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xena7620
overwhelmed and need help
October 16, 2013 at 9:40 AM

i have a 4 year old son and i am having some problems that i don't know how to deal with.  Where to start... First off one of my big issues is that he has this obsession with pulling my hair. It's not a confort thing anymore like I thought it was when he was a baby. Now it's all day everyday and that is how he wakes me up in the morning by grabbing a handful of my hair. It's not mommy get up, he just yanks my hair. I have been told that i could be an attention thing but i don't believe that it is because he still does it even when i am giving him attention.

The second big thing is the pushing, shoving and hitting. I have made calls ot his doctor but i am getting no response. It goes on all day every day. Anytime i try to sit down to take a minute to myself just to sit down or to calm myself when he is aggrivating me with the hair pulling or hitting, he either comes over and yanks my hair or he climbs on the chair behind me and either kicks me in the side or back or he jumps on my back. I only weigh 117 lbs. my son wieghs 37 he is a third of my body wieght. Having hium jumo on me like that really hurts or he grabs onto my shoulders and tries to shake me. He is a very strong kid i can't always ovrepower him to stop right away. I feel like i am yelling and screaming at him allday because i can't get him to stop unless i raise my voice, but that doesn't always work. We have tried time-out, corner time, and i am starting to take thinks away but i am getting very frustrated. I'm tired of my son using me as a punching bag. There is a differance between rough housing and just being mean .. and he is just being mean.

Any help would be appreciated!! We are having trouble getting him potty trained too he is just not showing any interest, should i force him.

 

Replies

  • MixedCooke
    October 16, 2013 at 9:44 AM

    BUMP!

  • MixedCooke
    October 16, 2013 at 9:45 AM

    Ever get him tested by a behavior/development specialist? He is still young and they should be able to give you some answers.

  • Itzy0ll0tl
    October 16, 2013 at 9:47 AM
    Have you tried therapy?
  • LnAsMommy
    October 16, 2013 at 9:48 AM
    How ling has this been going on?
    Do he get in trouble for this behavior? Time out, take things away.... stuff like that...he is old enough to know better. My 4 year old does. And he knows if he acts that way he will get in trouble... as for potty training, it is time! How is he going to go to kindergarten in diapers?
  • goddiddlyumshis
    October 16, 2013 at 9:50 AM
    Try having him seen by a child evaluator or developmental pedi.
    My son has done all of those thing, and his autistic and has impulse control disorder.
  • xena7620
    October 16, 2013 at 1:28 PM

    thank you all i am trying to get him back in with behavioral pediatrics it is just a matter of getting the referal from his doctor. Actually on the potty training aspect i took his diaper off this morning and  he was wiggling around so much i just left it off while i threw the other one away and he got up and went and sat on his potty all by himself. We are doing time out and taking things away when he acts up but sometimes i get so worked up i want top scream!

     

  • Nellie71
    October 16, 2013 at 1:39 PM

    My niece went through that with her son. Doc said he was slightly autistic..I don't know about that, but having a medical/psych opinion  would be helpful and perhaps a 2nd opinion to help make sense of things. Being a parent can be challenging I know, I have 3, one of which has adhd, and 2 teens need I say more lol  Hang in there, will pray for you and your little one that you get relief. God Bless and have a good day.

  • NDADanceMom
    October 16, 2013 at 1:43 PM

    I would think there is a sensory issue at play here.  give him alternatives of non physical cues and ignore the hair pulling.  (by ignore I mean dont get up and do what he wants.  I dont mean lay there and let him hurt you.  Stop him and keep his hands off you.  point to a bell or music box (or whatever) that he needs to use in order for you to get up.  Never get up from hair pulling.  

    Google therapy fidgets.  they are things that we use in the schools for kids that cant keep their hands to themselves because of sensory processing disorders.  they just need an outlet that is physical and when there is nothing they rely on hitting and touching. 

  • xena7620
    October 16, 2013 at 1:45 PM

    thank you! it tiik me forever to actually find a heplful support group there are too many on the internet.

  • waytomanykids10
    October 16, 2013 at 1:53 PM

    You need to find a new DR. I do not tolerate not being called back when I have a concern when it comes to my kids.

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