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goodnightmama
How do you guys do it
October 1, 2013 at 9:03 PM
I have been a housewife for seven years, I just started working again about a month ago while the kids are in school. On my dh days off I can do full shifts and on the weekends my brother can watch them so I have been avareging 33-40 hours a week. When I was a housewife my house was awesome (not perfect) and dinner was on time most nights. Now that I am working I am finding it hard to balance housework, home work, and work . My house isn't a full on call cps disaster (although sometimes I feel that way) its messy, I have fallen behind on laundry a few times and my living room has toys all over it. By the time I am done helping three kids with homework and dinner even started its 630/7pm haven't had a chance to unwind, really clean anything, and bed times suppose to be at 8pm. It's just been all so overwhelming that I have been feeling like a horrible mother and wife because I haven't been able to pull all this together by now. I don't get it, how do you guys do it. I am sitting here about ready to cry because I feel like such a failure.

Replies

  • caligirl7613
    October 1, 2013 at 9:08 PM
    your not a failure. you were a sahm for a long time. it takes some adjustment. try and develop a routine. even create lists if need be. sounds as if your kids are old enough for some level of chores and that will help you as well. breathe. it takes time
  • evaleesmom
    October 1, 2013 at 9:09 PM
    Ido all my laundry on the weekend and iron everything so thats one less thing to worry about during the week.. kids have to help clean up the living room ....thier room is usually somewhat of a mess but they have to clean and orginize fridays. Dishes are where i get backed up :\ my least favorite chore. Dinner i usually cook while helping with homework or on good days i make crock pot meals. Bed time is 830 so thats when i get to unwind.
  • calsmom62
    October 1, 2013 at 9:28 PM
    you arent a failure. . you need to delegate. kids can vacuum straighten up. do dishes etc. and toys should be played with in their bedrooms or the pllayroom especially if the toys are being left around
  • sunpeaches1
    October 1, 2013 at 9:37 PM
    You cannot be the june cleaver housewife & the modern go-getting career woman. Somethings gotta give...if only to let go of the expectations of yourself. My sis tried to do it all & wound up in the er w panic attacks so severe even the docs thought she was having a heart attack. Dont worry about the few things left out of the load of laundry that didn't get put away...its not going anywhere. Also, it'd probably time to start enlisting the kiddos in little chores... my boys will do ANYTHING for a quarter ;)
  • happymommy1105
    October 1, 2013 at 9:39 PM

    it's called making them help

    kids pick up after themselves.

    dh picks up after himself. 

    it's a team effort. 

    it doesn't all get done by 1 person. 

    in our house- i stay at home and i still don't do it all alone- I am 1 person, I am NOT about to clean up behind 4 other people who are perfectly capable!

  • goodnightmama
    October 1, 2013 at 9:47 PM
    Lol when I was home I did do it all for a family of five, albeit not perfectly lol but better then this. Dh does do some things on his days off but when he is working his shifts are almost 13 hours long. I think I will start the kids with chores, should make it easier on me

    Eta Mt kids did clean their own room, make their beds and put their own clothes away so I didn't do absolutely everything lmao ;-)


    Quoting happymommy1105:

    it's called making them help

    kids pick up after themselves.

    dh picks up after himself. 

    it's a team effort. 

    it doesn't all get done by 1 person. 

    in our house- i stay at home and i still don't do it all alone- I am 1 person, I am NOT about to clean up behind 4 other people who are perfectly capable!

  • SylviaNCali
    October 1, 2013 at 9:59 PM

    You should get your kids to help you out as well as you husband. The kids should have to clean up the toys each night. Maybe give them bins to put them in. And everyone should load up their own dishes and kids can help unload dishes and sort laundry. If everyone helps, it will not be as hectic. Remember, you shouldn't have to do it all since you're not the only one making the mess.

  • happymommy1105
    October 1, 2013 at 10:03 PM

    If that's how you ran things when you stayed home- that's fine. 

    Not how I run things.  I don't care that you went to work all day.  I put up with screaming baby, homeschooled a kid, dealt with all the doctors and such, dealt with the pets and ran all the errands plus I did it all while in constant pain.  

    I used to work 16-18 hour days and came home and cooked and cleaned, etc when I was a single mom.  I have zero sympathy for the fact that he goes to work all day.  

    I'm kinda a bitch like that though.  

    Quoting goodnightmama:

    Lol when I was home I did do it all for a family of five, albeit not perfectly lol but better then this. Dh does do some things on his days off but when he is working his shifts are almost 13 hours long. I think I will start the kids with chores, should make it easier on me

    Eta Mt kids did clean their own room, make their beds and put their own clothes away so I didn't do absolutely everything lmao ;-)


    Quoting happymommy1105:

    it's called making them help

    kids pick up after themselves.

    dh picks up after himself. 

    it's a team effort. 

    it doesn't all get done by 1 person. 

    in our house- i stay at home and i still don't do it all alone- I am 1 person, I am NOT about to clean up behind 4 other people who are perfectly capable!


  • nickname-mommy
    October 1, 2013 at 10:32 PM

    your not a failure at all. in addition to getting your family to help out like the other moms said throw a meal in the crock pot. it will save on prep and cook time and dishes. 

  • _MissMissfit_
    October 1, 2013 at 10:33 PM
    Find a routine and stick to it. I generally only clean on weekends. I do laundry on Sunday's and Wednesday's. I get home early enough now that dinner is easy, but when I use to work later, crock pot was awesome, as was marinating from the morning on, then cooking on the grill. Way faster than the oven.

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