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Dad Forces Son to Hold 'I'm a Bully' Sign in Public -- Anyone Seeing the Irony?
October 13, 2013 at 10:04 AM

 Dad Forces Son to Hold 'I'm a Bully' Sign in Public -- Anyone Seeing the Irony?

by Kiri Blakeley Monday at 10:42 AM

 

Publicly punishing your kid by making him or her hold a sign seems to be all the rage now. Like the teen who had to hold a sign saying "I'm a self-entitled teenager" and the parents who made their kid hold a sign saying he stole headphones. In fact, so many parents do it that there are lists dedicated to it.

I'm always on the fence about these things. On the one hand, yeah, parents should discipline and punish when needed. On the other, do kids really need public humiliation piled on top of private punishment? (Especially when everything goes viral nowadays!!) Now comes this sign that a dad in Texas made his fourth grader hold at a busy intersection that read, "I'm a bully. Honk if you hate bullies."

The dad, Jose Lagares, says that his son had been in trouble numerous times in school for bullying behavior. In the past, this type of thing was ignored, and it's great that bullying is finally getting the attention it deserves as something that needs to be eradicated from schools. Children who are bullied can suffer lifelong issues -- not to mention even end up committing suicide.

So, it's good that this father is taking his son's bullying seriously. He's not shrugging it off -- and he's not encouraging it. He told KCEN:

Bullying is also a form of public humiliation. Maybe he understands that when he humiliates someone publicly that doesn't feel good. Hopefully he'll take that with him so the next time he tries to bully someone he'll think about it twice.

But isn't making a kid hold a sign like this a form of bullying too?

I think back to my own mistakes as a kid -- like the time I stole a cassette tape from a store -- and the absolute humiliation of the cops calling my grandmother (whom I lived with) and my grandmother's copious tears of embarrassment and how, frankly, the LAST thing I needed was more humiliation!

I think if I was made to hold a sign that day and stand in front of my town, my friends, the parents of my friends, for something I did in a moment of pre-teen idiocy (hey, your brain is NOT fully formed yet), I would, even today, be angry about my treatment -- rather than embarrassed at what I did. In fact, the disappointment my grandmother had in me was more than enough to make me never steal anything again.

But Lagares, who got a lot of criticism for his actions, says he had tried every form of punishment he could think of, including grounding, and the problem wasn't stopping.

However, it makes you wonder if this kid is a bully because dad is? I don't want to play blame the parent, but if this is dad's first reaction to disciplining his son -- to publicly humiliate him -- then you start to get a sense of where he may have learned this type of behavior. The fact that this kid will have this video online forever is really unfair too.

Lagares, however, says that the over-the-top punishment "seems to have worked."

Do you think this was right?

Replies

  • notjstasocermom
    October 13, 2013 at 10:17 AM

    I think it was fine parents today are way too soft.

  • outtamymynd
    October 13, 2013 at 10:20 AM
    I don't see anything wrong. Dad is definitely not a bully. Maybe it will make the kid think twice before being a little jerk.
  • Kathy489
    October 13, 2013 at 10:34 AM

    I agree with the dad. All kids are different, and maybe this is what this kid needs. Depending on the "crime," maybe it would be over the top for some. It's the parents' call.

  • Tatum2U
    by Tatum2U
    October 13, 2013 at 10:37 AM

    I am not a fan of humilation as a punishment. 

  • TheSilence
    October 13, 2013 at 10:39 AM
    Again, he isn't beating the child with a belt. Until he is you don't get a say in his punishing his child.
    This kid will either learn from this or he won't. Obviously the father is at his wits end.
  • LoriLou75
    October 13, 2013 at 10:41 AM
    Humiliation is not a way to discipline.
  • LoriLou75
    October 13, 2013 at 10:43 AM
    I'm not saying parents shouldn't be "allowed" to discipline this way. I'm just saying I don't agree with it, at all. I think it is a horrible way to parent. I'm entitled to my opinion.

    Quoting TheSilence:

    Again, he isn't beating the child with a belt. Until he is you don't get a say in his punishing his child.

    This kid will either learn from this or he won't. Obviously the father is at his wits end.
  • TheSilence
    October 13, 2013 at 10:48 AM
    Lmao a horrible way to parent? You can choose not to discipline that way but you can't say it is a horrible way to parent. It is a different way to parent.
    Just because someone does something different than you doesn't mean it is horrible.


    Quoting LoriLou75:

    I'm not saying parents shouldn't be "allowed" to discipline this way. I'm just saying I don't agree with it, at all. I think it is a horrible way to parent. I'm entitled to my opinion.



    Quoting TheSilence:

    Again, he isn't beating the child with a belt. Until he is you don't get a say in his punishing his child.


    This kid will either learn from this or he won't. Obviously the father is at his wits end.

  • MamaRae85
    October 13, 2013 at 10:49 AM



    But isn't making a kid hold a sign like this a form of bullying too?
    No. No it is not.
  • kzuehlk
    by kzuehlk
    October 13, 2013 at 10:52 AM
    This wasn't his first reaction to his son's behavior. He tried other ways and the kid didn't stop. Maybe the kid will think twice now