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DallasCowboys81
My 17yr old dd has a ? for u all
February 11 at 6:40 PM
She is having some issues that.goes back to a very long story about her bio dad. She does not want to go into therapy. ( yes I asked her if she.wanted to ) anyways, she has a huge fear that any guy she gets close to is going to leave her because her bio dad comes and goes. She is wondering if any of you ladies have an idea that could help her get over that fear without seeing a therapist. Thanks in advance! :)

Replies

  • Bigmetalchicken
    February 11 at 7:06 PM

    Honestly, that is something that she will have to work out for herself. That is why a therapist can be helpful. The therapist can kind of be a tour guide on how to best navigate these unresolved issues on your own. The therapist does not do the work for you, they just give you the tools to know how to do it on your own. Perhaps talk to her about a group therapy? You get the benefits of the therapist's knowledge, but without the one on one setting, it is much less daunting.

  • mommas.world
    February 11 at 8:00 PM
    Not all men are the same honey:) don't look the other way because u are affraid! You are young and you will learn with time! But its all about trust not only in the man but yourself aswell:) its not your fault that your dad comes and goes I promise u that! I understand that you don't want therapy but maybe try it out and see what you think:)
  • djohn13
    by djohn13
    February 11 at 8:01 PM
    My Dad wasn't consist either. But at 17 u are not dating to get a husband. Have fun be safe do what's fun and safe for you. Know your boundaries and be secure in them. Don't feel bad if a fut breaks up with you its just not your destiny to be with that guy. And when you do come to that age where you are dating to marry take your time. Share your insecurities with him when you are ready about your fear of hes the right one he want even budge or flentch. Love ain't easy and to some extent you have to be just plan nuts to fall in love. Love is durable trust is what's fragile.
  • frndlyfn
    February 11 at 8:01 PM

    Look for a guy who can be your friend first and let that mature. Do not go jumping into any relationships prematurely especially if he says he will leave if you do not "put out" .

  • TiffanyMarie80
    February 11 at 8:06 PM
    I had similar issues with my bio dad. Honestly, therapy was the best thing for me! I know she doesn't want to do it, but it helps to talk things out!! I've been married to a wonderful man for 10 years now :) they aren't all losers, and it's not anything we do that makes them that way.
  • TiffanyMarie80
    February 11 at 8:09 PM
    I should add that I didn't see a traditional therapist- I spent several years meeting for pastoral counseling sessions with the pastor from my church who knew the situation and who I trusted before I started talking :)

    Quoting TiffanyMarie80: I had similar issues with my bio dad. Honestly, therapy was the best thing for me! I know she doesn't want to do it, but it helps to talk things out!! I've been married to a wonderful man for 10 years now :) they aren't all losers, and it's not anything we do that makes them that way.
  • ABCMomma0211
    February 11 at 8:12 PM
    Shes 17, you force her ass to go. End f story.

    But not all men are the same. She needs to fond a man who has had his dad there and taught him how to treat a woman
  • RoseWall
    February 11 at 8:12 PM

    consider group.

    talking to others and with others who have "been there" is so helpful.

    other than that. i really have not advice. i can say im still having this struggle in my older forties. and i do think thats because i avoided therapy.

    possibly self help research could help. maybe get some books or online resources. learn more about relationship dynamics.

    i guess im just a big reader that i think the more information you have the more power to help yourself you have.

    thats just me.

    i am only able to draw on my own experience. and it tells me if i had gotten help when i was a kid maybe i would have done better in my life.

    hugs.im sending positive energy your way.

    im going to PM you if thats okay. a great resource that has been helpful to me that may be of interest.

  • cheermom2girls
    February 11 at 8:15 PM

    Hi honey - not all guys are the same; you have to keep your guard up so that you don't get taken advantage of, but at the same time, don't let the walls that you've built up stop you from getting to know some really great people. One bad experience should not prevent you from having a million great ones. You're never going to know if you never even try. Keep the past in the past, and remember that everyone is different. No two people are the same. There are plenty of amazing guys out there; you just have to find them :) Good luck!

  • DallasCowboys81
    February 11 at 8:16 PM
    Thanks u can pm me :)

    Quoting RoseWall:

    consider group.

    talking to others and with others who have "been there" is so helpful.

    other than that. i really have not advice. i can say im still having this struggle in my older forties. and i do think thats because i avoided therapy.

    possibly self help research could help. maybe get some books or online resources. learn more about relationship dynamics.

    i guess im just a big reader that i think the more information you have the more power to help yourself you have.

    thats just me.

    i am only able to draw on my own experience. and it tells me if i had gotten help when i was a kid maybe i would have done better in my life.

    hugs.im sending positive energy your way.

    im going to PM you if thats okay. a great resource that has been helpful to me that may be of interest.

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