LDavis33
Is this rude, or is it just me? EDITED TO ADD #3
July 5, 2013 at 10:39 AM

I stopped at the grocery store this morning with my 9 month old daughter to pick up a loaf of bread.  I got in the check out line behind two people.  The lady right in front of me had a cart load of groceries.  So I stood there in line, holding my daughter and a loaf of bread waiting for my turn.

I thought it was inconsiderate to not offer to let me ahead of her.  If I find myself in a similar situation I always offer, even if I have my kids and the person behind me is alone.  To me, it's just common courtesy.

FYI. There was only 1 line open, no express line.  She absolutely knew I was there because she had to go around me to grab a magazine from the rack behind me.

ETA.  Wow.  I really didn't expect that I would be in the minority on this one.  I thought that letting someone ahead of you in line was just common courtesy, like holding the door for the person behind you.  

I'm really surprised that some of you think I was rude by expecting to be allowed to go ahead.  First of all, I didn't actually "expect" it (I've learned a long time ago that expecting people to be considerate and polite is a waste of time), I just thought it was inconsiderate. Secondly, even if I did expect it, I don't see how that would be rude.  I mean, expecting people to be kind and considerate of others is rude?  Hmmmm.  Perhaps if I had said something to her, that would have been rude, but I simply waited patiently in line with my daughter.

I do get that her time is just as important as mine, but honestly what is 30 seconds to anyone?

And, for further clarification I am not a spoiled, entitled brat.  I'm just someone who was raised to go out of my way to help others and am sometimes surprised that not everyone was taught common courtesy.

ETA #2.

Well apparently I am in the minority on this one.  I honestly thought this was a common act of courtesy.  I do it all of the time and others have done it for me. 

You can continue to believe that I am a spoiled, entitled brat.  But just remember, the next time you are stuck in traffic, trying to merge and someone lets you in it might be me.  Or if you are running through a downpour towards the bank, and someone waits an extra 5 seconds to hold the door for you, it might be me.

ETA #3.

Well, I'm glad to see I have a couple of supporters out there.  I guess we just look at the world a little differently that the majority of people.  

To those who resorted to name calling (you know who you are), all I have to say is "how rude!"




Replies

  • kidlover2
    July 20, 2013 at 8:43 AM
    This

    Quoting MamaJess9:

    It would have been a nice thing to do. But it's not something to be expected, or feel you are entitled to.  She was in line first, she has the right to stay there.  How many items you have has no bearing on what she should do.

    It is most definitely NOT "common courtesy".  It's a EXTRA, going out of your way thing.  A favor.

    ETA: For the record, I would have let you go ahead of me.  I just don't think it's something people should feel should be automatic.  It's not like she broke some etiquette rule or anything. I don't like that you used the word rude.

  • darcibeisheim
    July 21, 2013 at 10:08 AM

    Yes it's a nice gesture but at the same time it's not rude to not offer. If you let everyone behind you in line go first, you will be there all day. 

  • aimlee
    by aimlee
    July 21, 2013 at 10:15 AM

    honestly Ive had that happen and Im that other lady. what you (the person behind me with 1 item) doesnt realize is there was a line before I got up so I have been patiently waiting for my turn for about 5 mins already. Sorry if that is rude, but I feel I have waited my time. If we get to the line at the same time, of course I always let the person with less items go ahead of me (even when I am the one with 2 kids)

  • MamaRae85
    July 21, 2013 at 10:18 AM

    I agree with this 100%. I think people mistake going out of your way as "common courtesy". It would have been a nice thing of her to do, but in my opinion, common courtesy SHOULD be expected.

    For instance, when you go to a movie theater:

    Common courtesy = turning your phone on vibrate or low, and leaving if you have a call (some people are on call 24/7).

    Above and beyond, but still a simple thing for most people to do = turning your phone OFF, and not checking it while you're watching the film.

    Someone not letting you ahead of them in line is most definitely not "rude", though.

    Also, I think the "entitled" comments are mostly coming because generally, people think less of someone when they're being rude. The logical conclusion is that you thought less of the woman because she didn't let you ahead of her in line. Thinking less of someone because they didn't give you something that is theirs (her spot in line) IS kind of entitled, IMO.

    Quoting MamaJess9:

    It would have been a nice thing to do. But it's not something to be expected, or feel you are entitled to.  She was in line first, she has the right to stay there.  How many items you have has no bearing on what she should do.

    It is most definitely NOT "common courtesy".  It's a EXTRA, going out of your way thing.  A favor.

    ETA: For the record, I would have let you go ahead of me.  I just don't think it's something people should feel should be automatic.  It's not like she broke some etiquette rule or anything. I don't like that you used the word rude.


  • calsmom62
    July 21, 2013 at 10:19 AM
    very true


    Quoting jessi2girls:

    While it is common curtesy to let someone ahead of you in line when they have only a few items and you have a lot, or if they have something heavy and you don't.. it's not curtesy to assume you are entitled a line jump just because you have fewer items.. 

    See, the thing about being nice is not expecting it to be returned to you! Be grateful when it is, but expecing it does come off as being entitled.. and it's no longer then about being polite or nice.. it's about a favor with strings attached..



  • my4kids274
    July 21, 2013 at 10:24 AM
    I do not think it was rude of the woman.
  • wildlilacs
    July 21, 2013 at 10:29 AM
    Yes, this is me. It depends on the wait time and how many others were allowed to go ahead.
    It also Depends on how time crunched I am. Sure, I let ppl go ahead with a couple items, only to stand longer due to price check or cashier has to hunt down cigs or superviser or some other reason.


    Quoting aimlee:

    honestly Ive had that happen and Im that other lady. what you (the person behind me with 1 item) doesnt realize is there was a line before I got up so I have been patiently waiting for my turn for about 5 mins already. Sorry if that is rude, but I feel I have waited my time. If we get to the line at the same time, of course I always let the person with less items go ahead of me (even when I am the one with 2 kids)


  • was2now3
    July 21, 2013 at 11:16 AM
    I agree with you.