I am not a stepmom but I would say yes. If you are not involved then, yes it is okay to feel left out. It is your stepchild after all.
Tell your husband how you feel and that you want to help.
How old is the daughter? How long have you been married? Did he and she go do something alone together, or with others?
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Quoting NDADanceMom:Depends on the relationship and the desire of the child. If you are new to the family and the kids are older they may want a day with dad without you.
The kids may not be comfortable, thats the reason why your husband did not include you.
Quoting Favourofgod:Is it ok to feel left out when as a stepmom you are not involved by your
husband when his daughters BDay come around?
You wouldnt tolerate it huh?
Even if its what the child wanted?
I guess their birthdays are all about you.
Quoting Nickie76:I wouldn't tolerate it, and my husband would not go to anything I'm excluded from. We do our own things for my step kids birthdays.
I know I felt a little left out when my SS turned one. But we have had several birthdays since then. We have a family gathering for the kids' birthdays.