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Mamajuice1111
My husband just doesn't understand my teen daughter!
September 13, 2013 at 3:38 PM

Hello Ladies!

I have been struggling with my husband for our entire marriage with how he treats my teen daughter.  Both my daughter and I feel he is unfair and hurtful.  I have tried just about every angle with expressing my concerns, but he simply doesn't see it. My daughter is a GREAT teen and most everyone sees this and compliments me on what a wonderful job I've done in raising her- except my husband who tends to nag about every tiny thing she does wrong and is insensitive most always.  I realize men tend to be more harsh, but I am afraid his ways could damage her self-esteem and self-worth which I have worked so hard her entire life to instill.  I am hoping for some guidance, advice, and support from all of you.

Thank you!

Replies

  • TippySpring
    September 13, 2013 at 3:56 PM

    You do not mention him being a step dad but I am going to assume he is. In my opinion, your hubby is an ass. Sorry but that is your child. You as a mother need to do what needs to be done to protect her from people like that...

  • avonleafan
    September 13, 2013 at 4:10 PM
    How long have you guys been married? Could it be that he just simply doesn't understand her and is trying to relate but can't? My dad could be insensitive, but it wasn't that he was deliberately hurtful. He just didn't know how to talk to me and came across as overbearing/overbearing.
  • LuLuRex
    by LuLuRex
    September 13, 2013 at 4:51 PM

    I can understand why you are upset, I would be too. Girls can get down on themselves so easily and it doesn't help if an important male figure in their life is acting that way. 

    Is there someone else that may be able to get through to him? His mother? A friend? Maybe hearing it from someone else will resonant more. 

  • frndlyfn
    September 13, 2013 at 5:23 PM

    What types of things is he nagging about? I need more specific examples of what he is saying.  I am also presuming that he is a step father and i have experience being treated badly by my moms husband.

  • lenashark
    September 13, 2013 at 5:25 PM

    Could you be more specific? What exactly is he saying?

  • susannah2000
    September 13, 2013 at 7:39 PM

    Why did you marry someone like that? If he is not the child's bio father, why would you marry someone who treated your child like that? Why have you stayed with someone who emotionally abuses your daughter, and has for her whole life? YOU are her mother, and it is YOUR job to protect her,. You haven't done that. When she remembers his abuse, she will also remember that you did nothing to protect her.

  • DallasCowboys81
    September 13, 2013 at 8:07 PM
    Sounds exactly like my daughter n hubby. He is constamtly on her. We came to the conclusion he is jealous of her. His own daughter dont give him the time of day and he takes it out on my dd. But since we have figured this out, things have been so mucj better. Hopefully thungs will look up for ypu. Letting you know, there ia a light just need to find it and go to it. Good luck.
  • DallasCowboys81
    September 13, 2013 at 8:07 PM
    Sounds exactly like my daughter n hubby. He is constamtly on her. We came to the conclusion he is jealous of her. His own daughter dont give him the time of day and he takes it out on my dd. But since we have figured this out, things have been so mucj better. Hopefully thungs will look up for ypu. Letting you know, there ia a light just need to find it and go to it. Good luck.
  • DallasCowboys81
    September 13, 2013 at 8:08 PM
    Sorry for typos and apparently posting it twice :/
  • trainlady
    September 14, 2013 at 12:50 PM

    This is a little off beat because usually the daughter is daddy's little doll and can get away with anything. You didn't state if this was your daughter alone or both of yours. You need to talk to your daughter and help her to understand that daddy apparently has issues and not to take any of his hurtful remarks seriously. Its too bad she has to tip toe around him but its only going to be a little while and she will grow out of the teen stage and leave home. In the meantime perhaps you could find a father from another family that could talk to your husband and tell him to lighten up. My father was wonderful and saved me from my mother's wrath many times in my teen years. He protected me in all ways and supported and backed me up in anything I tried. These are the memories that your daughter should have and you need to tell your husband that. He needs to think how she looks at him and what she feels about his not understanding.

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