
    by hugss
    February 17 at 12:41 AM

    You need to sit down with him & have a heart to heart hon,
    Good luck & hugs to you :)

    Quoting frustratedstep2: So frustrated I'm not sure where to begin. My husband and I are newlywed. Only 3 months. He has 2 children from a past marriage. Ages 6 and 9. Lately Ive noticed we fight alot about the children. So much it has me wondering if getting married was a good idea. The children are obveously use to a different type of disapline if any than what I grew up with. It is getting to the point were I dont want to be in my own home on the weekends he has his partial custody!!


  • DallasCowboys81
    February 17 at 12:48 AM
    From my personal experience if dad dont do the discipline of HIS children they will never ever listen to you. I have 2 step kiddos also .. When i got with dh they were 8 and 12. They are now 16 anf 20. I tried doing it. No way! I finally would just tell dh they did this ot that and left punishment up to him. Its allot of hard work being a step parent but also a major blessing. Some can do it some cant. You and dh need to have a ling siscussiin now that you are married. He needs to be the one to punish. Not you! Or you can do what we did, it worked for ua. Good luck. I have been in your shoes just wanting to run away. Only diff was, they lived with us not mom. So yea totally get it.
  • KendallsMommee
    February 17 at 12:51 AM
    It's his responsibility to discipline, not yours.

    You can help guide them, but not discipline.

    That's a no win situation.
  • MixedCooke
    February 17 at 1:55 AM

    The first 5 years of marriage are the hardest and throwing in stepkids can make it that much more difficult.  Hubby and I have our own discipline styles when it comes to our own kids as well.  You just have to come up with a standard discipline style that you can both come up with and how much involvement he and his baby Mama really want you to have in disciplining their kids.  If your involvement is a sore spot, then let him deal with it and only get involved when it directly involves you.

  • Hottmomma607
    February 17 at 3:45 AM

    You're married,they're in your home as well you should be able to correct them. Did you discuss your place in their lives before marriage?

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