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stephs5isenough
What's Up With My Daughters EX??? (PIOG)
October 29, 2013 at 10:54 AM


My daughter got a great boyfriend at the beginning of this school year.  It seemed to really be going great between them.  Things were very serious and he seemed to totally respect her in every way.

Out of the blue, He broke up with her about a week and a half ago saying he just needed some space for about a month or so but is thinking that he wants to get back together after the month break  (doesn't make sense to me).  Anyway, my daughter was ofcourse very upset for a couple of days but has been working to move on~~~and ofcourse there was a line of boys waiting for her to be available and who are talking to her.  There are a couple who are trying to slowly work in and give her the time she needs but there is one who is pushing more and I can see a lot of sexual undertone in some of what I see from him in his pursuit.  She seems to like the ones who are respecting the time she needs more (which I'm glad of~~~I like those better myself.)

I've gotten off track,  SORRY.  Back to my point.  The ex~boyfriend has not left her alone since he broke up with her.  I've been reading their communications (through messenger.)  The first 2 or 3 days, they were both very sad about the break up and trying to comfort each other through it .  It has They then started arguing for a day.  He was mad about the break up and having a one sided rant about getting back together next month but he just needs some space for a little while.  They 've just talked normal a little bit.  Yesterday, he started messaging her right after lunch giving her permission to date that guy who she was walking towards lunch with.  This is a guy who the ex doesn't like but he knows that the guy likes my daughter.  He told her "just go ahead and date him.  You have my permission.  Then you will see what he is really like."

He has messaged her everyday going through all these different phases of his emotions about the whole break up.  He is the one that broke up with my daughter to begin with.   My daughter is getting on with her life but can't because he keeps messaging her during school about things he has seen at school (mostly involving other guys) and then in the evenings to let his heartache go all over the place in the things he is saying to her. 

What are your thoughts on what is up with him?  He really seemed great until this whole break up.  He is not making any sense now.  Does he want to be with her or not?  Does he not want to be with her but just doesn't want anyone else with her either or what?  Should we be nervous about him now or just dismiss everything?  Our daughter does seem willing to get back together with him if it should come up but is just trying to get along with life now (most of her life now does still include the friends that her and her ex had together).  He seems to feel that they just don't like him much anymore.  She tells him that is because he has changed and just gotten mean all the time~I think she's right.

Anyway, How should we feel about all his actions?  Should we be nervous about him?  Do you think all this is normal?

I would love to hear some insight on him and all this.  THANKS


Replies

  • brandie1470
    October 29, 2013 at 10:58 AM
    This just sounds like highschool. I assume your dd is in hs.
  • .sugar.kisses.
    October 29, 2013 at 11:01 AM
    How about your dd and YOU focus on her studies rather than boys!
  • stephs5isenough
    October 29, 2013 at 11:01 AM

    She is in hight school.

    I just can't figure out why he keeps bothering her the way he is.  He broke up with her.  Shouldn't he just be done with it. Why is he trying to keep her on the hook?  And why is he trying to keep tabs on her the way he is?

    Quoting brandie1470:

    This just sounds like highschool. I assume your dd is in hs.


  • stephs5isenough
    October 29, 2013 at 11:03 AM

    We are both very focused on her studies and on her sports.

    The problems I am asking about involve the way he won't leave her alone and just allow her to move on in peace.

    Quoting .sugar.kisses.:

    How about your dd and YOU focus on her studies rather than boys!


  • CarlyEliz
    October 29, 2013 at 11:04 AM
    Kids in school... Even in Highschool are not mature enough to date!
  • M_Cox
    by M_Cox
    October 29, 2013 at 11:05 AM
    Stop being her friend and start being her mother.
  • DallasCowboys81
    October 29, 2013 at 11:06 AM
    Sounds like to me personally he got scared. He's prob never had feelings for anyone so when he got them he ran. Maybe he wants time to make sure his feelings are.real before moving on?
  • .sugar.kisses.
    October 29, 2013 at 11:06 AM
    No... Your focuse on BOYS BOYS BOYS.

    You said it yourself.

    She doesn't need to be talking to more boys.. Good or bad. Geez Louise

    If you're that worried about him, get her number changed.

    Keep track of everything, and keep her away from boys, period!


    Quoting stephs5isenough:

    We are both very focused on her studies and on her sports.

    The problems I am asking about involve the way he won't leave her alone and just allow her to move on in peace.

    Quoting .sugar.kisses.:

    How about your dd and YOU focus on her studies rather than boys!



  • daydreamer3
    October 29, 2013 at 11:07 AM

    Maybe he wants to be with someone else and not cheat on her? 

    I would have her block him if he's not leaving her alone. 

    I don't understand why he'd break up with her for a month because he needs space and then bother her through messages? 

  • stephs5isenough
    October 29, 2013 at 11:09 AM

    I am being her mother.

    Does anyone here not understand my concerns about this guy.  I'm jsut wondering how concerned I need to be or if all of the way this boy is acting is totally normal and no one sees any concerns here.

    I don't want him to go crazy on her or anything.  I see the news.

    My thinking is that he shouldn't care what she is doing.

    Quoting M_Cox:

    Stop being her friend and start being her mother.


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