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Mama2ETA
Do you forgive?
June 30, 2013 at 5:22 AM

 Do you forgive people that make horrible mistakes? Like going off on you, or getting mad at something so tiny? If they apologize and change. Would you forgive them?

 

I have a friend that I've known since I was 7. She was 8. I was having an episode 2 years ago, and I went off on her for her continuously blowing off hanging out because it effected my kids (they would cry because all of a sudden they didn't get to hang out with their best friends- they were like 4 and 5). She would just make other plans. Well, we didn't talk for over a year. I asked her forgiveness and apologized and I let her cool off and left her alone for 2 years. I messaged her 4 months ago and asked how she was doing and we have been hanging out weekly since. She forgave me, but I completely understood if she chose not to.

Are you a forgiving person?

Replies

  • Mama2ETA
    June 30, 2013 at 8:57 AM

     I know what forgiveness is. I was giving an example I went through.

    Quoting happymommy1105:

    Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person or the restoring of a relationship.

    Forgiveness is for myself, for mu own heart. forgiveness is so I can rid my own heart of anger and not become a bitter person.

    Forgiveness is the realization that the past cannot be redone and that the debt I am owed cannot be repaid.

    Forgiveness is allowing yourself to move past the anger and into healing.

    Forgiveness is NOT the restoring of a relationship. forgiveness is NOT forgetting. forgiveness is NOT being a dormat.

     

  • godsgirl26
    June 30, 2013 at 9:06 AM
    I forgive. But that was stupid to go off on her like that.
  • boshs1andonly
    June 30, 2013 at 9:09 AM

    It takes a lot for me to really get angry at someone, so once I write them off, they don't usually get a second chance. But it all really depends on the situation and our relationship. There isn't much I wouldn't forgive my best friend for, she's been there for me through a lot of stuff. 

  • Mama2ETA
    June 30, 2013 at 9:11 AM

     yes it was. I should have talked about it in a productive way. Can't change that now.

    Quoting godsgirl26:

    I forgive. But that was stupid to go off on her like that.

     

  • godsgirl26
    June 30, 2013 at 9:11 AM
    There must have been a good reason she was blowing you off and not wanting to hang out.. I would have let her come to me when she was ready to hang out lol.
    But then a again I don't hang out with females because they are to messy, shady.
  • HIJKLM
    by HIJKLM
    June 30, 2013 at 9:13 AM
    It depends on the situation but tend I hold a grudge... If it was bad enough to stop talking for 2 years I would just figure you were no longer someone I needed in my life.
  • Mama2ETA
    June 30, 2013 at 9:20 AM

     she came to me to hang out that time actually. I had let up because she was so busy. Then she didn't call/text (left her phone at work.....) so my kids were waiting around for them and they never showed. It was shitty on both of our parts.

    Quoting godsgirl26:

    There must have been a good reason she was blowing you off and not wanting to hang out.. I would have let her come to me when she was ready to hang out lol.
    But then a again I don't hang out with females because they are to messy, shady.

     

  • Mama2ETA
    June 30, 2013 at 9:21 AM

     hard pregnancy and new baby. I didn't want to push and I'm sure I was the last thing on her mind.

    Quoting HIJKLM:

    It depends on the situation but tend I hold a grudge... If it was bad enough to stop talking for 2 years I would just figure you were no longer someone I needed in my life.

     

  • happymommy1105
    June 30, 2013 at 9:28 AM
    You equated forgiveness to the restoring of a relationship. that's not what forgiveness is.

    That is the restoring of a relationship.

    The two things are not mutually exclusive.

    I forgave my ex husband for beating the cap out of me but the relationship will never be restored.



    Quoting Mama2ETA:

     I know what forgiveness is. I was giving an example I went through.


    Quoting happymommy1105:

    Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person or the restoring of a relationship.

    Forgiveness is for myself, for mu own heart. forgiveness is so I can rid my own heart of anger and not become a bitter person.

    Forgiveness is the realization that the past cannot be redone and that the debt I am owed cannot be repaid.

    Forgiveness is allowing yourself to move past the anger and into healing.

    Forgiveness is NOT the restoring of a relationship. forgiveness is NOT forgetting. forgiveness is NOT being a dormat.

     

  • Mama2ETA
    June 30, 2013 at 9:31 AM

     uh, no. She forgave me for the things I said, and I forgave her for hurting my children.

    Quoting happymommy1105:

    You equated forgiveness to the restoring of a relationship. that's not what forgiveness is.

    That is the restoring of a relationship.

    The two things are not mutually exclusive.

    I forgave my ex husband for beating the cap out of me but the relationship will never be restored.



    Quoting Mama2ETA:

     I know what forgiveness is. I was giving an example I went through.


    Quoting happymommy1105:

    Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person or the restoring of a relationship.

    Forgiveness is for myself, for mu own heart. forgiveness is so I can rid my own heart of anger and not become a bitter person.

    Forgiveness is the realization that the past cannot be redone and that the debt I am owed cannot be repaid.

    Forgiveness is allowing yourself to move past the anger and into healing.

    Forgiveness is NOT the restoring of a relationship. forgiveness is NOT forgetting. forgiveness is NOT being a dormat.

     

     

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