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LDavis33
Is this rude, or is it just me? EDITED TO ADD #3
July 5, 2013 at 10:39 AM

I stopped at the grocery store this morning with my 9 month old daughter to pick up a loaf of bread.  I got in the check out line behind two people.  The lady right in front of me had a cart load of groceries.  So I stood there in line, holding my daughter and a loaf of bread waiting for my turn.

I thought it was inconsiderate to not offer to let me ahead of her.  If I find myself in a similar situation I always offer, even if I have my kids and the person behind me is alone.  To me, it's just common courtesy.

FYI. There was only 1 line open, no express line.  She absolutely knew I was there because she had to go around me to grab a magazine from the rack behind me.

ETA.  Wow.  I really didn't expect that I would be in the minority on this one.  I thought that letting someone ahead of you in line was just common courtesy, like holding the door for the person behind you.  

I'm really surprised that some of you think I was rude by expecting to be allowed to go ahead.  First of all, I didn't actually "expect" it (I've learned a long time ago that expecting people to be considerate and polite is a waste of time), I just thought it was inconsiderate. Secondly, even if I did expect it, I don't see how that would be rude.  I mean, expecting people to be kind and considerate of others is rude?  Hmmmm.  Perhaps if I had said something to her, that would have been rude, but I simply waited patiently in line with my daughter.

I do get that her time is just as important as mine, but honestly what is 30 seconds to anyone?

And, for further clarification I am not a spoiled, entitled brat.  I'm just someone who was raised to go out of my way to help others and am sometimes surprised that not everyone was taught common courtesy.

ETA #2.

Well apparently I am in the minority on this one.  I honestly thought this was a common act of courtesy.  I do it all of the time and others have done it for me. 

You can continue to believe that I am a spoiled, entitled brat.  But just remember, the next time you are stuck in traffic, trying to merge and someone lets you in it might be me.  Or if you are running through a downpour towards the bank, and someone waits an extra 5 seconds to hold the door for you, it might be me.

ETA #3.

Well, I'm glad to see I have a couple of supporters out there.  I guess we just look at the world a little differently that the majority of people.  

To those who resorted to name calling (you know who you are), all I have to say is "how rude!"




Replies

  • Jessicamarquez
    July 5, 2013 at 11:38 AM
    People always let me in front (: I return the good karma so I wouldn't know about someone not doing it. I even had someone suggest me to go to the jewelry counter to pay for my stuff in sams club since the line was 20 people long. I asked if she thought they really would she told me yes you have a baby and a life to get back to (: so it was nice of her to help me. But I don't expect it at all I just find it pleasant. I wouldn't call it rude when people aren't helpful but I do let people in front when I have a lot child or not. Its a bit obnoxious lol.
  • Rachael-Dawn
    July 5, 2013 at 11:40 AM
    Why would that be rude? It is not her priority to think about everyone around her. Maybe she had an busy schedule or a chaotic day and her mind wasn't registering that it would be nice if she put a random person in line behind her at the grocery store go ahead of her.

    Was raised with manners and with courtesy. I watched my mom (amidst our household nightmare) put everyone outside of our home ahead of herself. ALWAYS. It wasn't even a question in her mind. More like a reflex. Not everyone was raised that way. The majority of the planet was not I could guess.

    That still does not mean that she was being rude.
  • jtsmommie0104
    July 5, 2013 at 11:40 AM
    I guess walk a little faster to line next time. Not her responsibility to let you go ahead
  • L202M
    by L202M
    July 5, 2013 at 11:42 AM

    I understand what you are saying, but maybe you used the wrong word when you said that it was rude.  Was it inconsiderate?...yes, but not rude.   I think people are just responding to the word you used.  It would have been nice if she let you in, but no big deal if she didn't.  The fact that it bothered you this much is, I think, why people are thinking that you feel entitled.


  • LDavis33
    July 5, 2013 at 11:44 AM

    Yeah, perhaps I did choose the wrong word... inconsiderate might have been a better choice.  It didn't bother me a whole lot, it was just a random thing that happened to me that I thought might start a discussion about manners.  

    Quoting L202M:

    I understand what you are saying, but maybe you used the wrong word when you said that it was rude.  Was it inconsiderate?...yes, but not rude.   I think people are just responding to the word you used.  It would have been nice if she let you in, but no big deal if she didn't.  The fact that it bothered you this much is, I think, why people are thinking that you feel entitled.



  • Indiemom880
    July 5, 2013 at 11:48 AM

    No. She was not being inconsiderate. Maybe she has a bad back and can't wait?

  • lalalamama
    July 5, 2013 at 11:49 AM

    Yes, I often give up my spot to others, but if I'm rushed and pressed for time I may not. You don't know what her day's going to be like. I don't judge and jump to conclusions, better for my mental health and stress levels to give others the benefit of doubt.
  • TheMrs407
    July 5, 2013 at 11:50 AM
    It would be nice for her to let you go ahead, but it's not rude for her not to.
  • LDavis33
    July 5, 2013 at 11:52 AM

    I get what you are saying.  I guess my problem is that because I try to be considerate of people regardless of where I am or what I am doing I have a hard time dealing with people who don't. 

    I do realize that there is the possibility that her mind was elsewhere and the thought didn't even occur to her.  I'm sure that there have been times where my mind has been elsewhere and I have accidentally let a door close on someone who was right behind me, or cut someone off in traffic without even realizing it.


    Quoting Rachael-Dawn:

    Why would that be rude? It is not her priority to think about everyone around her. Maybe she had an busy schedule or a chaotic day and her mind wasn't registering that it would be nice if she put a random person in line behind her at the grocery store go ahead of her.

    Was raised with manners and with courtesy. I watched my mom (amidst our household nightmare) put everyone outside of our home ahead of herself. ALWAYS. It wasn't even a question in her mind. More like a reflex. Not everyone was raised that way. The majority of the planet was not I could guess.

    That still does not mean that she was being rude.


  • L202M
    by L202M
    July 5, 2013 at 11:52 AM

    I know what you mean.  I have found that people who are very courteous will get offened when it's not reciprocated.  It's like my mother...she will buy people cards for no reason other than the fact that she was in the card aisle and thought about them when she saw a pretty card.  But she gets offended when they don't do the same for her.  I always tell her that she can't expect other people to be like her and do what she does, and that her feelings aren't what other people should feel.  

    So, I guess, this is the same thing.  You are very considerate of people and that's why it bothers you when you don't see it in other people...it's not that you feel entitled.


    Quoting LDavis33:

    Yeah, perhaps I did choose the wrong word... inconsiderate might have been a better choice.  It didn't bother me a whole lot, it was just a random thing that happened to me that I thought might start a discussion about manners.  

    Quoting L202M:

    I understand what you are saying, but maybe you used the wrong word when you said that it was rude.  Was it inconsiderate?...yes, but not rude.   I think people are just responding to the word you used.  It would have been nice if she let you in, but no big deal if she didn't.  The fact that it bothered you this much is, I think, why people are thinking that you feel entitled.





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