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NDADanceMom
The R word. Do you use it?
October 17, 2013 at 5:11 PM

A mom in a post today said she felt retarded for not knowing something.  I posted a video from a stop the R word campaign to let her know how it makes people feel.  Some people have heard the word so many times that they just dont realize how hateful the word is.  Sometimes a gentle nudge is enough for people to realize that its no different than any other slur word.  I wasnt judging her.  Its really no different than my great grandpa calling people of color the N word.  He always heard it being used and never really thought about it being hateful.  It was just a word to him.  

She pmd me and said she really didnt care.  its just a word and she and her kids will always use it.  No big deal.  Sad.  What do you think?

Replies

  • HelloSweetie
    October 17, 2013 at 5:12 PM

    no, I don't

  • frndlyfn
    October 17, 2013 at 5:14 PM

    I do not use it .   I do not mind if people use it correctly and not as a slur.  When you are using it to call a person a name is when you cross the line.

  • NDADanceMom
    October 17, 2013 at 5:17 PM


    Quoting frndlyfn:

    I do not use it .   I do not mind if people use it correctly and not as a slur.  When you are using it to call a person a name is when you cross the line.

    I understand that some people use it thinking its sometimes the proper word.  In music it can be, but to describe a person it really isnt.  Developmentally delayed, cognitive delays, or even just stating the disorder such as "child with downs syndrome" are much more respectful. 

  • RADmomma
    October 17, 2013 at 5:19 PM
    We don't.
  • frndlyfn
    October 17, 2013 at 5:21 PM


    Quoting NDADanceMom:


    Quoting frndlyfn:

    I do not use it .   I do not mind if people use it correctly and not as a slur.  When you are using it to call a person a name is when you cross the line.

    I understand that some people use it thinking its sometimes the proper word.  In music it can be, but to describe a person it really isnt.  Developmentally delayed, cognitive delays, or even just stating the disorder such as "child with downs syndrome" are much more respectful. 

    Yeah  It is a tricky word for sure.  When i hear it being used towards a person I think of someone who can not function on their own without help like a very low IQ type of thing.   Delays is better used to describe or as you said their specific diagnosis.

     I have worked with adults whom had autism that were thought to be "retarded" given they were diagnosed 50-60 years ago but in the last decade they got the correct diagnosis of autism and found out their intelligence was pretty "average' or above average.

  • BluePandaDreams
    October 17, 2013 at 5:27 PM
    To me "retard" is a word and nothing more. However, I don't use the word in the context of common slang, and have used the word in the manner it has been defined when appropriate. I do work around people who use the word as slang, but oh well. It doesn't bother me. My own child has been known to use the word, and I have told her that her use of the word as slang may offend someone and to choose a different word when she is around people she doesn't know.
  • NDADanceMom
    October 17, 2013 at 6:00 PM
    Can i ask how you would react if someone used the same explaination to defend why they called a black child the n word?
    If they genuinely said it was just a word, they did not mean offense. Does that make it ok?


    Quoting BluePandaDreams:

    To me "retard" is a word and nothing more. However, I don't use the word in the context of common slang, and have used the word in the manner it has been defined when appropriate. I do work around people who use the word as slang, but oh well. It doesn't bother me. My own child has been known to use the word, and I have told her that her use of the word as slang may offend someone and to choose a different word when she is around people she doesn't know.
  • tiarra7022
    October 17, 2013 at 6:09 PM

    I try not to use it but it does happen. I never say it in a mean way or to hurt someone. I also never try to say the N word but sometimes it slips. I think that by making a work bad and not something you should say only gives it power.

  • lady-J-Rock
    October 17, 2013 at 6:09 PM
    My son saw a pediatric development Doctor. The team did some tests to figure out his IQ. He scored a 67. I asked what that meant. She replied score 50 and lower is mentally retarded. They'll redo the testing in six months to determine if the score is accurate. He's classified as having Autism and a global delay. Development delay and MR are not the same.


    Quoting frndlyfn:


    Quoting NDADanceMom:


    Quoting frndlyfn:

    I do not use it .   I do not mind if people use it correctly and not as a slur.  When you are using it to call a person a name is when you cross the line.

    I understand that some people use it thinking its sometimes the proper word.  In music it can be, but to describe a person it really isnt.  Developmentally delayed, cognitive delays, or even just stating the disorder such as "child with downs syndrome" are much more respectful. 

    Yeah  It is a tricky word for sure.  When i hear it being used towards a person I think of someone who can not function on their own without help like a very low IQ type of thing.   Delays is better used to describe or as you said their specific diagnosis.

     I have worked with adults whom had autism that were thought to be "retarded" given they were diagnosed 50-60 years ago but in the last decade they got the correct diagnosis of autism and found out their intelligence was pretty "average' or above average.


  • lady-J-Rock
    October 17, 2013 at 6:11 PM
    And no I don't use the word retard casually.

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